I've been reflecting on a few things lately, primarily brought about by So Wise Sista's post on training for decorum in corporate America. There are two general schools of thought on this subject: Conform muthafuckas, it's their game, play by their rules or; fuck that, we shouldn't have to play that fuckin' game exactly to their specifications if we're still professional.
I am pretty much in line with the latter opinion. If one is about their business, clean, timely (yeah, I know), knowledgeable, and willing to learn, the sky should be the limit.
I've heard the argument that even white people have to conform to the dictates of corporate America, and that's a true fact. You can't have a fuckin' mohawk or even a fauxhawk steppin' through Wall Street. Purple hair, multiple facial piercings, none of that.
But the shit they ask Black people to tone down isn't even extreme. A Black woman with braids has to deal with comments about having "ethnic" hair. I remember being a sixteen year old intern with Michigan Bell (Pre-Ameritech, pre-SBC. That's how old I am!!!) and being pulled aside by this brother with a shoulder length jheri curl and told I should have a more conformist hairstyle. This is when I had a high top fade. I guess I'm just a hairstyle rebel.
But my thoughts have been going a little deeper. I think about how much names like LaShaun, Keisha, D'Marcus, Earlando, and the much maligned Shaniqua upset the Black bourgeois and a lot of white people. I honestly can't think of any names that are more American.
These names are the by product of a uniquely American situation, the "peculiar institution". A mass of people, saddled with surnames that don't mean anything to us. The names we chose to give our children, however made up and "unconventional" get ridiculed. I'm not talking about naming your children after fuckin' products you'd like to own. I'm just talking about hybrid names or just shit you'd like to hear roll off your tongue, whatever the fuck they are, without regard to "who's not gonna hire my child".
The reality is, we are raising a generation of cannon fodder for the capitalist machine. We are making sure that are kids are able to "work for somebody" by giving them a "standard" name. We can think bigger than this. We can do better. I know I don't want to raise a child so fearful of their ability to be a leader that they make all of their choices based on what's acceptable to society at large, where their importance is minimal.
I hope one day we can stop being so slave-minded.
I am pretty much in line with the latter opinion. If one is about their business, clean, timely (yeah, I know), knowledgeable, and willing to learn, the sky should be the limit.
I've heard the argument that even white people have to conform to the dictates of corporate America, and that's a true fact. You can't have a fuckin' mohawk or even a fauxhawk steppin' through Wall Street. Purple hair, multiple facial piercings, none of that.
But the shit they ask Black people to tone down isn't even extreme. A Black woman with braids has to deal with comments about having "ethnic" hair. I remember being a sixteen year old intern with Michigan Bell (Pre-Ameritech, pre-SBC. That's how old I am!!!) and being pulled aside by this brother with a shoulder length jheri curl and told I should have a more conformist hairstyle. This is when I had a high top fade. I guess I'm just a hairstyle rebel.
But my thoughts have been going a little deeper. I think about how much names like LaShaun, Keisha, D'Marcus, Earlando, and the much maligned Shaniqua upset the Black bourgeois and a lot of white people. I honestly can't think of any names that are more American.
These names are the by product of a uniquely American situation, the "peculiar institution". A mass of people, saddled with surnames that don't mean anything to us. The names we chose to give our children, however made up and "unconventional" get ridiculed. I'm not talking about naming your children after fuckin' products you'd like to own. I'm just talking about hybrid names or just shit you'd like to hear roll off your tongue, whatever the fuck they are, without regard to "who's not gonna hire my child".
The reality is, we are raising a generation of cannon fodder for the capitalist machine. We are making sure that are kids are able to "work for somebody" by giving them a "standard" name. We can think bigger than this. We can do better. I know I don't want to raise a child so fearful of their ability to be a leader that they make all of their choices based on what's acceptable to society at large, where their importance is minimal.
I hope one day we can stop being so slave-minded.
Be Easy,
KZ
63 comments:
great post Zed.
The slave mentality needs to be fought with tooth and nail. unfortunately it's been my experience that far too many people don't have another mentality to identify with...other than ghetto. Both of which are slightly offensive to me.
