Friday, July 28, 2006

I Really Don't Have Anything To Write About

I can write about these secretaries snitching on each other all day every day, but that's been said. I can talk about the vast network of House Africans in Satan's Anus, but that's not cool. I wish there was an easy meme out there to do just to fill the space, but I don't see an EASY one that I haven't already done. This is the shit all topical writers must face at some point. How do you not talk about the same shit ad nauseum? So...let's see what's going on in my life....

I bought a couch yesterday, so that's somethin', right? They'll be delivering it Saturday. So finally I'll be pretty well furnished. And starting today is the Black Arts Festival, which consists of around 3 booths, so hey, that's somethin', right? I'm supposed to go over for a short look at the facilities this afternoon with Auntie Anita. I'll take it in full fledged tomorrow after they deliver the couch.

And I'm preparing for NYC next weekend. I'm in that weird place I go to before I have to fly somewhere. I hate flying, so even short flights upset the hell out of me. I even considered the train at one point. 13 hours on a train or 2 hours on a plane? I'm nervous, but I guess not nervous enough to shit away 11 hours.

How come I'm not doing shit? Haven't done shit for a week, my boss asks me to go to this meeting this afternoon and I'm livid. I'm kinda like "How dare this muthafucka ask me to do anything?".

My assistant begged me for the opportunity to get some supervisory experience. He's around 50 and his only supervisory experience was about 30 years ago. So I decided to let him supervise the secretaries. He told HR that he wanted more money because he was going to be supervising. Guess what? I snatched the supervision duties and gave 'em back to the dude that had 'em. Now you gets no experience and no loot. Jackass.

That's about it.

Stay Dry (except when you're supposed to be wet),


i like liquor and tv said...

Why are most secretaries straight ghetto?

What kind of couch did you end up getting?

I got some sort of "trendy" couch with the chaise on one end of it and metal legs. It looks really stupid.

Anonymous said...

Hey - I'm a secretary!!!!

Following this statement is usually when my friend reminds me that I have a degree and was a secretary by choice while pursuing a book deal.

BUT still! All of them are not ghetto...just about 85 percent.

And even that small 15 who "ain't ghetto" really just takes the right crowd and enough liquor to pull it out (note: Cocoa's run-in with the Pruscuitto (highfalutin H.A.M.) coworker - a secretary!)

Knockout Zed said...

@L and TV
Ghetto is not limited to Black skin in this case. Believe me.

This is my couch.

Not fancy and cheap enough for me to continue eating.


Knockout Zed said...

I remember that Pruscuitto story!!! That shit was great!

Trust me when I say that I'm fighting a constant struggle each day with "Ghetto" Zed. They're trying to bring it out. They keep pushing me! When her comes out, every piece of paper they give me will be covered in BBQ sauce.


Blah Blah Blah said...


Knockout Zed said...

No it's not!


i like liquor and tv said...

True...not all, just the majority. And true, they are not all brown. Our secretary is white and she's never there. She started wilding out right after her husband died.

Nice couch.

Ms. Confessions said...

Why are secretaries so damn messy and nosey?

And I suppose the airline industry just straight don’t give a damn anymore. We’ll treat you like shit, you’ll always have a need to fly.

Congrats on the couch!

Robert L. Mack said...

I'm going thru the same thing...the last 2 entries I've had were just going with no direction, then I made it make sense....

Congrats on the couch, so is Carmel going to break it in for you?

Knockout Zed said...

@L and TV
We got a secretary here that's 62. She was married for 31 years and got a divorce when she was 50. That's when she entered the workforce. She's rightfully very anxious about retirement approaching with only a relative few years of work experience. Hell, she and I have the same amount and I'm 35. Anyway, she snipes at everyone constantly because of this frustration hanging over her head. And she's at the RECEPTION DESK. WTF?

The airlines are a mess. And I also gotta think about my 2 exes that are flight attendants who might be working this flight. It might get interesting. Thank you for the congrats and thanks for stopping by!

Man, if everybody on this piece lets me forget about Carmel, you won't! I wish I could send you a pic so you could see what I was working with. It's hard not to call.


Knockout Zed said...

@All y'all
I was looking online for something to hold my album collection (yes, vinyl albums!) and I came across this. Is this an omen?

Rashan Jamal said...

I think its an epidemic going around in blogland. Everybody running out of stuff to say.

That was a straight gangsta move you pulled on the assistant. I bet he'll think twice before trying that ish again.

chele said...

I like the contemporary casual couch. Serves the purpose.

And while this wasn't interesting it did help me waste about 5 minutes before lunch. said...

Dang! You was cool as hell to give dude the oppritunity! I would have taken it and run with maybe after 3 months of excelling I would be inquiring about a raise! LOL!

Honest said...

There must be a full moon out there because mofos are really acting crazy. Don't they realize that the process is to screw you over so you do the new additional work without any additional loot until you've proven yourself?

Congrats on the new couch. Ain't nothing like new furniture to make you feel at home :-)

Little Brown Girl said...

LMAO!!! Your funny even when you're not trying to be.

Awwwww don't worry about the flight to NYC...i'll be at the other end (at least that should make you feel better about being in the air for 2 hours) LOL!!

Enjoy the weekend!

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Wow the African got a couch!!!

And WTH is that Zed box... It's NOT a sign. Smoke some cloves and gimme a call before the flight so I can have you laffin, *cthu*... You'll be just fine. ;-)

Smmfh @ the office cat, what an idiot. SUPERVISE DEEEEZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!

Prophetess said...

Was he being officially promoted to Supervisor of the Squawkers? or just being "given" the job and duties?

Was it legal to retract a job assignment when/because the employee asked for more money?

