Hey y'all, what's good? Today I'd like to talk about springtime. The essence of springtime. Flowers, birds, sunlight, green grass, new pussy. That's what springtime means to me, the opportunity to mack.
So I'm on the phone with Carmel, right? Bullshit little conversation, kids in the background and shit. I was thinking this shit is a little hectic. I don't know if I wanna keep going down this road. Then she asks me a question. "This is a little personal. You won't mind?" "Naw, go ahead." "What do you do for sexual gratification?" I chuckled. Unbeknownst to her, I had just pulled one off before I got on the phone with her. "Nuttin', I mean, shit, nuttin'." She laughed. "Tell the truth." I exhaled. "I jack off, beat off, masterbate. That's what I do." "Really?" "Yeah, really."
This is where it gets good. She asks "Are you sexually attracted to me?" WTF? "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am." This was a funny question to me. You'd have to see her to know what I was talking about. "You didn't think I was?" I continued. "Well, you were just so blaise when you where over here Saturday night. I didn't think you were attracted to me like that." And that's where I fucked up.
Carmel is bangin' and quite frankly a little more hood than I normally deal with. I like that edge though. My strategy remains simple: Be a gentleman with a 'hood chick, be a dog with a "cultured" chick and the world beats a path to your door. Foolishly, I didn't adjust on the fly. A woman, alone, kids gone for a short period of time, invites you back to the house and is getting lit on wine? I'm a pretty stupid "African".
"What are you doing this weekend?" she asks. Fuck. "I'm going to Detroit. Frat business." It's a lie. I'm importing pussy, vintage 1970 from the fertile pussy-growing regions of Detroit. "The kids will be with their father again this weekend. I'm going to my girl's birthday party. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me." Damn. There is no way I was getting out of that weekend without Carmel on my chin. "Are you staying the whole weekend?" she asked. "Uh, yep."
There you have it. Your boy, Knockout Zed fumbling on the one yard line (that's a football analogy for Robyn!).
So I'm on the phone with Carmel, right? Bullshit little conversation, kids in the background and shit. I was thinking this shit is a little hectic. I don't know if I wanna keep going down this road. Then she asks me a question. "This is a little personal. You won't mind?" "Naw, go ahead." "What do you do for sexual gratification?" I chuckled. Unbeknownst to her, I had just pulled one off before I got on the phone with her. "Nuttin', I mean, shit, nuttin'." She laughed. "Tell the truth." I exhaled. "I jack off, beat off, masterbate. That's what I do." "Really?" "Yeah, really."
This is where it gets good. She asks "Are you sexually attracted to me?" WTF? "Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am." This was a funny question to me. You'd have to see her to know what I was talking about. "You didn't think I was?" I continued. "Well, you were just so blaise when you where over here Saturday night. I didn't think you were attracted to me like that." And that's where I fucked up.
Carmel is bangin' and quite frankly a little more hood than I normally deal with. I like that edge though. My strategy remains simple: Be a gentleman with a 'hood chick, be a dog with a "cultured" chick and the world beats a path to your door. Foolishly, I didn't adjust on the fly. A woman, alone, kids gone for a short period of time, invites you back to the house and is getting lit on wine? I'm a pretty stupid "African".
"What are you doing this weekend?" she asks. Fuck. "I'm going to Detroit. Frat business." It's a lie. I'm importing pussy, vintage 1970 from the fertile pussy-growing regions of Detroit. "The kids will be with their father again this weekend. I'm going to my girl's birthday party. I was going to ask you if you wanted to come with me." Damn. There is no way I was getting out of that weekend without Carmel on my chin. "Are you staying the whole weekend?" she asked. "Uh, yep."
There you have it. Your boy, Knockout Zed fumbling on the one yard line (that's a football analogy for Robyn!).
Be easy,
KZ
16 comments:
I'm sure you'll recover from the fumble. Don't beat yourself up for being a gentlemen. She'll be there when you get back.