I got out of corporate America as soon as I steped in it. I'm not a conformist. I was the girl with the mini skirt, motorcycle boots and corner office...that wasn't gonna fly forever.
Entertainment still has its politics, but it's mostly comprised of non conformist, so at least we understand each other...
*first*
I don't think there's anything wrong with naming your child whatever you want.
And yes, it should be all about your skill level and qualifications, but in reality, the corporate world will pause when they see a resume saying "Bonquisha Jenkins".
I applaud our race for non-conforming and for not being afraid to get creative in the naming process. We really are geniuses.
But don't be blind to the fact that they still have to exist within this society...raise your children to be intellectually strong and to be proud. Let them know and be prepared for the fact that seeing that name is going to start them off with one strike (in addition to the other strike we carry, being black) and give them the knowledge, strength and pride that they can break down any barriers with their talent.
We want more Condoleeza's and Barack Obama's in positions of power not Shanaynay's on the corner.
@Miss Ahmad
The entertainment industry has always been collectively our best bet, at least as performers.
@1969
All I'm saying is name your children what you want to name them without regard to "getting a job". It's shortsighted. Name your kid John Smith. They'll find out he's Black when he walks in for the interview. If they're racist, the result is the same anyway.
@Blah
I know you disagree!
KZ
Well, I have a very ghetto name, so I abbreviate it...*lol*
But my name and then my hair, scares the white people, but they can have they corporate jobs, cause I really don't want them....
well i'm not a performer, which is probably why i was so inclined to become apart of the industry. i felt an imperative be to apart of the decision making process and to provide a blue print for one more black girl somewhere who might want to do the same.
That being said Entertainment is big business, which means that no matter what i wear to work, i must be able to get the job done. However I have found dressing for success to work in my favor.
I have a name which makes people think I'm middle eastern until that meet me..that has worked both for an against me.
I feel it's really lower class and uneducated people who name their kids after liquore and shit. People who live a middle class life know what it takes to get there...and being able to get your foot in the door helps tremendously.
Hell even white folks shorten their names to initials when their parents get too carried away!
I think there's a limit to everything. If you're working for someone else you have to at least follow their rules to some extent. I'm not saying don't wear your hair in locks or have a natural hairstyle but think about the environment that you're in. As for names my first name is difficult to pronounce for Americans black or white and half the time folks assume I'm a man anyway because my last name is a man's first name so they just switch them. I wasn't too fond of it as a child but as an adult I appreciate the heritage it represents. However when I have children I do have to think twice about what I name them. Will I conform to some American name to appease the masses probably not but I have to think about where my children will be raised.
@Nsane
That's what I'm saying. Everybody to an extent has to suppress their sense of self in the workplace. But I think we have to do it to a ridiculous level.
I like your name, personally. You can abbreviate it in a few ways. Or you can say it all for maximum effect.
@Miss Ahmad
I have a name that people tend to assume what I look like, too.
Daily I'm well groomed, I wear traditional western attire (a.k.a. a suit) daily. But I sport locs. Three strikes right there.
White folks usually shorten their names to have a more "mainstream" name or disguise their ethnicity. You know, to blend in. All that shit goes out the window when your skin is black/brown.
KZ
Great post. That's why I stick to non-profits & education: much broader comfort zone with regard to ethnicity, appearance, attire, sexual orientation, etc. The fact that this one happens to be in healthcare means I still get pizzaid! hahaha But, I digress.
I'll probably get shit for it, but: Personally, I mean, name your kid whatever you want. I am thankful, however, that my mother named me something with meaning. My gob'ment name is derived from the Greek term meaning "truth or one who speaks the truth". The same name as my grandmother. I believe that just as people can speak things into existence; they so can impact their children's lives by imposing a meaningless name. "Boomshequa" may be the syncretic product of inventions African & American. But, what is its significance? I'd find more logical and attractive something like "Adebanke".
@Honest
The only American names I know are the shit Black people make up.
James -English
David - Anglicized Hebrew
John -English
Robert - English
Then we got the surname crowd
Tyler,Connor,Regan,Logan, etc.
