Fresh for '06, you suckas
KZ: I gotta a problem with that e-mail you sent.
S: What's the problem?
KZ: How is me not calling you causing you this type of grief?
S: It was like your were dodging me. It hurt my feelings.
KZ: Well that's my issue. How am I in a position to hurt your feelings by not returning your call. I mean, who the fuck am I?
S: I was supposed to come see you this weekend and you're not returning my calls. I figured you didn't want me to come. I mean, you didn't call me to laugh about the refrigerator magnet I sent.
KZ: Let's say I didn't want you to come. Why not just say "fuck it and fuck that *African*" and move on? Why did you let your feelings get all involved?
S: Because who the fuck likes being dodged!
KZ: Why care so much?
S: What are you really trying to say?
KZ: I can't give you what I think you want from me. I'm not willing to do it. I love being single. I love seeing multiple women. I think you want me to be exclusive to you.
S: Why would you say that?
KZ: The conversation we had when I was in Chicago, which was in the back of my head since we had it, and now the e-mail.
S: What about the conversation from Chicago?
KZ: You were talking about how it would be if we were "lovers" and shit. Exclusivity shit.
S: What else do you remember from that conversation? Do you remember how I told you what my girl said about you before she introduced us? She said "he's got babes and he's got BABES", meaning you had quantity and quality women. I know you. I don't wanna be with you like that. I was just talking. I need to get away from the city for a minute. I'd just like to spend a weekend chillin'. Why are you trying to read so much into a damn weekend?
KZ: Shells, I just needed clarity. I don't want it on my conscience that I'm leading you on or lying about the nature of our relationship.
S: OK. (pause) Are you dating a lot there?
KZ: Some. A little.
S: Just let 'em know you need a break this weekend. I don't want 'em rollin' up on ya when I'm there.
Be Cool,
KZ
44 comments:
@CG
You know I luv you, right?
KZ
man I had to pop in and see if Maggilla was still coming...guess so ------------------> Well I am working like a Hebrew slave so 2 fingaz and enjoy the weekend.
@Newy
LOL
My secretary just looked in to see if I was OK. That shit made me laugh so hard! Magilla!
KZ
i still say make her ass stay where she is. buy her a vibrator for her birthday :)
At least you had an "offical" convo. Now when she starts stalking you, you can cut and paste that last entry and send it to her.
LMAO @ "You didn't call to talk about the magnet...."
You gave her every chance to show some pride and she didn't take it. It's out of your hands now. Now, can we get you to reconsider your position on not writing about it on Monday? That's gonna be my first day back at work in a week and I'm gonna need some comedy to get me through.
@Aqua
I might buy her a vibrator anyway. That's my M.O.
@1969
At least she sent the magnet as a joke. That shit worried me.
@Cas
Thank you! I feel like I did everything I could, so now whatever happens, happens.
I'm still putting a freeze on Monday. It'll take me awhile to find any humor in this.
KZ
Laughing my ass off at ZED!
You've made us all think that this chick was desperate....how could she possibly want to come to the Anus to spend the weekend with YOU???!
She just needs to get out of her "space"...and into another. She wasn't over thinking shit...you were!
...surprised you didn't see it for what it's was. Sorta reminicent of an April visit you had...minus the sex...lol
Zed let the woman visit you for the weekend. Its a win win situation. You get the ass, she leaves and on to your next target. Now what she's doing is some tricky sticky shit..She gonna give you some drop down call your mama pop a viagra for a 4th go round kind of sex!! A true Jedi Master can handle that kind of attack. I my light saber slashes only one person now. Zed Windu The Force is now yours to command.
NOWBEATTHATCHICKFROMTHEBACK!!!!!!
As long as she's cool with the hit-and-run ... fuck it. Have a good time, playa. LOL @ blah. She's right ... you spend alot of time in your own head, sweetie.
I feel a Cochran Rhetort coming on:
"If you aint in Zed's head, then you can't get in his bed."
Email that shit to Shelley.
That girl is WORSE than Carmel! Read between the lines, girl. If a man told me to fuck off in so many words, belee me, I got my reading glasses on and my Black womanly ass is out the door. No ifs, ands, buts, or "butts" about it. Charlie told me I was hardheaded, cruel, selfish, a user, an abuser, a Cuss-o-Matic, a Black widow, a criminal, a slut, and every other name in the Book, but did Insanity care? Hell naw! I gave the mofo his wish, and guess what? He acts like I'm the only piece of pussy he can get. For somebody who can't stand me, he sure don't mind me breaking it off for him.
