Friday, March 10, 2006

The Inevitable, Part 2

Hey peoples! If you've been reading this blog awhile you probably guessed that I didn't just shut Carmel down after that debacle on Sunday. We've been talking on the phone a little. She asked me out to lunch yesterday. Visuals are a muthafucka. She's like 5'2", petite, with a set of D cups. I am not a breast man, but DAMN! We talked at lunch and the discussion drifted to dudes and their underlying motives when stepping to a chick. "What's my motive?" I asked. "Well, you know about my recent divorce and my kids. I got a lot of baggage. So you probably just wanna fuck." It was like she was reading a white ping-pong ball with "B-14" on it, cuz in my head I shouted "Bingo!"

"Well, I do wanna fuck" I said matter of factly, "but it's cool if we could hang out. I don't know anybody here. I'm really just meeting as many people as I can. I'm used to having a big social circle. " All of which is true. So I laid my cards on the table, trying to make myself as unattractive a long term prospect as possible. Basically trying to save me from me.

She called me last night and asked if I knew where she could buy a "little toy". I laughed 'cuz I know this drill. My M.O. is to take a chick to the sex shop, tell her to pick out the one she wants, I buy it for her, and suck the clit while I'm inserting it into her. It's just my thing.

"Yeah I know a spot that I can put you up on." I'm still trying to stop the inevitable.


brooklyn babe said...

(flaggin my hands @ you:)
Oh just go on and give the girl sum... so we can resume our regulared scheduled whorin' program.

Thank You.

brooklyn babe said...

I meant "regularly."

Honest said...

LMAO! I had to laugh out loud at this one.

Insaneblackwoman said...

I agree with Miss Brook. Whatever is happening wit'chall, she DEFINITELY wants something from you. She already know you aint FINNA! be dealing with her and them six ass kids, LOL! So, she probably just wants some sex, too. A divorced woman with 6 younguns can't possibly be getting none, either, because men don't wanna be bothered with them kids that aren't theirs.

So, I say (though it pains me to) stick and move. That's prolly what she's thinking, too. Don't let her take you seriously, or she'll be trying to stick you with them kids of hers... eventually. LOL.

I can just see your ass now, with 6 kids following in behind you...

Knockout Zed said...

@BK Babe
I'm trying to be "good". Honestly!

I'm struggling and you're laughing at me!

Naw, she only has 3 kids. Her homegirl has 6. Listen to me, ONLY 3. That's e-fuckin-nuff.


Insaneblackwoman said...

Oh yeah: Check Comments 10 and 11 of your last blog.

Was I right or was I wrong for "checking"?

Knockout Zed said...

You're good, mama. It's actually been 12 years no weed, with one notable interruption: my wedding day in Jamaica.


Supa said...


You 'aint gettin' out of this one. So go ahead & pick out that sex toy already.

Youse a mess Zeddie!!

Insaneblackwoman said...

Twelve years is even BETTER. May you be blessed with 12x2=25 more good years. Cheers!

chele said...

C'mon ... you ain't really trying to stop nothing. Go 'head and do the do. She won't be happy until you do (neither will you for that matter). A little toy indeed!

lyre said...

now I have been studying religion the past 9 days and it's Lent. Dont do it. at lest not until after Easter. LOL

lyre said...

oH and I am 5'10" with b that good? cause I sho could use a good clit suckin! LMAO

Hali said...

Just take out some time and set her straight. With or without the toy. LOL.

Anonymous said...

Ummm Zed, I need a new toy...*lol*
Do you know where I could get one?

brooklyn babe said...

3 kids, 6 kids it all the same. Shit is plural.
And you ain't really trying to be that GOOD... you just playin HARD to unget.

Drop the drawers. Stop playing. What? You don't think she'll respect you in the morning?

ChezNiki said...

Sex Toy WITH tongue?!?!! Now that's whats up! Please start your seminar on giving women strong orgasms. You could start a trend and help women all over the world.
Each one, Teach one!

Knockout Zed said...

While I'm out shopping need anything?

You don't know how much I wish I could smoke. Trust me.

Last night it almost happened. I walked away.
*patting myself on the back*

Tall woman on deck! Oh my goodness! Yeah, that's good, it's great!

I'm very good freestyle, too. I don't need the toy, but we work well together.

I'm here to help.
*looking at map of I-94*

I need full disclosure before I hit. I don't need a stalker. I gotta tell her every relevant thing I'm doing (i.e. fucking other women) in my own time. I still gotta live in this small ass town.

I tried to tell my boys about this (actually I showed them one of my home videos, but that's another story). I don't think they like the competition from the sex toy. Idiots!


Anonymous said...

Zed. Read this message and read it good GIVE IT TO HER. It just isn't right that there's a woman out there so close to getting licked and sticked,then have it taken away like (I'm snapping my fingers)THAT!


Chubby Chocolate said...

Don't know why my comments was marked anonymous...You know it's me. :-)

Knockout Zed said...

I don't know, mama. She's here for the taking but everytime I'm about to do it, I hesitate. And she's off the hook.

It's the baggage, man.


Anonymous said...

by the time you read may have been to late.....

don't fuck her...send her on her way. the convo at the table shoulda had you running..but i know you like to live on the vewy vewy ca-ful dez.