We should make up some names right on the spot. As soon as they pop out the womb.
"Zigamazuzala!" and that's the name.
KZ
so does this mean i should or shouldn't name my kids, epiphany, evangeline and ezekial?
or what about my boy in detroit who named his kid cassidy so no one will know she's black
(insert confused face here)?
@ BZ: "I believe that just as people can speak things into existence; they so can impact their children's lives by imposing a meaningless name."
Think this is very true.
@ Zed: You don't know jack. I said great post African...what more do you want from me?!
@BZ
I don't know the significance of most tried and true traditional names, but I don't want to diminish their worth.
For instance, I think Jeffrey is a stupid fuckin' name. I don't know what it means, but if someone saw it on a resume, they'd be fine with it. Why should Jeffrey Johnson get more consideration that D'Portello Jenkins? Because we're used to the name?
I agree I'm going to name my children something with meaning, but I can't knock someone who names their kid something they just like the sound of. We actually setting our kids up to be prepared to work for another muthafucka forever. It's proof that capitalism works.
KZ
People can't tell anything from my name and don't let them give me a phone interview ... they think they're hiring Becky for real. Then I show up and the back peddling and the stuttering begins.
@Miss Ahmad
We can name the boy Zedediah Jr.
They'll know his kid is Black as soon as she arrives at the interview. If they are disinclined to hire a Black woman, what did the name save her? An hour?
Detroit, hunh? *sigh*
@Blah
You stop calling me "African"! We all know what you really wanna call me!
KZ
@Chele
That's some cool shit. That's a cool effect, to be able to surprise dey ass up until the last minute. I sound like a sharecropper on the phone. They know what they're getting immediately.
KZ
I just found a site that might help us out with name meanings:
http://baby-names.adoption.com/
Jeffrey apparently is an old Teutonic name meaning "God's Peace".
KZ
great post.
i'm fucked either way if i really cared. i have an african name. i wear locs. you know i'm black when you look at my credentials. however if you only look at my paper and my outside you're missing out on one hell of a good person
i guess i am dooming my children to a life of ridicule as well. i want to give my children names which reflect their heritage. i also want to either keep my children natural as long as possible...even loc'ed.
Well hell my government name means Refuge from War.
Excellent post!
I feel you all the way around, but I have to admit sometimes we go to far with the friggin names. A friend of mine who lives in Oaklnad was telling me about a teacher friend of his who has two students in her Jr. high. One child, the youngest was recently kicked out of school and the other is rapidly approaching the same fate. Both boys are terrible bully's, beating children up in front of other teachers, stealing, just straight terrors.
Their names are Chaos and Kilo...NO LIE!!! Ok so nevermind what this says about the parents. Names help to define a person, it speaks of one's character like it or not. These names speak volumes, as do some of the other names we choose in the AA community.
I won't lie, white, black, or friggin periwinkle...if i come across the resume of someone named "Kilo Johnson" I am going to really think twice about calling them in for an interview.
Ok so maybe she had vision, maybe she was preparing them for their future careers. Chaos perhaps could be the next Heavyweight Champion of the world and Kilo...well Tony Montana lived a pretty exciting life even for a little while.
My point is the coonery must stop at some point. Being slave-minded goes a number of ways. Conforming to what white america thinks is acceptable is one thing, but being so creative that you forever label your children with monikers they won't easily be able to shake is another. TRAGIC...no matter what side you stand on.
@Aqua
It won't be doomin' 'em if they are groomed to run shit.
@Mack
I can understand it when people are constantly fuckin' your name up, it gets frustrating. But in most cases, reading is fundamental. If people would not be so lazy, they'd by able to pronounce your gov'ment, your kids' gov'ment, all of it.
@Tony
It's always gonna be something with the ruling class, be they white, black or anything else. If they don't want your Black ass, your name could be John D. Rockerfeller. If I had a conventional hairstyle, I'd still be a 6'3" Black dude that doesn't smile. That's not changing.
@Honest
My gov'ment means "wood-dweller". Go figure.
