Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Zagora

a.k.a. The Loose Ends post

Louganis

If this cat ain't gay, he's doing a helluva impersonation. When I was going to the shower one day, he was at the sink shaving. Shaving. What man hangs around a fuckin' locker room to shave? I don't know one. Dudes just don't like the proximity of other naked dudes that much to stand around and shave. He left with this white dude and he was wearing a pair of these:

I bullshit you not.

On Monday I was in the locker room going to the shower. I walk past the steam room and this bitch is laying down on the wooden bench, stretched out with most of his body exposed, a little part of the towel covering his genitalia, like a pin up hoe. He ought not speak to me.


Meli Mel, the Furious One

So Tuesday, ol' dude finally showed up at her crib. She wanted some face-to-face interaction. She starts cussin' him out, because she's from Detroit and that's what they do. Read him the riot act. He told her he meant to do it. He didn't care that she saw who he sent it to. Anyway, ol' boy said "I don't know why you called them other chicks. But that's OK though. Two of 'em love me even more now. So I'm still gettin' mine."

I asked her afterwards, "What did you think would happen. I mean, dude is arrogant. Wasn't this expected?"

She told me yeah, actually it was expected. "I just needed to cuss his bitch ass out face to face. I knew he wasn't shit! I called him a bitch a bunch of times right to his face and he just waved it off. An African from Detroit woulda kicked my ass. Fuckin' Omaha African!" And that was that. I guess.

LoLo

OK, after I told her I wasn't feeling her and all we could be is friends, LoLo kept calling. Now the agenda is different. It's career advice. She's about to start Law School and she's continuing to work so she wants to talk about the balance. LoLo is interviewing for a new gig and is using me as a reference. So she's got an excuse to call. Then, a couple of nights ago, there it was again.

Lo: When are you coming back to Detroit?
KZ: I don't know. Spring maybe.
Lo: Spring? Spring? You're scared to come to Detroit, aren't you?
KZ: Why would I be scared of Detroit?
Lo: You're scared of me. Scared Imma put it on ya.
KZ: Ummmm, no. I don't have any reason to think that. We clarified that, didn't we?
Lo: African, I ain't tryin' to marry you. I'm trying to fuck you. You scared of pussy?

And there you have it. Question an African's manhood and he's gotta prove you wrong, right?

KZ: I'm scared of the cost of pussy, that's what I'm scared of.

Be Easy,
KZ


23 comments:

aquababie said...

on louganis: yep he's flaming! i love my crocs, but the descriptions of this cat in the steam room is enough.

on mel: she's young. she'll learn.

on lolo: stay away. she sounds a like loopy :)

onefromphilly said...

You're right, don't even speak to Louganis. That gay boy is sending out a broadband signal to all in the area "come see what's under these speedos" LMAO

Tell LoLo that you'll buy her a dildo and some Energizer batteries if she promises to leave you alone!

Blah Blah Blah said...

Your lil knuckle-headed friend is YOUNG!! You should be giving her better advice because if that wasn't a bitch move I own't know what was. Fuck dude...either she gave him some and her feeling were hurt or she's playing herself...then again...either way...she done played herself.

LoLo...fuck her already damn! Get that fucking loopy monkey off your back... tell her to bring her LoLo ass to the Anus and lick the shit out of it!! If she ask to stay...tell her no...but you got $5 on a motel 6 room for her.

BZ said...

I hate those f*cking rubber clogs! They are ugly. And how in the hell can rubber clogs be remotely comfortable, anyway? Ugh! And yeah, he's gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. LOL

And, as far as Mel: whatever. Somehow, I think dude would have been affected a little more had she just plain cut him off, rather than cussing him out. Because actions speak louder than words.

LoLo: stay away. You are right to fear the price of pussy. And, with as persistent as she seems to be, it appears the cost would be immense. Go get some no-strings pussy. It sounds like you need it! :-P

DivineLavender said...

Pussy should never cost....isn't pussy an experience?

She sounds like Nightmare On Pussy Street if you ask me.

Zed...Knock Her Out, Man...Change a number.

All the best to ya.

1969 said...

You cant stop the rain...when it starts to fall.......

