Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Wing Man

Today's Theme Song: "Last Nite" by The Strokes

I was determined. Last night was going to be the night. I talked to Carmel in the afternoon. We needed to talk.

"I've only been with you twice since we met where it was just me and you. I don't want to talk to you on the phone. You get distracted by everything. I need to talk to you face to face, just you and me." She understood. "When you said we need to talk I thought it was something bad" she replied. I guess that would depend on your point of view. I had to tell her this wasn't working. I'm not dating her and I'm not fucking her, so I gotta sever the relationship. I was going to tell her last night.

She left church last night and called me. "Let's meet at BW3." It was Tuesday, 30 cent wing night. I was there at 9:15, just like we agreed upon. From 9:15 to 10:20 I got periodic calls from her telling me she was on her way. I'm impatient as fuck, but I stick around because I gotta talk to her. The place is filling up. This is the place to find Satan's Anus' black population, on cheap wing night at B-Dubs. I guess I shoulda known. I even saw Coco there, though I didn't realize it was her until much later.

As I waited, there was this Afrocentric woman there. All natural woman. She complimented me on my locs. I thanked her. She stared, smiling. I love Afrocentric, natural women, shit, all women really, if they are not BoogaBears. She was a BoogaBear. I looked at the front door.

Carmel came in. Beautiful. She brought another one of her homegirls with her, "Hazel". Didn't she hear what the fuck I said earlier? I wanted to bail the fuck out. She comes in and hugs me. I'm like "Ay, what's the deal? What's up? You got your girl with you." Carmel responded "She needed to get out, I didn't think you would mind."

The only fucking reason I'm out on a work night without pussy on my mind is so I can talk to this chick. And she brings an excuse not to be able to talk. I'm fuckin' livid.

Turns out the BoogaBear is another one of Carmel's girls. So I end up at a table with Carmel, the BoogaBear and Hazel. I'm beside myself. I keep looking at my phone to check the time. Thelma's calling. Good ol' Thelma.

I sit there for awhile and I get up to leave, that's when I finally recognized Coco. She was wearing big assed shades, a long assed weave and a hat, radically changing her from the way I'm used to seeing her. I igged her, like I figured she'd been doing to me.

I hugged Carmel good-bye. I whispered in her ear "You know this is really fucked up. I wanted to talk to you." And I left, making sure I turned my phone off.

Be Cool,
KZ

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Fuck that...you should have just told her in front of her girls. Hell, she heard you loud and clear and YET...she STILL brought someone else with her.

At this point, no need to even have a sit down with her...just tell over the phone that this isn't working for you and you aren't interested.

Heed my words: Choose a woman that compliments you/your position and has similar interest. Stop fucking with these miscellaneous broads that are more trouble than they are worth.

chele said...

I agree. You should have told that heffa right then and there. Why drag it out? Oh, I keep forgetting that you're a nice guy. Well, you could have pulled her to the side and given her the news. Tell her over the phone and end the agony already.

Anonymous said...

Agreed. She knows what's up. That is why she brought a friend. Get the heck outta here. We all know when it is over. Who brings friends with them to meet a man without giving the guy heads up anyway? She ain't an adult, just a child who can't and won't admit that she is not ready. Whateva. End it.

Knockout Zed said...

@All y'all
Have you seen her rack?

KZ

Disco said...

wow.

Damn dawg. I'da pulled that hoe to the side and told her "Since you brought your girl, I will just get to the point here on the side of the bar....." and proceeded to give her a blasting (probably made worse by the anger that I'da been feeling)


Again. wow.

Anonymous said...

You don't even like titties...you like ASS!
So fugget about the rack and move on yo!

Robert L. Mack said...

After reading about her, I would rather you get back at 'ol Batsh*t. LOL.

Supa said...

Damn. So Caramel's a silly chick. Who knew?!?!

Knockout Zed said...

@Robyn
The only reason I'm even being forthright and not doing an ol' Detroit Dipsee-Doo (i.e. just not calling anymore) is because this is a fishbowl. I can't have even the hint of an "episode" in public.

@Back
You haven't seen THESE titties!

@Mack Man
I haven't written about it, but short update on Batshit: she's not even returning my calls. I guess she's got a new one. She's not even an option anymore.

@Supe
She's on some ridiculous shit. She left me a voicemail message this morning. Why the fuck even bother?

