Hey y'all. Welcome back (if you are indeed back)! This place is a mausoleum today. I can only hope for a peaceful "rest of the" week.
Today is a special day for me. It is my one year anniversary here at this job. Regular readers will wonder what is the big deal. Well what it means is that half of my two-year plan is completed. My two-year plan in coming to Satan's Anus was to be at the Director level in my field for two-years in a smaller town so that I could go anywhere of my choosing afterward and remain at that level. I'm halfway there.
Realistically, my job duties here are not even close to the responsibility I had when I was working for the City of Detroit. But in Detroit, they have a promotional system in place that works for them. That system is called "Sucking The Mayor's Dick". I opted out of that system and tried to get promoted using something I called "Telling The Mayor To Kiss My Ass". My system was critically flawed, so I left.
One year here in Satan's Anus has taught me a few things:
Today is a special day for me. It is my one year anniversary here at this job. Regular readers will wonder what is the big deal. Well what it means is that half of my two-year plan is completed. My two-year plan in coming to Satan's Anus was to be at the Director level in my field for two-years in a smaller town so that I could go anywhere of my choosing afterward and remain at that level. I'm halfway there.
Realistically, my job duties here are not even close to the responsibility I had when I was working for the City of Detroit. But in Detroit, they have a promotional system in place that works for them. That system is called "Sucking The Mayor's Dick". I opted out of that system and tried to get promoted using something I called "Telling The Mayor To Kiss My Ass". My system was critically flawed, so I left.
One year here in Satan's Anus has taught me a few things:
- Be awfully careful what you wish for.
- Follow through every time. You could still be fuckin' that nail tech with the locs if you would have just kept calling even when you were moving, jackass!
- Before you ask a woman to take her clothes off, ask if she's had gastric bypass surgery first.
- Never glorify the idea of being the boss. People are petty and they believe you can solve everything. Given to their own devices, they'll let you dictate how they live and then resent you for it.
- There is a such thing as having too many cousins. Especially if they all live in the same small assed town.
I've made a few minor decisions in my life, too. I need to stop bullshitting and buy a couch and a dining table. Even if I have a timetable in mind to leave, I should at least try to make my situation liveable. And I should probably not pass up opportunities to enjoy myself just to make my time more miserable here, lest I settle.
Let's knock this next year out together.
Let's knock this next year out together.
Be Easy,
KZ
27 comments:
Must be nice to have goals and aspirations. Mine include hitting the lotto.
yuck@gastric bypass saggy skin results..just YUCK.
When I moved I gave away all my stuff and started from scratch. It took me a year to by a couch. Now I gotta by a TV..right now I only have 2!! 2 TV's son. I'm slippin. I'm trying to decide what kind I want.
@LiquorMunkee
I gave away all my stuff when I moved too. Couch, dresser, bookcases, you name it. You wanna know a sad fact? I own 3 TVs and I've never bought one. I won one and got two as hand me downs from my parents. One of the hand me downs was a fancy TV that they got when I was in college in 1990. That's horrible.
That saggy skin shit will make your ass earl!
KZ
i'm in a rebuilding mode myself. when the ex comes and gets his shit, i'm getting a new tv as well. i knew i should have bought it right after i moved. that new bed felt really nice last night.
it sounds like you're determined to stick to your plans. if it works for you, go for it.
Every time you're getting ready to have company you think about that daggone couch.
Saggy skin? Gross. You'll be happy to know that I have had no surgery. I'm just naturally fine.
I am NOT going to say I told you so...but that last paragraph sounds very familiar.
I don't even want to know about #3...but then again...I am morbidly drawn to the details to that story.
12 months to go and I guess you'll either been in Cal or in a high-rise expensive ass condo in NYC...
"**** lickin drip drip from a niggas benefits/He doens't even suit ya/and he's surely not ya size/I'm surprised that you slept/on a heart thats worldwide"....thats my SHIT!!!
Good luck on the next year Negro...
Being the boss would be cool if you didnt have those damn needy people reporting to you.
LMAO @ Detroit's promotional system.
in the civilized world we eat dinner at dining room tables...get with the program Zed!
I read an awesome book once called Urban Tribes, by Ethan Waters and he said something to the effect of "if' i'd have known I'd have been living here so long I would have spruced it up, painted and made it home" i think the gypsy in us all makes us think that we should live a life we can pack up and leave in 30 seconds or less..
ground yourself where you are. it's good practice
Happy Anniversary Zeddie Bear!
As for the couch and dining table...yeah you need to handle that. Guests need somewhere to sit and eat when they come to visit!
That saggin skin thing got my stomach in knots...not cool...not cool at all!!!
@Aqua
This is a hard assed plan to stick to. I've thought about cutting and running a few times. I hope I can finish this next year.
@Chele
I've been counting on that! Now if I can just move B outta the way.
@Blah
Really hot girl + Anxious to give it up = Something's wrong
That's the deal with #3. I shoulda known.
My goal for 2007: NY or California.
@Bluey
Satan's Anus is supposed to conjure up pictures of the most undesireable place in the world. Did it work?
I hope I don't leave Satan's Anus for something worse, like Elton John's Anus or Star Jones' Pussy.
@Mack
This nail tech was by far the baddest broad I've ever macked. My boy Rainier was with me. That cat said "She walks like a fuckin' thorobred". Ass impeccable. I met her a week before I left, at a KRS-One concert. I didn't follow through.
@Nsane
I love that fuckin' song. I always feel better about break-ups when I hear it.