Wow that's interesting:
"Be a gentleman with a 'hood chick, be a dog with a "cultured" chick and the world beats a path to your door."
I'm inclined to believe that's a strategy for a lot of men.. Hood women are used to the bad boys and "cultured" women are used to the good guys but secretly/openly love a bad boy.
I'mma fuck you up when I come to S.A.....SON!
Just make sure the 1970 import and you don't go out-n-about in SA....might run into Carmel and be out that Carmel drip slowly making it's way down your lip to your chin....
Matter of facto, aw hell...never mind...you'll learn one day....*huge sigh*
....by the way...
I'M THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!!!
@Chele
One can only hope.
@Honest
We all use gimmicks when we're young, strategy when we're old. When I was young I was the ghetto deep cat. Now, I'm the intellimack.
@Shazamy
Oh no you didn't! I'm the Juggernaut, bitch! Where's my pimp cane?
KZ
@InsanelySane
A lady that's in between has got to see both sides of you, the raw dog and the gentleman. She's respect the gentleman more if she knows the dog is in there waiting to come out.
I'm really more or less just out for pussy, so I guess I'm a dog. I'm trying to get my whole face wet, juice drippin' down my chin.
The gentleman is the "act".
KZ
Haha...The older we get the slower we get bruh. Its okay I won't revoke yo playa card.
NOW!!!! Work some shit out for this weekend. Work that 1970 import like the ironman we all hope that you are. Put her ass to sleep then sneak out drive to that party where Caramel will be doing her version of the beyonce booty dance. Bring her outside and let her know That the club you just dragged her ass out of ain't the only one with a licker license.
Its all bout the Liks...
Yeah, "The kids will be _____ this weekend," for single parents usually translates to "Im free and available, bring Alize, come now, cum often!!!" LOL
Thug up with the professional woman???
...maybe so, but it has to be at the very least, semi-authentic...one day I will blog about dude who made up a criminal background to "impress" me ??!?!
@Chez
Hey, whoa, whoa! I'd never unauthenticate my bonafides. The cat you were seeing was out of line.
I'll tell anybody, I'm a bookworm, a nerd if you wanna call me that. But I'm not a hoe or a softie. I'll crack a cat's skull. That is oozin' out a brotha's pores. Sometimes you work to suppress it, sometimes you don't. That's the gentleman vs. the dog.
@IBW
I know I gotta play the game and make myself "unavailable". But you gotta know I'm bored as fuck in this little town with no friends, right?
KZ
@CG
I don't know Cocoa. There are women that crave beef, strife and drama. If they don't believe you have at least the POTENTIAL for any of those elements, you're through. There are other women that truly want to stay away from all that other shit. If you behave ISSUE FREE, then you're good. That's the draw.
KZ
Zeddie: What I'ma do with you??!
lol
"importing pussy, vintage 1970 from the fertile pussy-growing regions of Detroit.."
ohmigosh, i'm dyin'. Write a book, Zed. Please.
You better do your duty and hit that booty, the ground hog saw its shadow you have 6 more weeks until new punany
Don't fret. That will make the sex (and oral pleasure) much better when you hook up with her! woooohhhh horsey...nice to see somebody on the verge of getting some.
Don't fret. That will make the sex (and oral pleasure) much better when you hook up with her! woooohhhh horsey...nice to see somebody on the verge of getting some.
And what's this about the Vice mayor guy hosting a hoe-fest in your honor?!
sounds like you've got this situation well in hand. if you detect any sarcasm in that statement, it was unintentional. LOL
@Supe
This blog is keeping me from REALLY writing. But I'm addicted.
Hey, how you doin'?
*eyebrows moving up and down*
@Twin
I'm having reservations about smashin' out. I'll update on the next blog.
@CC
The Vice Mayor is a nerdy type cat. He's trying to use me for "weight". "Look, this cool guy is my friend!" The sad part is I'm not THAT cool! That should tell you how uncool he is.
@Nikki
You know I'm working it out, right? Long, slow strokes.
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