Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Neva Change

Damn you, you pretty ass New Yorker! I've been tagged so I gotta do this. I owe you a spanking. Barebottomed.

I don't know how much of this I'll ever change, but I shouldn't tolerate any of this bad behavior.

Things I have not changed because I have tolerated:
1. My bad fucking credit. I hate paying for shit over and over again so I fuck myself by paying late.
2. Messing with women I can't stand just 'cuz they got bangin' bodies.
3. My friggin' messy house.
4. The way my staff whines to me about everything.
5. My expanding waistline. I gotta get fit without a New Years Resolution.
6. Letting my ex-wife get under my skin.
7. My propensity to fall for women I can't have.
8. Letting "slights" roll off my back until I explode.
9. My anger problem (see #8). I once threatened one of my frat brothers by telling him I would beat his ass, rob him, then fuck him in the ass like a bitch. Needless to say, he no longer speaks to me.
10.Chronic masterbation. I've been known to have sex all day long, then when the woman leaves, beat off two more times.

I'm taggin' Disco Diva, DecaturMunkee, and the Birthday Girl.



brooklyn babe said...

Damn. Is that why you never run out of lotion (#10).

Good Munkee! Thanks for sharing.
You can now spank me barebottom.

Knockout Zed said...

I meant I'd be barebottomed.

*moving eyebrows up and down*


Insaneblackwoman said...

All this shameless flirting !!! and yo, Babee Munkee, you need to keep your hands and arms above your head, since you can't seem to quit with the masturbation. LOL. Please; nobody tag me because I can't stand to be tagged!!

nikki said...

uh...i like masturbating, but damn...

meanwhile, if i ever need to have a block of concrete crushed with bare hands, i know who to call.

twin said...

like a woman said to me once if you can get yourself off who can

Chubby Chocolate said...

Good list...I think you, Nikki and I should start up a masturbation group on Yahoo. ;-)

The_Practitioner said...

Very insightful.

{mental note: be weary of shaking Zed's hand}


Anonymous said...

WOW, Zed, you never cease to amaze me.

brooklyn babe said...

@ Zed.... lmao! Ok then. I'm game. Get the lotion!
Hey how's batshit, you aint blogged about her in a minute! Or did I miss sumptin!
You know Robyn and I, got citation waiting!

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Ummhhh... I needa be in the masturbation group too... we can call it, "Group Therapy".

Knockout Zed said...

I'd be happy to host any masterbation classes and/or demonstrations. It seems like we're being overloaded with this topic during the holidays so I'll have to save my masterbation post for some other time. I actually have a philosophy behind it. I'm sure y'all will get a kick outta that.

This blog has the potential to be all-Batshit all the time. I don't even wanna let y'all know how much outlandish behavior I put up with just to get some pussy in this hellhole. I'm honestly just avoiding the subject for now.


sj-the-infamous said...

Ya Feliz Cumpleanos tambien, amor! I'll get to this as soon as the hangover gets outta the way....