Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I'm A Little Off

I don't have shit to talk about, so I'll continue talking about nothing.

Stupid shit that makes me laugh and I can't explain why:

My boy Brundlefly's impression of Wilfred Brimley

Hood cats trying to say the word "ambulance"

Kids getting whupped

Garage sales

Commercials where age-old icons are made to be hip

My boy Hut's impression of Dorothy from the Golden Girls

That scene in O Brother Where Art Thou where George Clooney is getting his ass kicked

That old LL Cool J poster where he's trying to look hard in a TROOP jacket



"The Big Ragoo" (Carmine) from Laverne and Shirley.





My boy Three's impression of a chick coming home from the club.

Yossarian from Catch-22

Moe slapping the shit out of Shemp (for some reason only Shemp)

Burt Reynolds slapping the shit out of Dom DeLuise

The memory of my boy KRS breaking his foot while we were dancing with these girls freshman year

Dudes named Lonnie

The battle cry for old school Fruit Islands Cereal ("A-yumma-yumma")


One,
KZ

41 comments:

Honest said...

What makes me laugh?

Knockout Zed

aquababie said...

FIRST!!!!!

why are garage sales funny? i made $200 off my last one.

my favorite stooge is curly.

one of my favorite scenes in o brother where art thou is the "runn oft" scene.

my cousin were breaking it down to "apache" by the sugar hill gang last week. thta shit was down right hilarious!

aquababie said...

damn! well i was first wehen i started typing....

onefromphilly said...

Gangsta old folks. Ain't nothing funnier than old people threatening to kick ass.

Knockout Zed said...

@Honest
I'm glad my stupidity is a source of amusement for you. I'll try to be less unstupid in the future to keep you laughing.

@Aqua
Second ain't bad. Honest is kinda fast.

Garage sales are funny because people come up to them so serious about other people's discarded shit.

When Shemp is freshly coiffed and Moe slaps the shit out of him, his hair flies everywhere. That shit is hilarious.

How come everybody breaks it down when they hear Apache? That shit is universal.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@OneFrom
Irate old people in general will make me laugh out loud.

KZ

chele said...

Overheard in my office:

"Need some help? Want me to help a sister out?"

Picture the most straight-laced white dude at your job saying that shit to one of the most straight-laced white women.

I cannot explain why that was so funny to me.

Knockout Zed said...

@Chele
That shit would be funny as hell. I just pictured the guy (my boss) and the woman (our environmental specialist). That would be damn funny!

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@CG
I didn't pick Lonnie because it's soft (though it is). Lonnie just sounds like jive ass cat.

I don't know, I like Patrice O'Neal. Not his name, but his stand up act.

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

You left off:
I'm the Juggernaut Bitch!!!

LMAO

.......so what if your at work AFRICAN!!!!!!!!!!

Blah Blah Blah said...

.......and it's not like you have work to do....'cause you responding to every comment RIGHT after it's posted....

LMAO

Knockout Zed said...

@Blah
"I'mma beat you with your own pimp! I'm the Juggernaut bitch!"

KZ

aquababie said...

to me, lonnie is alright. it's not the most masculine name, but better than stacy or tracy...like someone said.

i went to school with a dude named allison. he went by his middle name of course :)

1InTheSame said...

What's funny to me is this "sista" at work who got caught by another co-worker getting smashed by this married cat..asking me what's up with me and another co-worker. I told that we have occasional "office" sex..couldnt help but laugh

1969 said...

are you referring to "ambalamps"?

Knockout Zed said...

@Aqua
His parents need their asses kicked. Seriously.

@1in
She wants company. It's lonely up there on the baloney pony.

@1969
The way I'm thinking is more "ammalans". The "b" is non-existent.

@Mack
They got chickenhead fights on YouTube? I gotta see those. They'd definitely make the list.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@All y'all
Does this surprise any of y'all?

Click here

1969 said...

I think the only person that didn't know he was gay was his mama.

The Stiltwalker said...

I always wanted to know how to spell "whupped"

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Chele: That shit is funny to me, too...LOL! I'm trying to picture it.

Kids falling make me laugh... I was sitting in my car at a light and this preteen boy was on his bike and he hit a crack in the sidewalk or something and BLAM! He was on the ground. I hurt my side laughing. He stood up, looked at me and screwed up his face. All I could do was throw my hands up in the wait gesture and continue to laugh.

1InTheSame said...

Lance Bass being gay is some funny shit...I am craking up on that one..Boy Band my ass

NegroPino™ said...

Old ppl with 50 Cent as their ringtones on their cell phones..or when they argue with their mate in public

Little Brown Girl said...

Papis Princess made me think of mine...

