Friday, November 04, 2005

Thalidomide Babies

Hey y'all, what's happenin'? I'm trying to drag my ass around the office and accomplish stuff. Too much time up late at night has got me waking up sluggish. Though I'm having fun (and trust me I'm having fun), I'm on the verge of sleeping through meetings and shit. Full blown snoring in effect.

The worst of this shit is that I have to stay attentive to these helpless muthafuckas "they" call employees. Yeah, I said it. I'm downright dismissive of these bastards. One after another they come whining about one thing or another. "Mr. Zednanreh, she won't talk to me." or "Mr. Zednanreh, there are too many things on my schedule." or "Mr. Zednanreh, does this look infected to you?" and "Mr. Zednanreh, there's blood in my stool!" Blah, blah, blah.

I hate this victim shit. Go get another job. Oh, what did you say? The job market is horrible? Then you probably need to reassess all that fuckin' bellyachin' you're doing. There are muthafuckas chomping at the bit to have the same problems you got now! Trust me. This brotha (one of the few I've met here) asked me to look out for him yesterday. "Keep me in mind if a job opens in one of your sections. I'll do anything." This nigga has a master's degree in information technology. He's unemployed and starving. Don't you think this muthafucka would do a little light typing for a few months?

I used to hate when my old bosses would tell me shit like "You think you got it bad? There are worse places to be." My standard response would be "Why would you compare yourself to the worse places and not to the better places?" That shit used to make sense to my under-24 self. I realize how naive I was. I came from the City of Detroit, man. There's nothing worse than working for a broke, corrupt city. Constant threat of being laid off, political cronies getting promoted over you without a day of experience, the mayor's contributors getting their families first dibs on good, inexpensive housing [side note: if y'all Detroit muthafuckas re-elect that earring wearing, bitch killing, club hopping, miniature gorilla, you get what you deserve], all run by lethargic management that just wants to go home early. That shit is horrible.

I'll listen to these niggas bitch a little longer. After that, I'm going to convene a meeting, section by section, and list my expectations. I expect them to shut the fuck up, work hard and help one another. The next muthafucka that snitches on one of their co-workers is going to get kicked in the nuts (women too!). They are exhausting me.

Bring back the fucking She-Rockers!

P.S. Remember that class I was telling y'all about a little while ago? The last session was last night and guess what they served? Nacho chips, carrots, and brownies.


Melle Mel said...

You da Man! Suck it up!

twin said...

I love nacho,carrots and brownies

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

*Ugh* @ that food... lol, I'mma holla atchu next time I need a bitch session.

((((((( runnin )))))))

TRUTHZ said...

in law school they always remind us how someone else wanted to sit in our seat and couldn't becuz we edged them out some kinda way.. i never understood what that had to do w/ my beef that none of our copy machines are working and that our internet access is always down and the IT department does not have a clue... maybe that's why dude will do anything...he doesn't have a clue how to do what his degree says he for that, let him clean toilets.

btw, thanks for the props..ditto

Insaneblackwoman said...

Nacho chips. Carrots. Brownies.

That's a motherfucking shame, aint it.

Chubby Chocolate said...

Petty shit...Doesn't that just drain you completely of your daily allotted patience in the workplace?! I totally feel you on that.

What's wrong with nachos, carrots & brownies?!

Butterfly Jones said...

What are you like Zed! "unemployed with a master's degree", that shit must be going round because I have that same problem too!

After a full day's work, man can't study on nachos, carrots and brownies alone. Tell them bitches to come correct with some 'ard food!