@RD
See, there's the issue. Both those names have a negative connotation associated with them in English. There' gonna be baggage automatically.
I read "Freakonomics" last year. In it they talked about these brothers named Winner and Loser. These men are real, this is not made up, same mother and father. Winner is a fuckin' loser. Multiple felon, shady, all around bad dude. Loser is a detective on the NYPD, decorated officer, all around good guy. Everybody call him "Lou" for short. Destiny is ours, regardless.
There is power in our names. But trust me, I don't think that power is inherent. If people aren't educated about that power, it doesn't matter if your name is Howard or Shaka Zulu.
KZ
My point is the coonery must stop at some point.
I love this line RD!!!
When I taught school, one of my students was named "Aquanetta" after the freakin hair spray. Another one named her baby (pregnant at 15) "Shaqueena"...when asked why she answered, "Cause she a queen".
What say you Zed?
@1969
If your mama had you at 15, there is a very good chance your name is the least of your worries. Mary or Shaqueena is gonna have to run faster to get as far as your children or mine.
Is the rationale behind Shaqueena less arbitrary than naming her daughter something like Julia or Marie? What do those names mean? What do they evoke? Normalness?
It is kind of a sickness amongst us to equate whiteness with the normative state of things. We are here, we ain't goin' nowhere.
KZ
My thing is this...a name says a lot like it or not. Especially when you choose a name that is recognizable to the masses. the difference might lie in the things "Kilo" and "Chaos" are exposed to as they grow but from the sound of things, Moms ain't too bright herself which puts these two babies at a double disadvantage. I'm in no way saying conform...naming them Chaos or Kevin could still garner the same outcome if they are being raised by a heathen. But give the babies a friggin fighting chance. If they are going to have to find their own way because parents are dumb shits them at least give them a foundation to stand on. "Kilo" not only has being a black man as a challenge to face out here in white america but now he has to try NOT to live up to his name.
And like you said...the power IS NOT inherent, which means we gotta hope and pray that someone gives them one small opportunity to see or hear something that will give them a positive path to go down. If that doesn't happen and if they don't take it then Kilo and Chaos will ultimately be left to the power that is found in their names...nevermind how negative that power might be.
PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@RD
I'm saying "@RD", but really it's kind of a general comment about this entire thread.
This post was about fear.
We are born in fear, we live in fear, and we die in fear. We are scared to name our children what we'd like, because we'd afraid they won't be able to get a job. We fear ridicule by society at large, we fear responsibility so we knock up women and run, we fear love so we bounce from chick to chick. We soak fear up like a sponge because a lot of us live in poor, dangerous areas, made dangerous BECAUSE we're poor.
The only thing I wanted to put forth in this post was that we need not fear what we will encounter regardless. We are not accepted by the masses and we will be discriminated against when seeking employment. We can at least be fearless in naming our progeny. I think we (us who are able to blog and work) trust the poor unwashed to give their children "suitable" alterna-names. And we fear the embarassment brought upon our race by these "stupid" names.
@FA
C'mon. What you gotta say?
KZ
Irony: These people nowadays naming their girls Kierra and Brianna thinking that these are non-ethnic names, when in reality, those are the Y2K Keisha's and Tameka's.
F* a corporation, even though I work for one.
lol@the jherri curl dude hating on a "level headed brotha".
In my last comment I meant "don't trust the poor".
@L and TV
We will collectively get stuck on a damn "new name".
My flat top was fresh ta def! I'mma post a pic of it one day.
KZ
I don't think we should not name our kids something we love for fear of getting jobs or being held back. Who cares what the man thinks?
However, I do really have a problem with some of the over the top names that we have out there. There, I said it.
Do we really need to name our daughters Alize, and Chardonnay?
I'm not saying being named Mary makes you any better. I am just saying DAMN....ALIZE? LOL
@1969
I agree wholeheartedly about "product names". I don't disagree with that at all. I hate that shit.
I've known people named Lexus, Allante (after the Cadillac), Tequila, and Seagram.
KZ
Hey now Zed...I like Tequilla.