KZ

Chubby Chocolate said...

I can't stop laughing from the comments...

OK Zed...She straight did a BEEEEYATCH move! She knew what you were meeting her to talk about.

If she's going to play that way, don't answer any of her calls. She wants to play passive agressive, you do it too. So what if it's a fishbowl. It will look bad on her, not you.

Then when word gets around, all women with similar sized tit will flock to you. :-)

Anonymous said...

You fucking dissed my girl, Zed. I don't like that shit.

And it aint like you are all that.

You might be the one who needs to move on, because clearly Carmel is gay with all her "homegirls".

I really don't appreciate what you did to my girl, 'tho. I hate to say this, but you aint shit ya'self!

Anonymous said...

Who is Anonymous referring to? Who have you dissed, Zeddy Poo?

Just for the shit Carmel pulled on you, you should go ahead and fuck off the ghettoslut sister. Get back at her ass... you can't just let her do you like that. You told that bitch you wanted to talk,ALONE, and then she show up with the whole fucking town, seemingly.

If you fuck with her after that disobedience, then you need YOUR ass kicked...

Knockout Zed said...

@CC
I don't think this can be said enough, Chubby: You got some big ass titties!

With that bit of business out of the way, let me just say, I have no choice but to ignore her. I'm done, out of the game.

@Anon
Are you sure your girl didn't diss me? I have extremely small genitalia.

@Na$$ty
I have no idea who Anonymous is talking about. But she's right, I ain't shit!

I'm done with Carmel. Really. Trust me.

KZ

Honest said...

BW3 wow can't believe they have one in Satan's Anus. There's one (I think it's still there) in Chapel Hill NC and all us black and broke college students used to go there for 25 cent wing Tuesdays. Nothing but black people as far as the eye could see in that place on Tuesday nights.

As for Carmel dude I usually stop by for a great laugh and know she'll bring you lots of blog fodder but I'mma have to say it: Drop that trick. You'll find another top heavy chick in no time.

DramaFree said...

I agree with everyone else. Chicks with boobs are everywhere now...some are even buying them. Another one will come along lol.

lyre said...

okay, I'm old.
What's a rack?
And Where is Satan's Anus?
:-))

But I think neither one is good enough for my Zed. Zed, would you take me to buy a sex toy? ;-)

Knockout Zed said...

@Honest
There was a BW3 in East Lansing when I was an undergradute and one in Southfield (suburb of Detroit) for a little while in 1995. I used to love B-Dubs. I hate the Satan's Anus location.

@Living Single
I'm trying to move on. I am. Really. Pickin's are mighty slim here. I need a regular sex partner. I'm not even being greedy at this point. Just one.

@BDW
A rack is a set. You know twins. Funbags. Babyfeeders. Juggs. Sweaterpuppies. Titties.

We can go shopping for that toy anytime you want to. That's what I'm here for!

KZ

lyre said...

Okay, I know the "twins"! I took mine out last Saturday! Its amazing what a good bra from Wallmart will do for them! :-)

Mr.Slish said...

Zed you might have to hit it and HIIIIDE....

Carmel wants it baaad. Shes not going to give up until shes had THE ZED THE CONQUERER EXPERIENCE...lol

nikki said...

oh HELL nah. i'm with the others who said you should have told her right there in front of her friends. she KNEW you wanted to talk to her and you gave the reason why...cuz she always had folk around her.

it's almost like she was afraid to be alone with you, like she knew you were gonna cut her off and she wanted to delay it somehow.

and you definitely need to get a stable of quality sistas, cuz it seems like you keep finding yourself in situations similar to this. then again, we'd have nothing to read about if you actually found one girl to be happy with. LOL

Knockout Zed said...

@BDW
All twins need lots of fresh air and sunshine. I encourage putting them out there as often as possible!

@Slish
She left me a voicemail again last night. I'm trying to hold out, but who knows.

You can hang out over here for awhile since you started a shitstorm on your own blog! I'm still on your side.

@Nikki
There is no "singles scene" here at all except with college kids. It's fucked up. The professional women are married so unless you play "snatchies", you're done. I'll have material for the rest of my stay here, trust me.

KZ

Hali said...

She knew exactly what she was doing and you went along with it. She may think you will change your mind. I agree with the comment that you should have still told her and embarrassed her and then left. O well. You had your chance. I'm confused. Because of the rack are you going to let her stick around?