@Cas
Everybody thinks they're irreplaceable, right up until they meet their replacement.
I just got out of a meeting where this broad REFUSED to perform an assignment given to her by her supervisor. I'm her supervisor's boss's boss. She's repeating this shit to me. Why shouldn't she get fired? She can't give me a good reason.
City Government in Detroit is the most corrupt system in the world. Trust me. They got one of my ex-interns running a city department. She's dumb as a post, but she looks like LisaRaye. That's Detroit.
@Miss Ahmad
Do I have to ground myself here? I've been eating at my coffee table. Yeah, I got a coffee table, but no couch.
@RD
If you tell me you're coming to visit, I'll buy the furniture.
Regardless, I got the perfect place for you to sit.
*youthinkshegotit?*
That saggy skin would be burned into your memory bank. You never need to see that shit close up. Trust.
KZ
sounds like the best seat in the house...nevermind the couch!!!
Congrats on your 1 year mark! If I may ask (without being blasted for being late). What is your two year goal/plan for govmnt? I have a 5 year plan that I've not even started on for political office in my city. I keep getting discouraged because all of the crap thathappens in my city. I can't STAND my councilman He's lazy!
But I digress...this is about you!
Umm Zed eating at the coffee table in front of the television is okay if you are all by your lonesome in your draws letting watching the game...
but if you wanna step your A Game up with the lady folks, get a damn table, and not a glass one either. Get a real table that you can slap bones on...I'm telling you it feels good!
And it's sexy...trust me!
I bet you've met a nice girl recently, Zed. I can tell it in your "voice". "A couch and a dining table"; "Lest I should settle"...
Sounds like nesting phrases to me. Will you introduce your new lady to us?
@RD
I've been trying to tell you!
@Isha
I've just been trying to be able to implement my own personal vision for the physical development of cities in the 21st Century. A lot of dysfunction in the way we interact is influenced by the way we are made to live. I want to be able to steer a big city (my preferred option was Detroit) into prosperity.
@Miss Ahmad
This ain't about ambience and mackocity. This is just about actin' like I got a home.
No glass. Gotcha. I knew wood was sexy!
@Insanity
I wish that were the case. I ain't got shit. Maybe I'm just resigned to livin' like a chump.
KZ
They have that Detroit System here in Boston too...which is why there is such high level incompetence in the local and state government, why the big dig is not finished (after fifteen years) and why the Governor's friend (who had no experience in transportation or security issues) was in charge of MassPort when the terrorists flew from Logan to NYC on 9/11.
Nepotism is cool, hire your friends, but hire your QUALIFIED friends so the whole city (country)doesnt shut down due to incompetence!
(My daily rant political, thanks for listening!)
...and GET YOUR COUCH!
(you may need it soon)
LOL
You better elaborate on some of these reasons. My goodness, it's almost a year now that you've been blogging too! Time goes by too fast.
listen Zed all this talk about being the boss and you've not made your house a home!
that's part of the perks of being the boss baby. Get crackin' and then maybe we can play like you're the boss of me on your new table...
@Chezniki
I wouldn't hire any of my friends. They can be informal advisors, but I'm not taking the flack if they fuck up!!!
For the record, you never "need" a couch. You need a bed, a couch is helpful.
@CC
Yep. It's been almost a year blogging. This shit has truly flown by.
The lessons are as follows:
1. I wanted to be "the man" so bad, I sacrificed my extra-full social calendar.
2. I used to be so cavalier about finishing anything because I knew something better would come along. And I'd forget about what I was doing before. Not anymore.
3. I met a girl at a frat party in Detroit. She came to Satan's Anus to see me. She got undressed. Loose skin everywhere. I couldn't mask my reaction. "I didn't tell you I had gastric bypass surgery."
4. These muthafuckas blame you for everything and credit you with nothing. I used to be this way with my old boss. I was here for two months and I called her to apologize for being an ass.
5. All these bastards are related. You wouldn't believe how they're related. Marriage, baby mama/baby daddy, blood, whatever. They hate each other and they're all related. Check out a woman, find out you've dated 2 of her cousins. This shit ain't fun.
@Miss Ahmad
Don't play. I'll be a plane ticket buying muthafucka.
KZ
congrats
Congrats on completing a year in Satan's Anus! I know that was no easy feat. When I first moved out of NYC....I thought the rest of the world was a step down. After working and traveling to so many different places...I think I can find a sens of home anywhere....and it usually starts with BUYING FURNITURE. Go on and get that couch. Then you can have company!
i get a little lightheaded when i think about the fact that i dont really have furniture. i've been a hall coordinator in a residence hall for the past four years (no, not in the same place) so the places i've lived have been furnished already. *sigh* the thought of getting my own place has been taking up space in the back of my mind lately though... tell me, what's it like to get "real" bills in your name in a "real" mailbox?????
@GBM
Thanks for the grats, even though I just had a rough ass evening meeting that made my ass wanna jet!
@1969
Are you flirting with me?
@FA
Forestall that bullshit as long as you can. Fuck a real bill in a real mailbox. Hold that campus down!
KZ
yeah you need to get the table and couch - they are alternate places for you to blow some chick's back out.
Congratulations Zeddie :)
I see you workin' your plan!
LOL@ your critically flawed system :)
AND... I for the record- I am in LOVE with your mind!
You are so witty and intelligent- the way you play with words... hahahahaa
@Phoenix
You ever heard of the Liberator? All furniture becomes passe when you pull that bad boy out.
@SanginDiva
Just my mind? Dang!
*zippingupzipper*
KZ
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