When you see my full name first, middle, and last... HA! I'm in. You'll think that I'm some flower-picking little white gal. But the resume clearly and proudly states "Howard University". And I wear that like a badge of honor. I proudly let white folk know that I went to an HBCU, twice. I'm in the field of engineeering where I am often the only woman and the only black person at the table. I wear the professional uniform, but will put on some pink or multi-colored shoes in a heartbeat. I wore braids for 11 years and now locs. And I'll gladly explain to white folks how I got my hair to "do this" if they ask me in the right manner. This is what we do, we play the game on white folk's court. But like you said Zed, we shouldn't have to play the fukin game exactly to their specifications, EXACTLY! I play their game on my terms. But i've only worked in the public sector and it's a little easier to have this attitude here.
If we think that some of these crazy ass made up names reflect a certain mentality, imagine what white folk think. This is the real world and white folks are gonna have to get used to us and OUR hair sooner or later. But is this what we want them to get used to? Bonequisha, Tyrod, Komere..it's not African, it's not American, it's not Islamic, nor Hebrew, nor Celtic....WHAT IS IT? We have to do better and give our kids something to aspire to..
ps: My ghetto ass neice actually named her son Komere (pronounced like come-here) *sigh*
@KZ...I heard what you were saying and don't disagree. the only think I caution is when we encourage a kind of fearlessness that makes one of us think it is ok to name your child Kilo because you aren't scared of what anyone else will think. Somethings should transcend fear but should still have a level of common sense. That's all I'm saying...
BTW we're going to name our first child "Grits", we'll call him Gritty for short...it sounds kinda hard, right? This will almost guarantee that kids in the hood won't eff with him and maybe he'll have a promising career as a short-order cook...You down?
Oh and I found this line interesting..."we fear love so we bounce from chick to chick" were you looking in the mirror when you said that?
I LOVE YOU *wink*
I agree that people should name their kids however they choose. I just don't have to appreciate it. And, don't be mad if your kid's name aint sh*t and he ends up not being sh*t either. My name is the Spanish version of that Greek term I mentioned. Should the fact that it's western European evoke normalness? Or does the fact that it originates from a Biblical language and speaks to a virtue mean anything?
If I were in a hiring position, the name of a person would not play a role as to whether I'd hire him or her. To do so, I agree, would be wrong. It is just my preference to offer significance to something my child will hear regularly. Because, regardless of mispronunciations (which I get ALL the time): "It ain't what you're called; it's what you respond to."
LMAO @ Chele! That ish was funny! She said Becky!
I sound like a sharecropper on the phone.
BAAAHHAHHAHHHAHAAAAAA...
*
The whole coonery names issue bugs da shit outta me. I've yet to meet anyone with a retarded name who was actually not reppin it to the fullest. I believe names are powerful, because I think we speak that meaning into someone every time their name is uttered. Recently found out my name means, "Protector," and that's sooooo me. Interesting issue.
*Off topic*
"we fear love so we bounce from chick to chick"
Ummmhhhh... Do you have a mirror over your monitor while you type this stuff???!
To be honest i think i got my job cuz of my name and how i sound over htephone..i now it was a big shock when i actually came in for the interview but i was the right person for the job....But I would name my child whatever name I chose and if i wanted to get "ETHNIC" i will or at least use it as the middle name...make sure its omethign ppl can spell and pronounce cuz im making future doctors and lawyers over here
@1969
I fuckin' LOVE actual Tequila. The woman I know with that name, not so much.
@One From
I can get with the basic rules of professional interaction, ethics and decorum. You just can't dictate my whole fuckin' life! That's the shit that gnaws at me.
You won't believe this story but it's true: My ex-girlfriend was a teacher at Denby High School, eastide Detroit, MI. She had a student on her attendance role named "Vagina". She looked at the name. Stared at it as she was about to read it. Hesistantly she started, "Va...gina." The girl responded "That's Va-GEENA" Her mother named her "pussy".
@RD
There oughta be some common sense involved. But then again, who are we to judge? I don't know if I'm the right person to deem a name "acceptable".
