Wednesday, November 02, 2005

That Gray Area

Yeah, yeah. What up folks? Smooth sailing for me. For once. I keep getting asked a lot of questions from people back home about what it's like here. "What do you do when you get home?" "Do you have anyone to hang out with yet?" "What's the deal with Batshit?"

The one thing that I don't get asked about, in fact I get warned about, is Ofay. A.K.A. Beth, Becky, Peggy Sue, Pinky Toes, Blondie, Knock-kneed Cock Devil, Gray Girl, Miss Ann. You know, white chicks. "Don't bring no white girls home" the Detroit Female Space Cadet Chorus chants.

There are a few problems with that concept. First, I can't meet broads, period, let alone go through special methods to devise a rap that is understood by the she-cracka. Second, my home is Satan's Anus, for better or for worse. Every semi-successful nigga here is married to a white woman. For that reason alone, I'll pass. Never be one of the crowd. Third, I love dark women. "Wesley Snipes and Sheryl Underwood fucking in an abandoned coal mine" dark. "Alek Wek's left asscheck in a basement bomb shelter during a blackout" dark. Really, really dark. I'll sign over my fuckin' check to a dark skinned woman with dimples. Fuggetaboutdit! Carmen Electra classifies as a dark white woman. 'Nuff said. Lastly, the concept of a white woman is often more appealing than the actuality. Blandly seasoned meals, mildly oblivious to blatantly racist activities due lifetime of unearned privilege, hair flipping, know-it-all-itis, pushiness, and a weird socialization/disposition that I'm both unwilling to learn and unable to stand.

On these long, dark nights, don't think I haven't thought about jumping the fence. It's not like I haven't done it before back in my undergraduate days. One shot experiments are one thing. Signing on for a lifetime in the Skinner Box is quite another.

But I'll never say never.

All Black, Never Gray


The_Practitioner said...

I have to say that once again we are on the same proverbial page.

SD on darkskin women - I loves me a darkskin woman. Especially one with a ass like Serena. I'm talking a woman, so dark that when she get up out of the bed, she leave a ink spot.

SD on white women - I would bag a white woman (less the ones from my tales) only if they were one privvy to the black experience, were built like a Luke dancer, had full lips, talked "black" and could cook soulfood. You show me that white woman and she got a chance with the kid. lol

And what the hell is a skinner box?

brooklyn babe said...

Okay the one day, I get to really sneak and get my blog on at work, and you got me laughing and acting a phool!

Your are too much! But thanks for keeping a sista on your menu.

Insaneblackwoman said...

Yo,Zeddy Zed:
My dad had a saying that he used with my two brothers when he was rearing them up in the world: "If it aint Black, take it back." I think that says it all. Hahahahaa!!!

Chubby Chocolate said...

This is the only time EVER on the planet earth that I will read a statement with Skinner's Box and She Craka in it. TOO DAMN FUNNY. I'm glad I didn't read this at work.

I would have needed to be peeled off my office floor...You're fresh, Zedster.

Disco said...

get the Skinner Box and Pavlov's dog together and you MIGHT have somethin' going! LOL

Gotta luv ya Zed..... gotta luv ya

Melle Mel said...

I won't be suprised if I end up seeing your ass with Beth, Becky, and Peggy Sue - hell - all at the same time.

Stay strong Zed!

twin said...

you sleep with white girls at MSU what a shock. I have never heard of such a thing, this is an out rage. Me being an MSU like your self don't know what to say but....

I did it two or three or ten times.

Butterfly Jones said...

White girls ="The Black Man's Kryptonite"!

Myrah said...

I love it! LOL!!

toneec42 said...

'"Wesley Snipes and Sheryl Underwood fucking in an abandoned coal mine" dark. "Alek Wek's left asscheck in a basement bomb shelter during a blackout" dark.'

Zed, ya killin' me ova herre!