Monday, December 19, 2005


Hey niggas, what's crackin'? I was working with a extreme case of writers block until this weekend. See, I spent this weekend in Detroit. I was doing a little shopping and shit, makin' it happen for relatives and the like. I was looking through my receipts and I couldn't fucking believe it. In a little over 3 hours of shopping I spent $1200.

My finances ain't pretty and this shit was a little reality check. But imagine if you told your loved ones "Look, I'm really not with the material aspects of the holiday. Understand that I love you and I'll do anything for you. I want to take this time to recommit myself to family." Them niggas will lynch you. Everybody's got their fucking hands out. I'm not even a practicing Christian and these bastards have got me for 12 Hun!

We are to blame because we are the grown folks now. We gotta break this fuckin' cycle, man. This shit ain't supposed to be a free for all. This beggin' shit and grown people gettin' mad at you if you don't give them what they ask for. Nigga, we all work. Buy the shit you want for yourself. And then you won't have the burden of buying me shit. I haven't asked a fuckin' soul for a present since I was 19. I don't want shit. But I'm kinda anti-materialism anyway. I wouldn't expect muthafuckas to be like me.

This thing came to a head this weekend because my ex-girlfriend wants us to exchange presents. She asked me what I wanted, I said "Nothing". I'm being true to life. I've never asked her for anything but pussy. I sighed, then I asked her. She said "A digital video camera!" I have never wanted to choke a bitch so much in my life as I had right then.

I said "Why don't we put price limits on the gift buying?" She was all hurt and shit. She tried to make it like that would limit the shit she could give me. Right. She has not come close to buying me anything of the value that I've bought her for Christmas.

I think we should stop faking it altogether. This ain't about Christ. It's a free for all. Ask for the sky. Fuck fiscal responsibility, saving, and all that shit. Go crazy for the fleeting assed feeling that opening a present gives you. Regret the spending for 6 months and get ready for it again.

Materialism is the most acceptable addiction on Earth. I just don't wanna keep feedin' nigga's habits and shit.

Free Ya Self,


Melle Mel said...

You talkin' all that shit and you still bought the damn camera - didn't you?

Blah Blah Blah said...

feeling mighty grinchy huh?

if you believe all the shit you just said.....go return that shit you just bought and get your 12 hunit back....

by the way...i need a new lite weight notebook....lmao

happy holidays zeddy

ddsprncs said...

I was thinking I am not buying gifts for any one who does not actully believe in christ, I mean why should they get gifts for a holiday they don't practice through out the year, or out right denouce. (I don't don't expect hannakah gifts)

ps I saw you over at n search of ecstacy --

Ms.Honey said... she has a lot of nerve. I mean unless ya'll were in that friends zone I'm kinda surprised she would ask for a gift....what did she think she was gonna get you that could equal up to that.

Butterfly Jones said...

Tell that moneygrabbing beeyatch to buy her own bloody camera! I ain't buying shit for no one except my babygirl, and I don't go crazy. Xmas is for kids as far as I'm concerned.

nikki said...

i'm definitely with you on this one, zed. i told all of my family five years ago that i was done doing the christmas gifts unless i made them. i really don't give a shit if they're cool with it or not, that's the deal.

this year i'm buying gifts for the first time in five years. my little cousin is in his first year of college so he gets a laptop, and my new niece gets clothes and stuff. that's it.

grown folk can either appreciate the scarf or cap or poncho i made 'em or they can go fuck themselves. it's all good to me either way.

Insaneblackwoman said...

Papa Munkee:
As a fellow Sag, and really feeling you on this one, I agree with you 200%! Aint no need for me to buying anything for anybody that they can basically buy for themselves if I told them where to find it. You feel me? I knew that you would. I always decline gift-giving. Because, simply and bluntly, I don't want the junk people pass along to each other as Xmas gifts. One year, I got a pair of bamboo earrings and guess what? The posts had some other person's ear gunk stuck around them. Aint that about a bitch?!

toneec42 said...

I don't feel obligated to give anyone anything for Christmas. Espcially grown people with jobs. Now if I see something that strikes me for a particular person then I'll buy it but I do that throughout the year. This year I did make a few presents for people but just easy stuff, scarves, CD's etc. Thoughtful gifts are the best anyway.
And I can't believe your ex asked for a digital video camera! Tell the truth, though, did you buy it?

chele said...

How can your ex-girlfriend fix her lips to ask for a digital video camera? Because she knows she'll get it? What the hell is that?

The_Practitioner said...

Whoa Nelly. $1,200 huh? That's definitely a grip.

If I spend $1,200 on anything during the holiday season, it better have a motor in it or involve two video hoe dime pieces. ;o)

{oh yeah, one of the brawds I wrote a story about; actually commented on the story}

See you at the Serial Dome

sj-the-infamous said...

you getting gifts for an "ex?" wtf?!

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

I can see it if you and the ex have a WHOLLLLE lotta history and are still cool like that, but it sounds like she just needs to catch a brick! Only adult I'm exchanging gifts with is my best friend, coz she's a blessing to me and I just wanna give something back for all the things she's done for me. Even Moms and I decided to keep it to the kiddies!

Knockout Zed said...

@ KeKe and Tonee
Yes, I bought the fucking camera.

Which broad? Was she mad?

Nice friggin' pic, mami! Yeah, me and the ex are still pretty cool.

Some gift exchange is sentimental and traditional. But I'll guarantee your home girl doesn't ask you for some ol' extravagant shit.

The_Practitioner said...

Zed - That would be Bronx Girl (see: check please! story)

Ms.Honey said...

LOL just cause he has green eyes doesn't mean he's a pretty boy lol

Anonymous said...

Yea that is some cake. 12 stacks man oh man. I ain't on that. My son will get shit only cause he my son and every child should have Christmas. But we celbrating Kwanzaa, he will get 7 gifts related to the 7 principles. I already told him , there's no DAMN Santa, and that parents buy the gifts. I'm not gone lie to him. He's 3, but oh well. Fuck any and everything AMERICA has force feed to us. That includes their religion, history and their holidays and anything else America has given us.

Sorry I'm getting militant again. N E WAY, I feel you on the materialism shit.

My first and I are exchanging gifts, only because he suggested I need a DVD player cause he tired of watching movies on my laptop. So he will get me a DVD player and I will get him a DVD to watch in my new DVD player. Ironically, he wants "THe Devil's Reject's". I shouldn't be watching that movie its like porn to me and my crazy ass.

Freaky Deaky said...

For $1200 her gift better be the best I've ever gotten. If she comes with anything homemade, bootleg, or cheap (no where near $1200 in this example) I'd take the digital video camera back and tell her you gave it to another chick.

TRUTHZ said...

which is why i am glad i don't celebrate xmas... it's a headache with people fighting over things that are regular priced with red stickers....just a ploy to get peeps in debt