We gon' name our son LoveChild SexBaby Zednanreh.
That thing about "fearing love and bouncing from chick to chick". Ummm, I was just checking to see if y'all was payin' attention. Yeah, that's it.
I LOVE YOU BACK!
@BZ
A fucked up name is a fucked up name, regardless of meaning or origin. I knew a cat named Matthias in college. We used to use his name to signify wackness, because his name is so wack. "That shit is soooo Matthias". The same way Jeffrey evokes goofiness, Nathaniel evokes gayness, and Howard evokes softness to me.
So basically what I'm saying is we agree to an extent. I'm sure there are crackheads named "Arthur" and successful businesswomen named "LaKeishetta".
If a dude walks up to you and introduces himself as, let's say "Gary", do you ever think to ask him what it means?
@ES
You know I sound like a fuckin' sharecropper! I can't hold 'em up!
I got eight nieces and nephews (four of each). All of 'em have conventional names. Six of 'em are being raised by damn fools (two of my siblings). If half of 'em are criminals, can we blame their names? We tend to blame the name when it's unusual.
As far as that "love" thang. You know a playa like me don't get caught up like that. *pimp laugh*
@The Name Change Queen
What's up mama?
You know you can send a kid named ShaQuaNetlisha to medical school. Don't be like that!
KZ
I agree.
1. Racism exists regardless of what your name is. So embrace your government, wear it proud and walk tall. Make sure you are in a suit, on-time with a flawless resume for your job interview...if they still dont want you, you might not want to work there.
2. Black Americans have been stripped of most of their African culture over the years. But many of us still get to name our own children. Even the most disenfranchised, poorly educated, economically depressed teenaged mother gets to have a little power in this one area of her life...I think she should go for it, also
3. People all over the world now know how to pronounce Shaquille, Condoleeza, and Oprah. So a couple more LaKeishas wont hurt anybody.
@Chez
First of all, Happy Belated!
Second, hell yes!!!! That's what I'm talking about. Backing up my bullshit logic with actual facts. That's what law school can do for you!
KZ
Here's the thing though:
Truth is: racism is out there. Subtle racism is out there. People who do racist things and have racist thinking (that was subtely baked into their upbringing and consewuently subtlely ingrained in their thinking) are out there.
And let's say little Dayshaun Quintilly Watkins wants to be IN corporate America and has chosen THAT as his job path, because he SINCERELY likes it, MUST conform. What other choice does THAT African have?
If you do NOT conform, you WILL be shut out, and sometimes if you DO conform you will be shut-out.
The way to make it in the "American Dream" state we call America IS to do shit their way. Hence my not being able to prolly go much higher than where I am 9in corporate America that is) because I DO agree with you, your name should NOT give ANYONE a reason to form biases against you sight unseen, but for NOW, unless you are reeeeeeeeeal industrious and have capital, a take not prisoners, whatever it takes entrepreneurial spirit, or just get into a more creative type of work enviromnent, it is going to be HARD to make a decent living and make the type of money that you, as a working in corp. America African, would make.
It's sad but true. You KNOOOOOW that I have a "problem with authority" and I have a problem with the fact that things ARE the way they are, and that such limits are placed on someone over something so inconsequential. That's like someone hodling it against me that I have on read and green striped draws..... doesn't change who I am or what I can do, but you gon hold it against me??? What sense does that make? NONE! But a mufucka will hold your moniker against you.
Yup. Good old U.S. of A.......
@Robyn
Ol' Dayshaun Quintilly would conform. He just wouldn't have a name you're familiar with. Why is that so fuckin' offensive to the powers that be?
I once interviewed a white woman named Kendra. I thought she'd be Black when she came in (that's not the reason I chose to interview her). I'd only known sistas named Kendra. She was still qualified for the gig, regardless. What does this have to do with anything? I don't know, I'm just throwing shit at the wall now to see what sticks.
This is a cry to take back pieces of our cultural identity, unashamed, a little at a time. Fuck who's looking. They'll look anyway.
