Friday, May 25, 2007

If I Have To Suffer...

so the fuck do you. It's 4:00 on Friday afternoon before a holiday and I'm in charge. The boss dipped on my ass and now instead of sneaking out, I have to leave at 5:00. So now I'm making lists! Now, muthafuckas...

If It Wasn't For Her Pussy, She Wouldn't Even Be A Woman
  1. Keira Knightley
  2. Joan Rivers
  3. Liza Minelli
  4. Jodie Foster
  5. Ben Wallace
Saying This Might Get You Punched In The Mouth
  1. Vis a Vis
  2. cakewalk
  3. What's the magic word?
  4. heretofore
  5. boondoggle/humdinger (tie)
Words To Describe Cake or Potential Names For Cutting Edge Clothing Lines
  1. Moist
  2. Creamy
  3. Exquisite
  4. Heavenly
  5. Obscenely Decadent
Jack Palance's Favorite Grandchildren
  1. Molly
  2. Franklin
  3. Menachem
  4. Elohim
  5. Eleanor/Jack III (tie)
Rachel Ray's Favorite Things To Say While Climaxing
  1. Delish!
  2. E-V-oh oh oh my God!
  3. (insert audio of uncomfortable, irritating, inappropriate laughter)
  4. Baste it! Baste it, you motherfucker!
  5. Cum-o!
Yeah, I'm bored. I'll talk to y'all later.

Peace,
KZ

17 comments:

The Brown Blogger said...

I felt that one.

Ben Wallace?

Damn, homie.

Talk to ya Tuesday.

La Diva Latina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
DivineLavender said...

Cum-o!


Classic!

proacTiff said...

Fucking hilarious! I guess Emeril's sexual exclamation would be, "Bam!"

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

heretofore is actually one of my favorite words...

i guess that's the end of us!

Stay Stellar and when you can
Be Grand!

i like liquor and tv said...

Sup KZ!
Son, you ain't up on them new Moist overalls?

lol@Cum-O. Too funny.

lol@Ben Wallace. Tell em why you mad. That's ok he got it IN DE FACE during the last round.

Chubby Chocolate said...

What's wrong with Ben Wallace? For reasons I can't explain, I actually find him quite sexy...He look like he'd make nice sex faces.

THE ZEDSTER!!! Been too long. Good luck on the job hunt. Look @ some stuff in the Bay Area!!

Miz JJ said...

Lol @ Chubby Chocolate. Ben Wallace does look kinda sexy.

Jazzy said...

lmao@ e-v-oh-oh-my god @ cum-o!

1969 said...

EVO-Oh-Oh My God....that is a winner. LMAO!!!!!

This may be one of my favorite's.

Knockout Zed said...

@BB
Hassan, I used to love Big Ben, but that cat's a coach killer.

@DL
I think it's accurate.

@Tiff
Only when he's hitting it from the back.

@Miss Ahmad
Stay stellar? Me? Seriously?

@L and TV
Ben Wallace ruined a great team. Fuckin' ruined it. And now we have to go in undermanned to the Finals. Fuckin' asshole.

@CC
He can be as sexy as he wants to be to y'all, but he's a whining bitch of a ballplayer.

@Miz JJ
Refer to the CC comment, dammit!!!

@OD
Seems accurate, no?

@Sixy
I used to think Rachel Ray was hot shit. Now, she couldn't be more asexual. I don't get why I had sexual thoughts about her. That's why that was funny to me.

KZ

Anonymous said...

That Rachael Ray list was funny as hell. Say what you want, though ... I love her.

Knockout Zed said...

@Chele
I distrust the preturnaturally perky.

KZ

She Her Me said...

hahahaha...
Rachel Rae... E-V-O-O. She really does wear out that acronym doesn't she?
Too hilarious!!

1969 said...

Zeddie...you liked her cause she was cooking. LOL

She used to be real down to earth and now she gets on my nerves too. The forced perkiness....

DivineLavender said...

Zed, "A Coach Killer".

I am not into sports but that can't be good.....


I mean I can understand being a ROACH killer...but to be a Coach Killer...that has to be Wrong in all 50 states!


LMFAO!

Anonymous said...

LMAO I don't care how late I am responding, this *ish here is hilarious. You and bored are a great combination...well at least for those of us reading your stuff.