Thursday, July 13, 2006

Back Again

I just got off the phone with my frat brother, Jigga. He's trying to make sure I'm squared away with someplace to crash this weekend. I'm talking to him, preoccupied as hell because shit has pretty much hit the fan here work-wise.

This Mary Sue, leader of the secretaries, is at it again. For weeks she's been bugging me and my boss, asking for more work to do. This was a plot, plain and simple.

She just finished her bachelor's degree from some online university I'd never heard of. For all intents and purposes, it's useless for what we do, but she's been insisting we give her more relevant, non-secretarial work to do. But gotdamn it, we NEED her to be a secretary. So we've been hesitant. You see, Mary Sue is, for all intents and purposes, a fuck-up. She has never completed satisfactorily anything that takes more than two steps to accomplish. And for the most part she's REFUSING to do secretarial work because it's beneath her.

These fuckin' unions have got my hands tied, so I can't can her ass. I've been re-assigning her shit like crazy and taking the shit she used to do and giving it to other people. She asked me a few weeks ago if she was being pushed out for budgetary reasons. Mary Sue was concerned because the work she was letting fall by the wayside was being re-assigned. I told my boss about this conversation and told him "Watch out for a fake injury".

Just like clockwork (on a old faulty clock) today she called me from her workstation and said she hurt her back lifting file boxes. She needed to go see the city's doctor. And off the fuck we go!

It's times like these when I wonder why the fuck I ever wanted to be in management at all.



aquababie said...

trifling...with a capital T!

i hate folk like that. they want more work, but don't want to do what they're supposed to do. we have one of those around here too.

Rashan Jamal said...

Damn, Workmans comp and FMLA drive me crazy. People be making up shit all the time to get time off and our hands are tied. I hate management sometimes too.

Mr.Slish said...

Its god to be the

i like liquor and tv said...

lol@that broad graduating from a college she found on the back of a matchbook.

lol@that broad falling out like Ezell. I bet she'll settle out of court for a 40oz. and a box of envelopes.

blue butterfli said...

LOL @ MarySue. (Please tell me that is NOT her real name?)

How is it that she can just up and decide she doesn't want to do the job she was hired for?

Can you ask her to PLEASE call me & tell me how that shit works? 'Cause I want to go in tomorrow and let my supervisor know that I'm going to go on over and set up camp in one of the CEO's offices and she can just let some peon do my old job. (LOL)

~La Mariposa Azul~

Newy said...

Yeah mary sue can get away with "just not wanting to do her job" let sheniqua try it....*smh* SHADY

Angel said...

DAG!!!! everybody tripping in the workplace huh? i have an office assistant who definitely has similar sketchy behavior. guaranteed to call in on mondays. tiptoeing out early on fridays. oh lord, and if it rains, he is not coming in because he lives far out and "water done flooded the whole street and my truck can't drive through it." LOL LOL LOL everyone in my department knows about his "antics" and it's really sad. zed, he's FIFTY damn years old!!!!!

Little Brown Girl said...

Ohhhhhhhhh I think she's on to something. There are some boxes in the front office for me...I think I'll attempt to carry them back to my spot on my own...tell Mary Sue that I said GOOD SHYT!!!

Keep your head up more year left and then we're off to more bullshyt from a different group of fuk ups *wink*

Superstar Nic said...

Hello my sweet Zed! I jus wanted to stop by and sho sum luv. How are you? I hope its all good.

Honest said...

I feel your pain really does suck sometimes. You gotta keep your own shyt tight but then have to worry that someone else is keeping their shyt tight and are "challenged enough". awwww hell!

Is there another job Mary sue joe bob can apply for and NOT get so she realizes that she sucks?

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i think secretaries as a profession will be phased out in the near future so don't worry in about five years you'll be able to answer your own phone and type your own labels...

it'll be awesome!

mark my words!

Isha said...

Z: You complainin' about a subordinate to does squat and gets paid for it...How about I had an 80+K manager who did not do SHYT, decided she could not manage the way we do as a group and quit! With a 1/2 mill project on the table and LOADS of work unfinished. Now I got her work AND mine, but only at my pay...SUCKS!!! I keep telling my "big boss", that we need a refund from the chick that just left. She was always "under deadline" but came in late, left early, has finished nothing and left us wiah a bill for her nanny & gas!

