Monday, July 31, 2006

Grand Draggin'

It took the strength of two Hercules' and 5 elephants for me to rise out of the sack this morning. Which means it was either a good weekend or one that was deemed too short. Or it was the dread of coming into this mausoleum. I think it was the just the latter.

The weekend was cool. They gave me a delivery window of 11 am to 2pm on Saturday, so I thought I was in for a long day of waiting. They got to my house at 10:50 am. That never would've happened in Detroit, that I know for sure.

I was entertaining an "import" this weekend too, so I got to actually use the couch. Very carefully, though. I hadn't Scotchgarded it yet. I wonder if this is the downside of my infamous sex drive. She actually had to ask me for it. It's not like it's been pouring in for me, but she actually had to ask for it. Left to my own devices, I wouldn't have touched her. What the fuck is wrong with me?

You know the fourth post I ever wrote was concerning my bitch ass assistant. Here it is for the curious. I came into work heated, ready to slice this bitch muthafucka up. He was on his way to a meeting. I told him "It's important that I talk to you. Come see me when you're done." Just to put something on his fuckin' mind.

I checked out Satan's Anus' Black Arts Fair. Let's just say it's a slight downgrade from the African World Festival in the Motor City. If you used your fingers and your toes, you'd still have digits left over after counting the booths. Even if you lost a foot in a landmine accident.

I saw quite a few tremendous broads there, ones I'd never seen before. Just like every other outstanding chick I've seen in SA, every one of 'em was matrimonied up. Job satisfaction plus the female factor has got my ass down.

My leasing office called me on Sunday to let me know my lease was up on July 31. "I'll re-up. But I need a clause in there that lets me out if I find a job more than 50 miles away." It shall be done.


P.S. Notice that I still don't really have shit to talk about. Hopefully this "white cloud" will stop following me and I can write again.


aquababie said...

there's nothing wrong with not wanting to sleep with the chic. was it even decent? don't get me wrong. sex is good. sex is beautiful. i love sex and having it. however you might be at the point where you're tired of the meaningless act.

or she might have been butt tell me :)

your weekend sounds better than.

Newy said...

Maybe you are just sick of the random stick...we all get to that point...some sooner than others but we all get there. (Thanks for the well wishes) is getting better :-)

aquababie said...

first :)

Disco said...

i am mad that you STILL could count the booths on fingers with some to spare.....

The Anus is SOOO NOT the place to be! Oh, I also saw D.Mott pre-MSU picnic and I thought I MIGHT go....then the heat shut that shit DOWN!! There was noooooooooo way I was gon go to a park to "mingle " with a buncha African's that I don't know (for the most part) ! LOL

Oh well.....c'est la vie

Oh and p.s.....yes, PLEASE get the "couch that pussy built" scotchgarded!

Knockout Zed said...

She was very pretty. The sex sucked, but it served it's purpose (i.e. getting the venow outta the snake).

Welcome back, mama!

I think it might be a case of "over-masterbation" stealing my sex drive. Or I could just be getting old.


Knockout Zed said...

I stayed away from the picnic due to some chicks I might see that I didn't wanna see all in the same place (Big Fun, Eggy, LoLo, Pinky, the list goes on!). It was hot as fuck so I hope I didn't miss too much and people stayed away.

I scotchgarded "the couch that pussy built" (LOL!)yesterday. It should be dry in about an hour.


aquababie said...

well you could have jerked off then. you just weren't really feeling her. i don't care how much i masterbate, if i'm with a man that truly turns me on, i will be good.

what type of conversation have yall had? has she stroked you mentally?? ;)

Anonymous said... neither. It's weird, my life is so full write now that I cannot find anything to write about.

I wonder if misery is the best friend of the pen?

BTW, your art festival sounds much like the sad Harlem Book Fair. I went last weekend and it looked just like everything else in Harlem - fried fish, chicken, skrimp; lemonade, cakes and ghetto lit tables (about 10 in total).

So sad.

BZ said...

LMMFAO @ you ain even scotchguarded that sh*t yet. Man, at least you got some! :-(

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

you can't always get what you want
you can't always get what you want
but if you try sometimes
you get what you need!

rolling stones!

you post made me think of that song. sounds like you're in a need of a muse!

good luck with that!

Prophetess said...

I must have to rise up at 2:00am to be "first" around here... if ya'll are still playing that game...

Low sex drive, Zedro? Comes with age, although I am not one to talk. I think its different for both men and women.

That chick may become (hopefully) the last chick you buss on without being in a committed relationship. I think you've grown tired of the sex hustle. So, when Love calls, you better answer. Don't let it slip away.... too many times, or Love might not ever come again.

Regarding the copperhead: you have more authority and power than you believe or think you do. You KNOW how to get that monkey off your back...

Prophetess said...

Okay, I just read your Episodes post...

You gone have to do SOMETHING. That was total disrespect when he'd omit your professional designation on your documents. Aren't you coming up on your second year there? Maybe certain people don't want you to have a second year.

He musta thought you were some idiot who'd fall for the old "fair treatment" tactic?

blue butterfli said...

"Tremendous Broads"??


La Mariposa Azul was here!


NegroPino™ said...

Why did it suck?

restlessnla said...

Truth be told, you have not had anything to talk about since you held out on telling us about the comedian woman that visited you. That was just wrong. Spill those beans already and I bet you get your mojo back.