Knockout Zed said...

@Hali
Not necessarily because of the rack, 'cuz I'm an ass man. I'd let a woman stick around because of her ass. But an exceptional rack should get treated exceptionally, so she's got a shot.

KZ

Insaneblackwoman said...

I'll tell ya who Im talking about.

Actually, I'm referring to all these cyberspace bitches who keep flocking to your blog with they hands stuck out, looking, hoping for a piece of yuor on line dick. Like you gonna choose one of them...

But my girl had your back and you straight out dis'd her. Ice King. Cold shoulder. Hmmm.

Carmel might not be the one who's gay. It might be you, bruh.

Insaneblackwoman said...

I'll tell ya who Im talking about.

Actually, I'm referring to all these cyberspace bitches who keep flocking to your blog with they hands stuck out, looking, hoping for a piece of yuor on line dick. Like you gonna choose one of them...

But my girl had your back and you straight out dis'd her. Ice King. Cold shoulder. Hmmm.

Carmel might not be the one who's gay. It might be you, bruh.

Insaneblackwoman said...

I'll tell ya who Im talking about.

Actually, I'm referring to all these cyberspace bitches who keep flocking to your blog with they hands stuck out, looking, hoping for a piece of yuor on line dick. Like you gonna choose one of them...

But my girl had your back and you straight out dis'd her. Ice King. Cold shoulder. Hmmm.

Carmel might not be the one who's gay. It might be you, bruh.

Insaneblackwoman said...

I'll tell ya who Im talking about.

Actually, I'm referring to all these cyberspace bitches who keep flocking to your blog with they hands stuck out, looking, hoping for a piece of yuor on line dick. Like you gonna choose one of them...

But my girl had your back and you straight out dis'd her. Ice King. Cold shoulder. Hmmm.

Carmel might not be the one who's gay. It might be you, bruh.

Anonymous said...

First of all: my bad to the lady who is InsaneBlackWoman. I'm am so sorry my comments showed up under your blog.

I really apologize for the confusion. I jsut realized the mixup when I was checking to see if my comment to Zed got posted.

Maybe he can talk to blogger.com to see if they can fix the matter.
Again, I am sorry, Miss Lady; I don't want people to think my comments are yours. But still, I meant what I said Zed.

Paula D. said...

This is a trip! Dayum!

Insaneblackwoman said...

@KZ: Yo, baby, the fuck is happening? I been trying to access your space for like a damn hour now only to have Blogger to tell me that I don't have access your blogspot. And when I did get access, your webpage kept going blank. Fucking up my comments... but you have to forgive me because I'm using a laptop.

Now, I see why: Anonymous. You see how many times he/she posted that shit, too? Damn! They wanted to make sure you didn't overlook their shit. But what I was trying to say was: I'm glad Thelma was calling you. That means she wants to see you. I hope you want to see her, too. I hope you WENT to see her and quit twiddling around with "Mt. Carmel" and her nosy ass girlfriends, LOL.

@Anon: Mofo, two things: 1.tell us who you are, and 2. share with us who you think Zed dismissed. Hell, we wanna know, too. You know we do. Or get the fuck on. And don't let me catch you in the street... It aint fair you make your little snide comments on SOMEBODY else's website, but then you aint the got the balls to come out the bushes so we can see your face, Boogeyman..

@Blogger.com: Y'all can't get the system networks to work no better than this? Shit like this can get people hurt, you know? Can't y'all fix the problem in a timely manner, please?

Back at KZ: You know I wouldn't disrespect you or yours in any kind of way. Maybe you can talk to Blogger to see what happened and if they can fix the problem...

Anonymous said...

Her time is up!!
She a dumb ass, why waste your time?
You told her, so now, do her BOUGUISH, I say get some ass from her ghetto fab sister.....

But since she wanted to do it like that, you should've told her in front of them so she can look stupid. If her girl needed to get out, she should've called it off with you, then having you wait....

AWWW HELL NAWW!!!

Sangindiva said...

I don't have a big rack or a huge ass
but I bet you'd be happy :)

I did your blog and your train of thought :)

I thanx Supa for puttin' me on to you-

Butterfly Jones said...

My two pence worth. 'Fuckin' 'ell!