Trust, ladies: If you don't get calls and emails returned, and if he aint sending you Indian smoke signals that he's interested, HE AINT THAT INTO YOU, AT ALL!!!
Shelley can come to town if she wants to, but that don't mean you have to be her host/sexual partner.
I mean, you don't want to be cruel, but sometimes, you gotta be in order for a person to get the message.
And nobody wants to admit or even say it, but I will: A begging, grovelling ass woman (or anybody for that matter) is a TURN OFF! She's trying to force you to give up the dick when obviously it aint pointing in her direction. (Was that a bad analogy?) Love you!
Shelly is riding the short yellow bus on Twenty twos to the self respect class.
I think one of two things
1) she's been recently dumped by her local dick dealer and wants to get out of dodge
2) she's a relationship retard and takes cum shots to the face!
sorry I know that was graphic but you get the jest!
Hmmm sounds like you guys still danced around the issue. But short of saying "bitch die" you may not really get the peace of mind you want. JMO.
And... and... and... FUCK THAT MAGNET! You didn't ask her for that shit. (I think I missed the magnet post; going back...)
I'd understand if she was offering to show you a good time out on the town, but she just wants to pop in and occupy your bed for a weekend. That shit don't fly. QUID PRO QUO. You aint got no homeboys you can turn her on to? It would be a cruel joke to play on them, but hell... at least you'll be pest free for a moment.
Tell her you have a disease or something and you can't have sex for like two or three years. That oughtta get her off your back. She sounds like a stalker; 'member the rabbit in the boiling pot in "Fatal Attraction"?
Nigga, you ain't gettin no ass...*lol*
Why you lying to her?...*lol*
"If you see my girls thighs open/better smash that/don't be surprised/if she ask where da cash at?"
You "Africans" get on my nerves...
Just keep it real, keep it simple, I don't want to see you, or I don't want to fuck you, but we can kick it...or I just want to fuck you but we can't kick it...
Or whatever the case may be...be as blatant as you can, cruel if you have to be, so that she gets the point, straight, no chaser....
Thing is y'all...
Zed didn't mind her coming...what he minded was that she was coming into town with the thought of trying to be his boo...tryna start a relationship with him when all that ever was there was a "FUCK"...that's all she was...that's all he was.
So if she's coming to Satan's Anus to fuck and hang out...since he ain't got shit lese to do...then fine...come one, come all
BUT...
if she was tryna turn her FUCK into her man...then hell no, Zed didn't want her bringing her ass to the Anus...no matter how bored he was.
Now that things are cleared up (until he over analyses some other shit)...he can enjoy two days in the summer with someone that he is familiar with.
That's my buck fiddy-two.
@Mack
She knows what time it is. I gave her a watch last night.
When she get's here, I'll give her a pearl necklace.
@Blah
Yeah, in April I got an escape moved pulled on me too. Neva again! (Unless she cooks for me)
@Mr. Slish
She can't out-fuck me. She can only hope to contain me!
@Chele
I said that along time ago. One of the biggest things that me and Robyn have in common is we are super-worriers. We obsess about the smallest things.
@Insanity
Trust me when I say she's not worse than Carmel. She's not. I don't think much of her self respect, but Carmel was a basket case. Both these chicks make Batshit look like the love of my life.
That groveling shit is a horrible looks for women. I can't stand to see a woman like that. It's beneath them.
That dick analogy was pretty damn good.
@Miss Ahmad
I'm thinking #2.
@La Mariposa Azul
I thought about just saying "don't come". It would have solved a lot of problems. But yet, I still wouldn't mind gettin' broke off. Therein lies the issue.
How many women would still want to come after having that conversation?
@Honest
I just want stress free sex. Is that too much to ask?
@Insanity again
I don't wanna jinx my dick and say I got something. That's karma, baby.
@Nsane
The only reason I told her I was fuckin' here was to further reinforce that we can't be exclusive, period.
I think that part of my personality must be dead. In my 20's they used to call me Zed Raw, 'cuz I never spared anybody's feelings. I think I've put too many women through the emotional ringer.
I always wonder why otherwise extremely intelligent women have to be told just flat out I JUST WANNA FUCK AND THAT'S IT. You can't say "I wanna keep it casual" or "no strings attached". All that shit comes out as "blah blah blah". If that's the way it is, I guess that's the way I'll have to be.
