Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Weirdly Oriented

Hey peoples, I'm back. I neglected to blog about a situation that happened here this weekend I'll call "Thelma vs. Jayne Kennedy". It was kind of a non-event, but if I get some negative after effects from the situation I'll blog about the whole think and y'all can laugh at me.

This blog is about "LocHard", the woman who lived beneath me in my old place in Detroit. LocHard is a strange duck. She's about 44 -46, attractive, long-winded, socially progressive, dreadlocked woman. I dreaded going to get my mail because LocHard would catch an African, and I'd be hemmed up in a conversation about the state of the world for at least an hour. She was very passionate woman, about a lot of things. And she held a lot of strange opinions, at least shit I thought was strange. For the record, I didn't fuck her. She's a lesbian.

Anyway, when I left for Satan's Anus I gave her my info and told her to call sometimes. She e-mailed and called semi-regularly. I never returned her calls but I always e-mailed her back. On the phone I knew I'd be on for at least an hour a pop. A few weeks ago she lost her job. She knew it was coming but didn't start looking before it actually happened. So she sent me a resume and asked if I would shop it around in Satan's Anus.

Now, I know this broad is basically a weirdo. I don't have a solid reputation here yet. I didn't want to pass her resume to someone on the strength of my personality and have them interview her weird ass. I'd get a negative mark for bad judgement within the community I'm trying to build a relationship with.

She asked me if I shopped her resume and I said I hadn't yet. LocHard got irate. "I'll bet if I was one of those broads you were bringing back to the apartment, you'd have helped me out. I see the way you are, brother. That's alright. I'll remember that." Whoa, bitch! You got me fucked up! She basically implied that I dissed her because she's a lesbian. I'm not the one to claim I'm the most anti-homophobic cat in the world, but she got it twisted. A broad that I was fucking would have LESS chance of me trying to get her a gig here. I also didn't dig the threatening assed tone of the note she dropped me. "I'll remember that"? Really? OK.

I called her. I fucking hate calling her. LocHard was really concilliatory. "I just said that to light a fire under you. I know you better than that. I figured you'd just put me on the back burner, but I really need a job." So I tell her I'd see what I can do.

I'll tell y'all what I can do. Nothing. Nothing at all for this incredibly irrational, weird hoe. I wouldn't use her resume to wipe my ass. She confirmed everything I thought about her ass through that little interaction. Good luck finding that gig, LocHard. I hope it's not in Satan's Anus.

Stay Chisel,
KZ

10 comments:

TRUTHZ said...

Question: does she have your address? Beware man beware... just give her resume to peeps and be like a lady who used to live by me in the D asked me to shop this around. I don't really know her but you can give her a call if you like her resume... cuz everyone needs a job even if they are weird

Ms.Honey said...

WOW..she sounds like should could have some chicken heads boiling and chanting your name and what not. Be careful about that...I agree with truth. These days someone can take your phone number and use that to find out where you live.

Anonymous said...

You so cold. I mean you don't have to be like this is a good friend of mine, but you can just drop it off, if of course your busy life permits.

But yea we all need jobs and hell I may need a new one soon.............

Insaneblackwoman said...

You did exactly what was right and proper, Zeddy! Imagine if you had succeeded in getting her an interview or something, and she makes herself out to be a complete whacko during the interview; what do you think is gonna be the interviewer's thoughts? They gone be thinking: "Damn, I can't believe Zedediah knows this ignorant, illiterate mofo. So that tells me to assume that he must be illiterate, too." Yep, you'd a been putting your rep on the line, because you basically didn't know shit personal about LocHard. You can't speak up for people you really don't know.

Disco said...

BWAH- HA-HA!!! That was some funny-assed shit dawg!!! She sounds crazy as batsh.....never mind....

The_Practitioner said...

Tough call Zedster. I tell people up front I don't have any pull where I work, because one of the first things that happens is that people call on you to hook 'em with a job. They even play the race card (or if ya'll boning - the "Na Na Card").

By passing on that resume you are in fact co-signing that person. And what ever happens with them whether in the interview or on the job is a reflection upon you.

My rule is generally this...if i had my own business that my livelihood and survival depended on - would I hire this person? If I could honestly answer yes, then i would consider passing on a resume.

Anonymous said...

SD makes a valid point.

nikki said...

what a crazy sounding heffa! did she really think her irrational blow up was gonna put her in your good graces and make you work HARDER to get her a job? lawd, she making us dreadloc'd sistas look BAD.

brooklyn babe said...

You and these names.... I'ma start calling you "BrothaNut.."

anytime you stress up in satan ass I'm say Brotha nut....

....wait that did not come out right... but U work it out lmao!

Supa said...

New to your blog. This was funny. LocHard. LMAO.