Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Football

I beat you, Robyn!




Your IQ Is 120



Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average


Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius


Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional


Your General Knowledge is Above Average



Hey y'all. Don't be afraid women readers. I know the title has you spooked, but trust me on this one. I have an unnatural love for football. I don't write about it much, but there is no leisure time activity I love as much as watching pro football on a Sunday Afternoon. It is my Achilles heel, my one true weakness. I cannot resist a television set when a game is on. Period.

It's hard to explain how much I love a game that I was personally so bad at. I sucked at football. I'd much rather be a spectator. I loved to hit muthafuckas, but as an offensive lineman, I rarely got the opportunity. I was a lowly blocker.

Fast forward to yesterday. E.T. called me. She'd called me 3 times this weekend, too. I didn't pick up then. It was Monday, what the fuck else could be worse? She was boring me to death about something or other then she asked if I'd been to this new Black owned restaurant. I hadn't, so she suggested we go there for lunch. "Shit, cool." My standard response.

We met there and walked in together. It was a cool, eclectic little atmosphere. These hicks had been outta the Anus at least once. We took our coats off and then I saw them. Magnificient. I love football(s). I'm not a breast man, but gotdamn! Low cut shirt, heavy ass titties. I couldn't even concentrate on her dumb assed conversation. I did a lot of nodding and gawking and shit. She asked me about Batshit. I was like "Batshit who?" I was in a mammary induced daze.

The food was good. I had to put this place on my list for whenever I take another broad out. When we left I walked her to her car. "When you coming over?" I asked. "To your office?" her dumb ass responded. "No, to my place" I smiled. "Why don't you come over to my place? I bought myself a Christmas present." "What is it?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer. "A 61" flat screen TV. It would be perfect to watch football on." I had a huge smile on my face. "Well, hell yeah! We gotta do that, this weekend." "OK. You gotta pick up the phone and stop messin' with all those other women." "Bet, I'll call you."

She just ensured herself a phone call this weekend. Sometimes you just gotta outthink a simple-minded African. As dumb as I think she is, she's got me right where she wants me. Football. You gotta love it.

Stay Vigilant,
KZ

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! men.........I swear yall always using us women......ok we use yall too......

Disco said...

My response to this post in a post

*sigh*
SMDH

Blah Blah Blah said...

For the email I JUST sent (before reading this)....ummm, see if she's down for letting us watch the Super Bowl...LMAO

USER!!!! Now I see why you were telling me to get Bahamas money and run...LOL

The_Practitioner said...

I'm the same way with food. Not in the comparing it to football, but in the sense that when a woman tells me she got food over her spot or she's cooking and I'm welcome to come over, I'm usually taking a brawd up on that offer. Though I got skillz in that kitchen, this African doesn't like to cook. So a woman can get me over to spot quicker with food than she could with some ass. ;o)

On watching sports with a woman...a complete waste of testerone. Most don't get what's happening on screen and require constant explaining or they simply don't care to be watching it. So I normally save that as my alone time. lol

brooklyn babe said...

you're a mess african.....

twin said...

I love to hit a babe when the football game is on it give me something to concentrate on if she is boring the hell out of me

nikki said...

i'll just say you're not the only one obsessed with football. there are plenty of sistas out there who feel the same way, me included. my folk know not to call me on sundays in the fall and winter cuz they're bound to get cussed the fuck out otherwise. i've actually broken up with guys once i realized they didn't like football. in the meanwhile, i WISH i could find a brotha with 61 inches...of screen that is.

Superstar Nic said...

The title done not chase me away, I actually like ball to. I've been watching pro football on a Sunday's to, especially trying to see who is gonna get these wildcard slots.

Insaneblackwoman said...

And just for a few hours of football, she threw in "...you gotta stop messing with those other women." First of all, how she gone play you, my nig? If you inviting a nig to watch a little football, why it's gotta be some conditions to that? And what if you ditch the other women, take up with her, and shit don't work out...suddenly those women you ditched might decide they don't wanna be even friends withcha. Best keep your eyes open, my nig, because she already think she can control your "fuck flow" by saying that shit. African, I smell a rat.

TRUTHZ said...

that's what's up...football.. maybe i should use that...but there isn't any more monday night football, so what can my excuse be?

brooklyn babe said...

your iq test explains everything, you operate without any logical what so ever lol!!!! Ha!
Thanks for giving me that tid bit!

Anonymous said...

You beat me too