KZ
@CG
You know I remember that pic you had up all too briefly. You betta watch out!
@Blah
My goodness, thank you!!! There it is in a nutshell. You write so well. Do you have a blog of your own? LOL
For the record, I looked in your purse. You only got a buck thirty seven.
KZ
Have fun Zed. Get all the ass that you can get this weekend. And remember to put the police on speed dial lol.
Will your feelings be hurt if she comes just for the sex, (no pun intended)and doesn't call anymore afterwards?
@LS
I'm hiding the sharp objects right now!
@OneFrom
We've already had sex, so that's highly unlikely. But if so, so be it. My feelings get hurt over a gang of shit, but not that.
KZ
LMAO @ Miss Ahmad...
Shelly is riding the short yellow bus on Twenty twos to the self respect class.
Well said.
she seems like a cool chick. have fun this weekend!
@1969
Please don't encourage Miss Ahmad.
@L and TV
You're funny!
KZ
awe KZ you putting me on time out?
see it's all fun and games until you and Shelly go playing house for a weekend!
i want you to have the time of your life African.
and while you're putting in work on Shelly, just know that Miss Ahmad thinks ya'll are both insane!
@Miss Ahmad
How the hell can I stop Miss Ahmad? I just ask that you not be encouraged to piss on my sorry ass parade.
Maybe she's scaping the bottom of the barrell, too. Maybe both of us are crazy!
like i commented on another blog, it's not that women don't know what's up when it comes to love and sex. sometimes, it just feels better to "pretend" the situation is something that it isn't because it serves a purpose at that time.
the good side is: obviously, you serve a purpose for this girl.
the bad side is: you will probably never know what that purpose is (since that's something we usually only share with the closest girlfriend or gay male friend).
@FA
You see, that's why I had to talk to her. So she couldn't pretend. So when she reflects on this later, she won't be able to portray herself as a victim of evil 'ol Zed. She had to be in this thing with her eyes wide open and know that my eyes are just as wide open.
KZ
I know I am naive, but I am proud of you. You at least told her about your reservations and you outlined that you are a multiwoman man. Now she might be trying to change your mind, like we women mistakenly do sometimes, but at least you were honest and she cant call you a dick when you move on to the next one. Good Job!
@GBM
I felt like she knew the deal, but I'm glad I was able to get some clarity once and for all.
KZ
...Okay so, does this mean she wont be getting you the couch?
:-P
@Niki
She might still be getting the couch. I got work to do!
KZ
You need therapy, and so do the people who think that what you do with women is ok. Your weekend guest sounds like she needs therapy also.
You should have told her not to come and left it at that. Better to hurt someone once by being straight up than use another human being.
Too bad she does read this blog.
@Anon
Are you a therapist? Do you know a good one? 'Cuz apparently me, my fellow bloggers, and the women I date could qualify for a group discount.
Give me a heads up on that therapy tip.
KZ
@Mack
She knows what time it is. I gave her a watch last night.
When she get's here, I'll give her a pearl necklace.
CLASSIC ZED. I LOVE YOU, MAYNE!!!
Ohhhhh shit!!!!!
It's my recent Eastern transplant!!!!
Mama, how you doin'? I'm glad you came by to slum with us!
We gotta talk, sweets.
KZ
Zed I hope you're getting layed right now!
@Miss Ahmad
If I am, you won't hear about it on this blog.
KZ
Zed, Zed, Zed,
It's wonderful to come back "home" and find you still make me smile. Mo' power my brotha, mo' power! Keep 'em coming.
okay I can't be mad at your for not kissing and telling, I'm just saying that I hope the weekend went well!
@Toneec42
Tonee!!!! Damn, it's like homecoming up in this piece!
You been laying so low, I took you off the damn blogroll! Are you back or are you just playing? I hope you're back.
KZ
Soooooooooooooooooo!
*Ahem*
Tonee's not da only one off ya blogroll, I'm no longer ya BOHEMIAN MUNKEE either, I guess. :-( I know, I know.. I gotta hold up my end, blah blah blah...
I WOULD cry and all, but I know how much you'd appreciate the hystrionics... So instead I'll say,
TWO TEARS IN A BUCKET... Yanno da rest!!!
*lol*... I still love ya munkee azz anyway, ya test tube baby!!! ;-)
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