Honest said...

Go ahead brotha and skeet guard that couch righ away.

Sangindiva said...

I'm with Glam... I think you need a muse.
And to move to a new place...
*making room on my bed* :)

Cheer up Zeddie- this "old man act" is a drag!

1969 said...

At least the couch has proven useful already. :)

Blah Blah Blah said...! that that's out of the way...


Knockout Zed said...

I was slightly irritated the whole time. I think I've gotten a little too used to being in my solitary space.

The 6 food booths all had catfish (which I don't eat) and fried chicken (which I don't need to eat). It was a sad spectacle.

The way it was, I would've been OK with none.

@Miss Ahmad
You volunteering to be a muse? I'll take it!

I've been in the committed relationship. I was that guy that always had a girlfriend. I used to jump from relationship to relationship. Not anymore. I'm gonna stick with this freedom thing for a while longer.

I just finished my first year here. That cat has been jealous from jump and all I've ever given him is autonomy.

Small City tremendous, not Blue Butterfli tremendous. It's all relative.

@Papis Princess
No head, one position (cowgirl). Very boring. I tried like hell to be a two minute brother. I went 3 minutes over.

I think you might be right. It's a curse! I shoulda just told everything on that post. Now I'm blocked up something horrible.

The skeet guard has been applied. It is now safe for entertaining she-bloggers.

You ain't gotta make room on the bed. We'll occupy the same space, stacked horizontally.

I need a damn muse!

I can't give the couch too much credit. But it did help for the living room portion.


Knockout Zed said...

You threaten me more per blog entry than any woman I know.

Did I give you that caveat when you got your couch? Hunh? Answer me!


Little Brown Girl said...

all I read was you had sex this weekend...and not withyourself...that's all I read!

Knockout Zed said...

It was like I was by myself.

Any consolation?


aquababie said...

so i take it yall aren't hooking up again if you're left so unfulfilled. if you see her again i think i'll have to slap ya!

Little Brown Girl said...


And I hope the shyt was good...Good and fukin TERRIBLE!!!

Knockout Zed said...

I can't stand the Ichabod Crane. I need head.


Knockout Zed said...

It was sufficiently horrible and sorta traumatic.

Good enough? *smooch*


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i i actually make a great muse zed, i come with high reccomendations, books have been dedicated me, songs written for and about me, as well as countless poems...the catch of course if that you do have to buy me things:-)

nikki said...

poor zeddie. dude ain't initiating the sex, ain't talking about the crazy broads...SHIT. what's WRONG with you?!?

what ever it is, SNAP THE FUCK OUTTA IT.

Little Brown Girl said...

Don't be kissin on me...I don't know where your mouth has been...on second thought I do and so now I definitely don't want you kissin on me LOL!!

aquababie said...

since you like head some much, i'm shipping you one of those things with the mouth that sucks. i have a friend that sex toys. i should be able to get one for a discunt...i mean discount! LOL

Robert L. Mack said...

Ok but that got you out of the slump though right? And baby girl was bangin????

LMAO off at "I tried like hell to be a two minute brother. I went 3 minutes over." She wrong for intiating but not giving head. Unless this was yall first time and I know females act like that sometimes. Don't know why, but they do.......

Nika Laqui said...

So who was it? How was it? "Was it everything you ever dreamed of?"...*lol*

Blah Blah Blah said...

My couch can barely hold my 5'5 ass....much less mine and someone else's
...and you said it just said it in the Zednanreh way...all muffled and whatnot...but I recognized that shit for what it was...but your message was as clear as mine to you!
...i only threaten you because of the reason you said in your email to me....*huge silly sigh*

ChezNiki said...

You and Blah need to get a room! With a couch!

Anyway, I was gonna congratulate you on your new arrival...but youre over there belly-aching like, "well I did it, but I didnt like it." I always thought sex for dudes was like pizza, some is better than others but none is bad. Oh well.

But I can say one thing for sure. Lack of sex drive doesnt come with age (Im older, so I can say). Lack of sex drive comes when you dont like the gurl/dude you are with.

Find a girl you like and break in that couch proper, Zed. We're all cyber-routing for you!

...or maybe like Aqua ovah theah are ready for real love

Chubby Chocolate said...

I feel you on the cloud. That's why I've been MIA.
Glad to read you FINALLY GOT A COUCH!!! But sex on the floor is quite nice...

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad
What happened yesterday? Write me!

I don't know, woman! It's like I really want some Apple Jacks, but I keep getting offered Fruit Loops. I'll take the Fruit Loops, but gotdamn, I'd really like some Apple Jacks!

Baby! Don't be like that! Baby! Baby?

You're funny! You know, you wouldn't believe what I got in the arsenal already for "male relief". I'll be OK

I don't even count that as a slump buster. I feel like I'm still in the slump.

It was just this long timer that I've been off and on with. Nothing new or major. I wanted to see her right up until she got here.

We gotta do some couch testing this weekend. I eschew your claims of "couch smallness"!!!

I'm a pretty base ass dude. I don't need shit to feel good about fucking. That's the part of this story that makes it a nightmare.

Blah is gonna get hers. She just don't know it yet. Divulging email contents and whatnot!

I wanted to hear a follow up on your hew-hew!!!! You can't leave for long stretches. I lose perspective when you're not around.