Put your lovin arms, around me boy and hold me like I was a cuddly toy...

I LOVE THAT DAMN CD!

Louganis: Naked in Crocs? Yup, Brokeback.

Mel: I told you when you last posted....she played herself. Calling the guy to still come over after finding out he's cheating? Calling the other women to put him on blast when he already knows you are sweating him? PLAYED, PLAYED, PLAYED.

LoLO: Women trying to trick or bully someone into having sex with them = CRAZY. Run ZED Run

ChezNiki said...

On Loug-Hey! I thought you said you didnt go to the gym?!?! That your legs came like that naturally (smile)...Anyway, after all this trouble at the gym, maybe you need to buy a bowflex or rep with some dumb bells (like LoLo) at home.

On Mel-Yeah, Im with BZ. That cuss out sh*t doesnt work...attention is attention, is attention. She needs to cut him off all together, that will hurt worse than anything she can think to say.

On LoLo-Sounds like she's gonna be boiling your pet rabbit soon, talking about, "I will not be ignored, Zed!!!" like Glenn Close...

...well like the old man on Hill Street Blues used to say, "Be careful out there!" although something tells me you like all the drama...attention is attention is...

mrs.tj said...

Dayum! Did you just not sum up a life story or what?!?!? "Scared of the cost of pussy" Africans know about inflation too!
LOL!
Holla!

Angel said...

i hate those damn sandpail shoes! i dont give a damn who's wearing them or what "mouth-watering fruit flavor" they're sold in! ugh!

as far as the arrogant dude, hell yeah he wasnt phased by meli mel. especially if his spot wasnt blown up because of it. i was having a similar conversation with a friend last night about every woman going through the "you'z a dumb bitch" point in their lives. i know it's not personal. nor is it meant to be overly humiliating or degrading. but it just seems like only AFTER you've had MORE THAN TWO of those moments, do you see "the light..."

as far as "lo squared," she wants the dwyck boo. obviously there is something that continues to draw her to you the more you deny her advances. i'll be honest with you, there are plenty of us (both men and women) that are turned on more when someone tells us "no," than when they tell us "yes..."

just my three copper pennies! :-)

Rashan Jamal said...

Yeah, Louganis is displaying mad gayness.

Mel is young and that's what most young people do. Omaha African should have just charged that one to the game and found some new women to play.

Career Advice??? I know you didn't beleive that one. LoLo knows the game, you right, most *Africans* would have to prove that he aint scared.

Anonymous said...

I would pay to have seen that dude walking out of a men's locker room in those clogs!! HILARIOUS

Mel was feeling ole boy...she liked his arrogance...I don't care what she said. She wouldn't have called him over otherwise. She ain't fooling nobody. I bet you she is hoping that he'll call her again...I bet you!

You need to let Lo loose. Where do you meet these chicks?

**I can't believe I can actually post a comment**

Isha said...

Hey Z.

Don't really have comments cause I really did not read the post (sorry, but true). Been busy as hell and miss the blog world. Stopped by for a quick sec and wanted to say Hi...*Hi Zed*
Isha

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

Lolo sounds like my kinda girl!

Little Brown Girl said...

LoLo is one dumb harlett. *shrug* Oh well, some women just like to be treated like shyt. And if you fuked her after all this she'd think she actually got over on you.

As for the shoes...perhaps dude is a doctor...they wear those shoes in the ER. Plus doc's are use to being in situations where they shower around other men and what not so he might just be immune to it now.

Knockout Zed said...

@Aquababie
I got you on all three accounts.

@OneFrom
LoLo is quite delusional. Plain talk didn't do shit.

@Blah
She says she knows she played herself, she just got some emotional satisfaction from yelling at him. Whateva man. (Sorry Meli, I know you're reading this)

I ain't touchin' LoLo. I really don't know what she's thinking.

@BZ
LoLo's trying to concoct a super couple. I decline.

@DL
Pussy ALWAYS costs, everytime. Dudes might try to gloss over the cost, but it always does. It's worth whatever you're willing to pay: dates, gifts, public displays of affection, etc. Free pussy is a myth.

@Sixy
Loose Ends was the shit altogether, the best in Black British soul.