KZ
Damn you and So...Wise for making me think. I was all set in my ways wanting my child to have a "conforming name." Now, I'm not sure. I don't have a traditional American name and I do aiight, so why should I think my child can't do the same?
@Mariposa
I only told you the half. Our girl will be Kameryn. Our boy will be Kujichagilia (self determination). I thought you knew? Wiseass!
@Cas
I know I just want my kids to have something memorable. You'd be surprised how far that gets you. Maybe something alliterative.
KZ
when i said doomed, you know i was joking.
my ex and i had this conversation before. he stated that the need for us as african people to have names reflect a connection to our past.
i don't care for names which are totally crazy sounding. also that part kills me that folk will give their child a name like alize (like yall said), but won't give them an legitimate african name.
humm, my names all together mean trustworth black woman..
my mom put allot of energy into naming all of us. I believe all of my younger siblings actually had naming ceremonies and my baby sister didn't have a name forever, 'cuz her personality was slow to come out. I was voting they named her cinnamon, but instead her name means most cherished.
my middle brother's names is the arabic version of my mother's father, and my baby brother was named for the boy in the bible who was almost slaughtered by his father because my mom had complications with her pregnancy and he was the miracle child.
names carry weight, and meaning and although people can pronounce condoleeza don't nobody know what it means.
i think it should be illegal to make up your child's name! there are plenty of good names out there, use one of 'em and keep it moving!
@Aqua
I want my kids to have the most ridiculous sounding names ever! "Hey ShoeBooty! CrustyCrotch! Dinner's ready!"
@Miss Ahmad
All language is made up. If you make up a name and assign it a meaning, it's no less legit.
The more fuck-o's I meet with meaningful names, the less weight I give to meaningful names.
KZ
how about this..my ex and i would go to this chinese place. his favorite dish ...spicy orange shrimp. our running joke was he loved it so much we would name our first son spicy orange.
but with a name like that you're destined for greatness, right?
'and now accepting the nobel peace prize, spicy orange'
Zed,
This has no bearing on your post. I just want to let you know that you have helped me to move on from a bad relationship. Although I am "damn near 50", I have no experience in the dating game.Your insight has helped me tremendously to wake up and smell the coffee. Perspective is everything. Thank you. I wont be reading anymore as I feel it's best that I not dwell on things like this but I didnt want to stop reading without letting you know your place in my healing. Thank you. Much love! GBM
@Aqua
That would work. Spicy Orange would be a hard muthafucka to beat.
I got a boy that named his son Joshua. He named his Black son Joshua. I know it's biblical, but damn. I'd rather have a son named Spicy Orange.
Actually, my son would likely be named "General Tso".
KZ
@GBM
What the hell did I do? Was it showing you how an asshole thinks?
I'm glad you moved past this bad situation.
You gotta keep reading though!
KZ
General Tso? after the chicken dish?
**she jokes, she jokes......**
HA!!!
I already got my baby name picked out: Likore Nteevee Stiltwalker. (LMAO)
No seriously my bro is having a baby and damned if we weren't speaking about this yesterday. Personally I feel like people should name their children something of significance to their family, culture or any other pertinent event that surrounded conception, birth, etc. Anything else is just random.
the second runner was was kung pow shrimp...it didn't have the same ring to it.
but general tso, that's hot! LOL
Ahhh, I see what you meant about the inspiration. And I see your point. A kid doesn't name himself, so Kilo shouldn't be judged by his mother's idiocy. However, that's exactly what I do...I terminate the benefit of the doubt to the kid...bec at some point, if my name rhymed with "Delores" or "Regina" you better know fa damn sure I'm changing that shit. I'd be one a those initial-as-first-name muhfuckas. V. Denise Jenkins. lol
I gave my best friend a hard time when she decided on the name King for her son. I kept saying, oh King can be president! She was annoyed and undeterred as she should be. That's her damn baby. And now I love the name. But I agree with folks that say there should be a limit. Goes for white people too who name their seeds Rumor and Pilot and shit. Poor babies.
@Robyn
You know General Tso is my Asian!
@Stilts
Maybe he could name the baby Stiltwalker's Nephew.