On top of all of that...she's gettin paid for shares in the company that she JUST got. Can we say that Isha is HOT!!!


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

okay okay okay i gotta idea

Zed, let's watch that movie Secretary together and drink vodka based drinks and umm..think about how joyous the work place can be:-)

Knockout Zed said...

We got a few around here. I can't wait to lay some muthafuckas off!

This management shit is for the birds. Maybe it would be better for me in the private sector.

Shit, I'm just the Junior King (like Garrett Morris on the Jamie Foxx show!).

@L and TV
She's a funny ass chick, too. Puttin' on airs and shit. Just answer the phone!

That's not her real name, but a pretty good approximation of it.

You can do the same thing. Just move up north and work for the public sector. You'll be in a union and be a semi-protected ass.

Hey, guess what? Mary Sue is A BLACK WOMAN!

She's got a similar call in sick schedule as your boy. And she's Fifty five!

Mary Sue is giving my ass the blues. The sad thing is you're right. The next gig will be a new group of bullshitters to deal with.

What's up mama? I'm glad you stopped by. We miss you over here!

Funny you should say that. She's applied for a bunch of other jobs in the city to no avail. She still thinks her shit don't stink.

@Miss Ahmad
Well I'm halfway there. I already type all my own shit. The only think my secretaries do are answer phones, play gatekeeper, and open mail. One day I can do everything but be my own gatekeeper.

The worst thing about your situation is the inherited stress without compensation. They need to throw you a little somethin', damn! This chick jetted and you're expected to carry the burden just like that? That's some foul shit. They need to at least pay for your gas too!

@Miss Ahmad again
Baby, you been readin' my Netflix queue? I very literally JUST sent back "Secretary" a few days ago! I was actually gonna blog about it! Damn, if only I could fill my secretarial vacancies so perfectly. Without the sadomaschistic overtones, of course.


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

secretary is an all time great flick!

she was a ride or die kinda chick...i mean for lack of a better word. there are some scenes in there worth replaying if you know what i mean!

please blog about it!

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad again again
I'm gonna make it so. I'll write about it next week.


NegroPino™ said...

Fawking UNIONS!!!!!!!!!

onefromphilly said...

CITY Government SUCKS, filled with unions who protect alot of fukked-up attitute having workers !!!!!!!!!!!
After 12 years of working for the City of Brotherly Love, I'm lucky I still have a functioning brain cell left. Every pay day one of our secretaries first thing in the morning use to go the credit union, pick up her breakfast, stop by the drug stores, come back and eat breakfast at her desk, call and check on her kids, write out her checks and address the envelopes with City lables, go to the Post Office, come back to her desk and sit until 12, THEN GO TO LUNCH! WTF??? That shyt was friggin hilarious. She retired after 38 yrs of dedicated service. LMAO

Newy said...

*dead* Mary Sue is black *blank stare* and she ain't fiyahed yet. Dat's cause you up norf. she can't try that in da souf...she woulda been so fiyahed.

Robert L. Mack said...

Zed, you talking about that University of Phoenix online? LOL! I see them advertising everywhere..Ive always been like what's the catch?

Knockout Zed said...

I've come to hate unions. Both my parents were members of the United Auto Workers for 30 plus years. The way that incompetent, belligerent, and plain dumb ass workers are protected is fucked up.

These union cats here be battlin' for the worse muthafuckas and selling out the best ones!

That sounds like this secretary I know from the City of Detroit!!!! Actually she probably sounds like a few of the people WE ALL have worked with.

I can't believe they haven't fired her either, but like I said, the union is a trip.

Maybe I need to participate in a "worker swap" program with da durty.

Naw, I'm not even talking about the University of Phoenix. At least I'd HEARD of them. The school she got a degree from I'd never even heard of!


EqualOpportunityCrush said...

be very careful with this mary sue chick.. if she's savvy enough to get a bootleg degree and expect some type of compensation/ increase in responsibility despite her ineptness.. then gets mad and curiously hurts herself at work.. you have no idea what other type of shit she might have up her sleeve.. that's a sneaky hoe.. watch your back and keep your eyes peeled Zed.