Louganis is more than gay.

Meli fucked up.

LoLo actually asked me if I was scared of pussy. That was a life altering moment, because I'm just dumb enough to say "I'll show you who's scared!" and drive to the D to hit. I didn't, which really surprised me.

@Chezniki
My legs ARE natural. They've been the same since before I ever picked up a weight, since I was a kid. If I had a natural washboard instead of defined legs, I could probably skip the gym.

LoLo betta stay away from my rabbit.

You might have a point about the attention though. Attention is attention, until a chick questions your manhood.

@Mrs. TJ
Like that documentary on Walmart, The High Cost of Low Prices, there's a high cost to "free" pussy. And that inflation could occur in the birth canal!

@FA
Regarding LoLo, when I ignored her advances, she got turned on. When I directly addressed them and told her "no" she got turned on. Maybe I can fuck her, disappoint her, and live in peace. Ya think?

@T Cas
The problem with LoLo is she knows my dating rep. She knows it's hard for me to turn down the goods from a banger, so she wants her shot.

Though I knew her intentions were shady, I was actually giving her real advice on some shit since we're in the same field and she was using the conversations as a jumping off point to bone. If she wasn't so goofy, she coulda used the advice, moved on, and found that dude she's looking for 'cuz I ain't him.

@TS
Arrogance is some potent shit when it's mixed with actual achievement.

I met LoLo where I've met every nutty woman I know: Detroit, MI!!!

@Isha
Heeeeyyyyyy Isha!!!

@Miss Ahmad
No she doesn't! Stop lyin'!

@RD
LoLo is woefully misguided. Woefully!

He could be a doctor. More than likely a protologist. With a strictly male clientele. And he lets them examine him first. With their penises.

KZ

Honest said...

Why are nursing shoes in rainbow colors so popular now? What did I miss?

The Dog of Freetown said...

Rub em under the chin, that's a great way to win the little fellas round.

iron said...

LOL! Dude is definitely a gayola wearin' those kicks! I saw a chick wearin' them at my dojo last night and I was like "aren't those nurse's shoes? shouldn't you be in scrubs or something?" to me those shoes are the equivelent to those jellies from back in the day.

Knockout Zed said...

@Honest
We got a couple of hospitals in close proximity to downtown, so I was used to seein' 'em on nurses and whatnot. Female nurses, that is. These things just skyrocketed in popularity.

@Kieran
I don't wanna win 'em round!

@Ironmunki
Exactly! Those things remind me of jellies! There was a dude on my block that wore jellies when I was a teen. He also wore Daisy Dukes and mascara. No joke.

KZ

Robert L. Mack said...

louganis is going to be asking you to shave his coin purse LOL!!! (family guy reference)

I'm willing to bet that Meli Mel give this dude another chance....chicks like arrogant dudes...watch and see...

The cost of LOLO's pussy might be too "expensive"....leave that on the shelf for another "buyer"...

Anonymous said...

KZ: I'm scared of the cost of pussy, that's what I'm scared of

Good answer. Shit's expensive.

Regarding the locker room: I feel the same way about women. I went to Vegas in January and went to the spa at Mandalay Bay. I was shocked and horrified to find the common area (pool/steam room, etc.) filled with naked, flabby, white flesh. I still have nightmares.

Knockout Zed said...

@Mack
That's that Stewie shit!

If Meli gives him another chance, she'll be too embarrassed to tell me.

If I hit that, you might as well start planning the baby shower. That's the type of shit she's on.

@Chele
I will never be comfortable being naked in front of a dude. I played football, ran cross country, and played tennis in high school, so I've been in locker room situations a lot and for a long time. Never have I known a dude to get that comfortable in a room full of naked dudes. It's not natural.

KZ

EqualOpportunityCrush said...

one of these days you're going to fall HARD Zed. Just keep your eyes open and look past the package bitches present themselves in when you first meet them. LoLo is desperate, block her ass. Being 25 is not an excuse for being dumb and playing yourself. I can't be mad at Omaha dude, your girl Mel was an easy target.

Louganis is entertaining. I look forward to reading about future encounters with him. :oP