Friday, December 08, 2006

Mathematics

By the next time I post, I will have had a birthday. I'll be ending my 36th trip around the sun. I know what you're saying, aside from "gotdamn, you gettin' up there!". You're saying "who gives a fuck?". I completely understand. Fuck your birthday, too! Allow me a moment to ride my own dick, won't you?

On 12/10/1970 in Detroit, Michigan, Marilyn Zednanreh gave birth to a beast. A muthafuckin' animal with a voracious appetite and an unquenchable thirst for knowing the trivial. Improperly instructed and miseducated completely, he ambled his way to a party school and graduated at the bottom of his class, after seven years with only a bachelor's degree. He went on to wallow in the troughs of inadequacy until he became the man you see before you today, King of the Molehill, Mister Mediocrity.

On Sunday, I will be at the age where if I had a child on the day I legally became an adult, that child now would be an adult. That's grown fa real.

18x2=36. Until you're at least 36, I'm twice the man you are! (I'm just fuckin' wit' ya, Mack).

In other math related news, what's one big Black man times (in parentheses) one frightened white woman, plus one all white management staff divided by one big Black man? Give up? Well the math heads know that the two big Black men cancel each other out, so all we have left is fear and power. Feel me? Long story short, this cat is fucked. Sorry, Fuck-o, I tried.

Bloggers plus goodwill divided by lies = Current fucked up situation.

Stay True,
KZ

30 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

Great post...and I ain't saying Happy Birthday...'cause ummm, it's Sunday and well Sunday...

...you'll see.

Journey said...

Dang... from the Aquarius set: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Sagg. We'll celebrate with you all damn year long! :-) Name the continent, whuh?

(Sorry, I'm nosey. Found my way here via Mr. Slish)

Mz.TiredofBS!!! said...

Happy Early Birthday! I come here everyday to get a good laugh. Thanks.

aquababie said...

well i'm gonna say it because i'll forget by sunday: happy bornday in advance :)

chele said...

Happy almost b-day. My brother's b-day is tommorrow. I know, who gives a fuck, right?

Anyway, this was a good one.

Miz JJ said...

Happy pre-Birthday to you. Hope you are getting out of the Anus for the big day.

Lol @ the math. Why do people send stupid emails. I have gotten enough people in trouble by simply printing off their rantings and placing them in the appropriate in box. When I want to threaten someone at work I do it in person.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

yippee kay yay Zed and a hippabirdie to you!

may each day out shine the last, may prosperity meet and greet you at the door and abundance be your shadow, may you know peace abound and drink with no hangovers!

The Stiltwalker said...

Happy Birthday. You'll have to stop by for your gift...

The Brown Blogger said...

Word life kid,

Tipping a drink in your direction.

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Your math was on point. I wonder how long we'll continue to feel the wrath from such a fucked up situation.

Happy Early Birthday! Just in case I don't get on the internet Sunday. I do have a life...a real one.

NegroPino™ said...

Happy Friggin BIrthday MoFO!!!!!

onefromphilly said...

I sincerely hope you have a very Happy Birthday!!

Disco said...

Not the bloggers plus goodwill divided by lies....

THAT whole shit is FA-LARIOUS!!! LOL

As the blogger turns....

Disco said...

Oh yeah, and yeah....come one a join me towards that downward spiral toward's your "40's"..... I've been lonely...it'll be nice to have some company on this trip! LOL

HAPPY PRE BIRTHDAY Me. Zednanreh!!!

Love ya!
R.

Dee said...

um, happy birthday okay?

ChezNiki said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Be sure to celebrate all weekend and have one for me (one drank, one orgasm, one shopping spree, doesnt matter)

DO NOT cut your hair...
:-{
and do not get back on this blog early next week talking about you had drunken sex with Carmel or something...
Enjoy yourself fully! And that's an order!

Smootches and Smacks

Knockout Zed said...

Hey y'all, I had to edit the post a little. It's the ending NOT the beginning of my 36th trip around the earth. Though I'll be turning 36, that marks the end of my 36th trip. With that said...
@Blah
I'll let you wait until Sunday.

@Journey
Welcome, first timer! Thank you!

@Mz Tired
Dang, two first timers! Thank you and quit lurking. You gotta comment now.

@Aqua
Thanks, mama.

@Chele
I care! Tell your brother happy birthday.

@MizJJ
He was trying to be Mister Big Nuts by sending that email. It's nutcracker time.

@Miss Ahmad
That's a pretty heady wish mama. Seeing as I'll be in New Orleans for my birthday, I hope that hangover wish comes true.

@Stilts
Just toss it in my mouth.

@Hassan
Cheers!

@Dynasty
I hope they don't fuck him over too, too bad.

I don't really have a life, but I doubt that I'll be online anyway. If it wasn't for Satan's Anus, I'd never have a blog.

@IllNaNa
Don't you wanna put whipped cream on something and give it to me?

@OneFrom
Thanks, ma. I'mma try.

@Robyn
That shit is deeeeeeeppppppp!

I join you on that trip to 40. We'll be there soon enough.

@GC
LOL! I'll try.

@Chez
When I come back from N.O. I'll have at least one of each. And yes, I'll have my hair for at least another week.

KZ

Angel said...

wishing you nothing but blessings and positive energy on your next rotation around the sun!

LMAO at: "Bloggers plus goodwill divided by lies = Current fucked up situation." because DAMN if it aint made for some HEE-LARRY-YUS posts and comments!

La Diva Latina said...

Happy Birthday to you!!!
36/37 ain't old unless you are...age seriously is only a number..if ya feel it, then you'll be it. Being mature does not =being old..
Hope you have a good one.
Cheers!

Mr.Slish said...

Man I wish you were in Nyc for your B-day...Ha!!! The kind of trouble the slasher would get you into...

Make sure you close some deals this weekend and you know what i'm talking about....

1969 said...

Enjoy your 36th trip around the son Zed!

NegroPino™ said...

Have u ever seen a whip cream bikin before?

Robert L. Mack said...

I see you getting a tad older and a tad wiser this weekend. As a matter of fact there will be some brain food on the menu.......

BKBajan said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLE BOY, LIVE, LOVE LEARN AND BUS A NUT!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

where should i have the big butt midget strippers show up?

Isha said...

Big birthday wishes!
Isha

i like liquor and tv said...

Happy birthday son. I needed an excuse to drink today and thanks to you, I can now get drunk with a good excuse. I mean I was already drunk and all, but still...

SynSational said...

Just stoppin thru to wish you a Happy Birthday!

Nika Laqui said...

I love how you kicked yo mathematics..

Nika Laqui said...

Happy OLD ASS birthday...lol