@Aqua
Cats would bow down to General Tso, right?
@So Wise
I keep thinking of these examples the more y'all comment.
I know a cat I went to high school with named Yrral. That was his name and we didn't trip. One day a substitute teacher asked him what his name meant. He said "My dad's name is Larry. It's just Larry spelled backwards." It fucked me up because in 4 years I never noticed that.
KZ
Now that was a post.
My aunt is always telling me that I should make sure that when I have children I give them a "regular" name.
I'm like hell nah my name is unique and creative and that is the way their names will be.
And she is always telling me I should get a perm. I'm like stop it lady that ish ain't gonna happen.
@HRDetroit
We agree about 10%.
By the way, do we know each other?
;)
KZ
Hr got'cha.....
yo numba that is!LOL
@Robyn
I was actually about to rip into HRDetroit with some actual facts, but it's like fighting a phantom. No blog, no real response.
KZ
ok, ok i'm back zed. you already know i had to wait to comment (had to get my thoughts together). i agree with many of the thoughts that have already been shared actually. i believe in the power of speaking things into existance as well as the power of positive thinking. but i'm also not naive enough to believe that the world is fair and that people will be judged accordingly.
my real name is angel. it's not angela, angelique, angie, angelina, angelita, or any other damn variation. for people concerned about "living up to the weight of their names," how do you think people with names like mine feel? not to mention, jesus, christian, or damian. so if your name is john and your parents happened to have the last name of deere, you're destined to act like a lawnmower? come on now!
of course i believe that names have power and anyone who doesn't agree is a damn fool. yes it's not right that rasheeda won't get the job over rachel even though they have the exact same qualifications, but that's all a part of the game that has to be played when your ass works for someone else! truth be told, the person doing the hiring is at liberty to do whatever they have to to be comfortable. if they are in a position to make decisions about who and what their workplace looks like, you best believe that it's gonna be as seamless a process as possible.
ideally, i think we'd all like to get to the place where names (along with hair, piercings, tattoos, weight) didn't make or break us in the career department, but sadly we are FAR FAR FAR from that place.
oh, before i forget too, i have some "unique names" to add to the list as well. my brother is dating a girl named robin. she said she always wanted to name her girl children "bird names" like she has. thus, she has a daughter named raven and the other is named canary!!!!!!!!!!! TRUE MUTHAFCKING STORY!!!!
forget to mention, i have a cousin named tequila.
@FA
I know a nigga named Cleotus that has a daughter named Cliche. That's right, Cliche. Once again we can talk about the power of names, but I'd like to talk about the power of education, preparedness and excellence.
If you, personally, would hire Rachel over Rasheeda based on names, that's your hang up. We need to get free as Black people and stop punishing ourselves because we're ashamed of our "lower class" brothers and sisters being less assimilated. So they made up a name. Big deal!
I guess my venom isn't directed towards you, it's really this sense of self-righteousness people have because they don't have ghetto names. They didn't have anything to do with NOT having ghetto names. I hate misplaced pride.
And certain folks on this blog can be proud of being whitey's gatekeeper and making sure he doesn't have to lay eyes on Rasheeka. We wouldn't want to ruin his day. And everybody can be proud that they do their nails and hair just enough to be safely assimilated. Heaven forbid the boss catch them at a cookout eating ribs and slurping on a watermelon rind. And we can all sit around, pretend to be free, and exude the sufficient, white-man approved amount of Blackness.
How's Tequila doing?
KZ
They have a whole chapter about this phenomenon in that book Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. In chapter six, "Would a Roshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet?" they studied the effect and origins of "Black Sounding" names based on census data. But they expanded their study to include the names that young poor white women give their babies, the so called "Stripper Names," such as Bambi. This is the only economics book I have ever read, but it was very interesting.
@CG
To rebel just for the sake of it is bullshit. But to conform out of this deference to this superior culture that put us in chains is bullshit. You a slave whether or not you conform, so you might as well go out on your own terms.
@Chez
I referenced "Freakonomics" a few comments up. It was an extremely interesting book that a friend of my apparently stole.
KZ
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