The asian lady who does my pedicures at the nail salon...her cellphone ringtone is Young Joc..."meet me in the club, it's going down" SON this is a 40+ asian woman. Hilarious!!!

Isha said...

I'm amused with all hood folk and mispronounced/missused words. Lawd, we can make up some stuff!

Fieut(Fruit)
Skrimps and all of it's versions (shrimp - NOT A PLURAL WORD)
Ressrant (Resturant)
Decrepted (Decrepit)
Feets/Foots (Feet)

and I love it when high falootin' hood folk try to use big words outta' context. COMEDY!

1969 said...

^
Robert Mack

That fight on YouTube is hilarious.

Mr.Slish said...

What makes me laugh? Cuba Gooding Jr trying to act hard in his recent straight to video movie.

Knockout Zed said...

@1969
Now, we wait for Justin's announcement.

@Stilts
The "h" is superfluous.

@Dynasty
Kids falling is classic shit. Actually most people falling and they don't get seriously hurt is pretty funny. I was at a stoplight and I saw this lady, about in her late 20's, crossing the street in a beautiful dress. She stepped up, missed the curb and fell flat on her face. She sat up and was full fledged crying. I pulled over to see if she was hurt. She said she was fine, but her feelings were hurt from embarrassment. I laugh whenever I think about it. I'm actually chuckling as I type.

@1In
He was gay the minute he signed up to be in a boy band. That exact minute.

@Papi's Princess
People arguing in public makes me miss my parents.

@RD
She couldn't have picked that herself. I don't believe that shit! One of her kids did that to her!

I think I need to go to a nail tech to get a pedicure. That way I can try to put my feet on you and gross you out when I see you.

@Isha
I grew up with a dude that used to say bre-ka-lass instead of breakfast. Hilarity, indeed!

The hood and big words don't mix.

@Mariposa
I'm allergic to skrawberries. Unless the tat is on your upper inner thigh.

Ride or die chick, hunh? O.K.

@1969
I gotta see that shit. I'll have to wait until I get home.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
Cuba Gooding Jr. period is pretty damn comical. They still pay this guy to act?

KZ

Organized Noise said...

Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise . . . damn, that brings back memories. Anyone got a copy of Cannonball Run?

Little Brown Girl said...

KZ you "BETTA DON'T"...LOL!!!

That would certainly be a horrible first impression.

Knockout Zed said...

@ON
Man, those outtakes at the end where Burt would slap Dom used to keep me folded! I don't understand the appeal of watching a grown man slap another grown man, but that shit's funny.

We need more Cannonball Run viewings!

@RD
I'm gon' have you lovin' feet by the time I'm through!

KZ

Rashan Jamal said...

Wilfred Brimley? That's classic.

Man, I need to go watch Cannonball Run. Dom Deluise was Burts bitch in them movies.

LL trying to look hard in a TROOP jacket... Is that the one with the panther? Cuz that one makes me laugh too. Actually the whole album makes me laugh.

ChezNiki said...

Ol white dudes in flip flops with tan lines around their ankles...white feet and tan legs...

...which reminds me. I gotta go sit on my terrace and make my legs darker so I wont be two-toned for the picnic...

Anyway make sure to come see my ladies response to "How Come You Aint Call Me" on my July 27th post.

Knockout Zed said...

@T. Cas
That dude had us believing that Wilfred Brimley was the hardest man on TV. He said he wanted to be like Wilfred when he got older. "Look at those kids, they need their oatmeal!"

I never really liked the LL persona. He was a decent MC, but he never talked about shit. The guy made me laugh in general.

@Chezniki
I'm three toned right now (don't ask!).

I responded to your ladies version. Very informative.

@Mack
You know them Chickenheads don't know no damn lawyers. They brought they cousins up to YouTube to fight.

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

....NEXT.....

Knockout Zed said...

@Blah
You know I'm blocked! Leave me alone!

aquababie said...

no juicy tidbits? i need something to read.

Knockout Zed said...

@Aqua
Honestly, ain't shit up. I'd probably be pushin' it to write something now. I'm bored as fuck.

KZ

aquababie said...

well i got a macbook yesterday. i've been fooling with it all day.

Sangindiva said...

What makes me laugh huh?

When people who's daddies bought their degree-
think they are HOT SHIT and SMART...
oh that ain't funny but it's true anyway... APRIL'S A DUMB BITCH!

oops... this is YOUR blog and we're talikin' about funny-

What's funny to me is 2 Drag Queens fightin'
now THAT is entertainment!!!

Did you read what I said about you on my blog?

i like liquor and tv said...

*scrolls through list*

*doesn't see my name*

*leaves*