Knockout Zed said...

@T Cas
That "nothing to say" stuff is a sign we all blog too much!

Ol' dude is funny. He was offered the opportunity to interview for my job, a $25,000 bump for him, but refused unless he was given less to do. I got the job and everything I don't want to do, I make him do it. He's an idiot.

We all know what purpose that couch will serve, don't we?

I'm glad you got a little escapism for 5 minutes.

@Mrs. TJ
You see? You see how that works? He was too stupid to become inexpendable (sp?) and then ask for the raise. Asshole!

I don't think I can ever feel at home here. But at least it's somewhere to sit for my imaginary guests.

See? That's what I need! That incentive for being calm as I fly. I'll be thinking about touching you with my freshly pedicured feet.

I'll be calling you soon. We need to get some legislation changed in your state to make smoking a lot easier for you!


Knockout Zed said...

He was going to be permanently reassigned. The only reason I was giving it to him was because he said he wanted an opportunity to supervise.

Because he's a non-union person and the secretaries are in the union, there is no pay increase associated with their supervision. That is a matter of policy in our city government. When he asked for more money (exactly one week after I got him a pay increase), I deemed his attitude not suitably ready for supervision. So I'm pretty much like fuck him.


Prophetess said...

Okay, baby. I got it. I see whatcha saying.

You know, I was "writing" to you this morning, but you aint even went to the "mailbox"...

ChezNiki said...

Ooooh Aaaah MicroFiber! Make sure to know just in case...LOL

My baby sister went to Oberlin, and my mother doesnt (wont) fly. Thirteen hours on the train! If Im on something for thirteen hours, I better be in Europe when I get off...or married...

Have a safe flight, Boo. See you next week!

Knockout Zed said...

I just got your message. I responded somewhat.

I was just looking for Scotchgard online. I look for shit online for the fuck of it.

I'll see you next week in the Apple.


onefromphilly said...

I don't mind flying, but I noticed that after 3 hours I start getting really restless. It took me a while to realize that I'm mildly claustrophobic. I always sit in the aisle seat, it helps to look up and down the aisle and pretend there is somewhere to go. Another alternative: get liquored up before you get on the plane. It will make the flight seem alot shorter. My girlfriend takes some kind of anti-anxiety drug, it's prescription strength so ask your Dr. Fly happy!!

Knockout Zed said...

I think the liquor might not be a good alternative at 8:30 am, so I'll look into getting medicated. Thanks for the heads up.


Nika Laqui said...

Hey if you want to do a meme, I posted one today, I thought of tagging you, cause the last few days, you've been on a drought...

YAAAH, you got a couch...


Sorry had to say that...*lol*

Nika Laqui said...

Nice sofa....

Nika Laqui said...

I wanna see the Caramel pics...I'm nosey...

Disco said...

#1. Couch: it....and it'll hide pussy juice

#2. I am dying at the Zed Box! LOL

(actually I NEED one of those.....)

Knockout Zed said...

I'll do the meme. I needed that!

If I can get some "decent" flicks, I'll let you see her too.

You used to have the sweetest couch in the fuckin' world. You still got it?

That's funny, I'm sure I could use a Robyn Box. hehehe


Prophetess said...

You see how that snake slithers? Just that quick, trying to double dip.

Boy, "they" aint no damn good, are they? No earthly good whatsoever.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

now that you have a couch and a table, we can have a proper visit.

i'll bring my own boones farm, don't worry!

aquababie said...

i like that couch...good for snuggling :)

i don't mind flying. i flew to las vegas last year. i had a blas.

mercury is in retrograde until today. shit's been fucked up all month. expressions and interactions with folk have been crazy.

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

I like your signature...LoL!

Disco said...


And yes I still have that dayum couch! I REFUUUUUSE to give it up!!! It's in the basement!!! LOL

I STILL curse the fact that my DUMB-ASS didn't get the matching chair when it was on clearance!!! ***SIGH***

The Robyn Box is always at the house! LOL

blue butterfli said...




Congrats on FINALLY gettin' a damn couch!! (LMAO) Happy Friday and that closing statement... well, nevermind.

Ride Or Die Chick

TTD said...

how are you gonna ask for more responsibilty & then go to HR and say "I need more money b/c I'm a supervisor now" he shoulda waited for a promotion instead of bothering you b/c w/ a promotion comes more $$$$...

Isha said...

For a day that you had absolutely nothing to talk about, you got a lot of activity goin' on...just speaks to your loyal and loving blog family.

May be better than having a real one...We don't ask to borrow money!

Well congrats on the couch...the word is not "secretary" any more, it's office assistance or professional assistant. Have to be PC, and can you get that guy to come negotiate my raise for me? I'll give him 10% of the first check.

oronde ash said...

what you be doing in the nyc?

Knockout Zed said...

He's not slick. He's expendable and will be treated as such.

@Miss Ahmad
Damn! I haven't had Boone's Farm since the Great 40 Boycott of '91!

I got to "break in" the couch a little this weekend. It works!

Quite apropriate in stormy weather, right? *wink*

It's a shame the great majestic couch is relegated to the basement. I used to call that the "Coach Couch". Beautiful.

That closing statement was specifically for you!

I no longer suspect he's an idiot. It's been confirmed.

I know better than to use the word "secretary" actually. But the group we have garner no such respect. They are horrible. I've written about them a lot. The reason I deal with them so much is because they refuse to recognize the chain of command. They annoy me to no end!

That blogger Slish is having a BBQ this weekend. That's actually my main purpose for going. That and meeting pretty NYC bloggettes. I'm trying to make other plans to round out the trip.


1969 said...

Congrats on the Couch Zed!!!