Monday, October 30, 2006

The Flake Mistake

Excuse me for going off on this little tangent. It actually felt like it was gonna be a tangent, co-tangent, cosine and a secant for minute, but I think I've made it managable.

How many times have you given someone the benefit of the doubt when they don't come through? Or don't do the things they say they're going to do?

"Yeah, I'll meet you at the spot around 9!" "Dude, I'll watch your dog while you're away." "I'm gonna drop it in the mail after work."

When you count on someone to do shit and on a consistent basis they don't do it, when do you separate the person from the deed? I contend that you don't.

A muthafucka who does flaky shit is a flake. It's time to call a spade a spade.

We are surrounded by flakes that we explain away by saying shit like "That's just Johnny". Maaannn, fuck Johnny! Grow up, Johnny! Do what the fuck you said you'd do, Johnny!

"Yeah, I got your message, but shit kept coming up. Sorry."

I'm ready to purge all flakes before the new year. If we're cool, you'll return that call in a timely fashion. If we're cool, you'll show up when you say you're gonna show up. If we're cool, you'll fuckin' follow through. I'm not asking you to do any more than WHAT YOU SAY YOU'LL DO. If you're not gonna do it, don't fuckin' say it!

"I just flaked out". Word, bitch? I'm sure there are many areas in which you're downright dependable and efficient. I'm sure those are the things that benefit your own flaky ass, which means your overall flakiness is an act of aggression.

So, I contend it's time to stop separating the flaky act from the person and call it like it is. Fuck the flakes.



Anonymous said...

Do I sense some pent up frustration!!!

Knockout Zed said...

Ya think? Nowadays, people tend to think it's OK to just not follow though. It's ridiculous, because they give us a bullshit excuse and we let it slide. I'm done with it.


Anonymous said...

I feel you. What happened to "are you my brothers keeper" ???

Niggas and flies

1969 said...

You know I gotta ask right?


But I totally agree. This weekend we took 40 customers to the Eagles game. When I looked around at halftime, two of my coworkers had snuck out and gone home. NICE.

The Brown Blogger said...

Been there, done that. On both sides I admit.

I don't usually flake out though. So nowadays I just do thangs on my own. Doesn't hurt as much.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...


Disco said...


Who bit YO dick off in yo sleep????

I used to be that "flake" becuase I was a "people-pleaser".....not anymore. In 90% of situations (yeah, I might be 10% flaky...... excommunicate me if you want to NIGGA...I will FIND YOU) I am just not going to say that I can do it. I add "qualifiers" like " If that, then...." or "I MIIIGHT be able to....." or "I will see IF I can...."

I try not to commit or OVER-commit because I sooooooooo do not want to be at the receiving end of THIS. VERY.TYPE.OF.TIRADE. (it's happened to me TOO many times in the past!)

I mean, I have GOOD intentions when I SAY that I wll do something, it's just that sometimes when it comes time to do it, I simply don't feel like it......

Is that flaky? Oh-fucking-well if it is. The difference is that NOW, I try NOT to have folks expecting me (i try and now am more than 99% effective in doing so).**pats own back**

I understand your anger, but I understand the flakes too......


C'est la vie.

Knockout Zed said...

I'm sick of being the dependable cat and I can't depend on anybody.

In general, I hate people and people hate me. But in those instances where I need a little help, I'm fucked. And I pride myself on being there for a friend when needed.

I have to admit to slipping out early on muthafuckas, but not when I've been asked to do something THROUGHOUT a function.

Saying "no" up front is cool. That works. But saying "yes" and then just not showing, that's getting old. I'mma start calling cats on that.


Anonymous said...

we are so in the same spot. I just flicked a flake this weekend. Tired of that crap.

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad
Yeah, I know. I'll do better.

You talk about this rep as a flake, but I promise you I don't remember you ever doing that shit to me. Or maybe I'm just having revisionist history. I never remember you saying you'd be somewhere and not show.

I had a rep for always being there for a people. Then I started flaking. Now I'm back to the follow through thing, mostly because of my staff and how they drop the fuckin' ball.

People pleasing is a bitch. We just have to start getting comfortable saying "no" and be done with it. It's better to hear "no" upfront and be able to deal with it as such.

I bet that felt GOOOOOOOD!


Blah Blah Blah said...

Well....the fact that I just told you that I had 11 messages on my cellphone since last week and I just listened to them bitches yesterday....guess you can say I am a flake. But when it's the whole phone thing and calling people...answering messages...yea...that shit is hard as fuck to do.
HOWEVER mon frier...if I say I'mma do something (has to be a legit request) than I am 9 out of 10 times gonna do it. 'Cause I hate a muthafucka that isn't on time, inconsistent and a whiner when they want their shit to fly when they've blown you off a billion and one times.
Can't stand bitches (men and women) who you can't depend on for shit but are quick to turn around and ask you for some shit...and act like they need that shit ASAP when they know their ass was flaky when you need a friend!

*I think you and I have been on the same shit lately....wus your sign again?...LOL*

Blah Blah Blah said...

....bring back the skeptic look....

they was checking for you when you had them big ol' lips up there


Honest said...

Uhhh I feel ya. A friend flacked on me last night and honestly I'm not 100% surprised but I wish she hadn't done it AFTER I called her because I was waiting for her for over 20 minutes at a restaurant table with another friend. 1) We could have ordered when we arrived and not waited eating all that bread we had no business eating 2) we could have a made a decision to postponne and I could have eated at home instead of spending $30 on dinner at a place I wasn't even thrilled about.

Knockout Zed said...

Side Note: I'm wearing a suit I bought on sale a few weeks ago. I just got it back from the tailor. It feels cheap as fuck! Like I'm wearing a suit made of construction paper. Hence the fuckin' price!

Well, you kinda flaked out on the messages but ONLY if you were dodging the call of someone you promised to do something for.

Unreliable people always get pissed when the shoe is on the other foot. I'm the most prompt person in the world and muthafuckas get mad at me 'cuz I'm ON TIME. WTF?

I tell you, mon ami, we are on the same shit lately.

Don't nobody wanna see them big ass sausage link lips again.


Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Everybody can't do everything every time. I think some people, myself included, stretch themselves too thin trying to be all things to all people. Instead of just saying they can't, they back themselves into a corner and end up looking like a flake. I know I have flaked out on a few people...I can't even lie. Shit happens! I do try to call and cancel, though.

Knockout Zed said...

Getting flaked on at a restaurant is the worst shit, especially when you're obstensibly there for that person. That's some shit!


Knockout Zed said...

If the event is approaching and it doesn't look good for you, and you give the heads up, it should be cool. That would be cool with me. But the day of, just not showing? That sucks! It's all about the magic word "no". Some people won't take no for an answer. Those people you can flake on!


Anonymous said...

I'm guilty of not giving folks the benefit of the doubt to begin with. I expect you to screw up or flake out ... so I'm never disappointed. Sometimes I'm surprised.

Knockout Zed said...

That's a novel approach. I figure if we're cool and I ask you for something not too intrusive and you say "yes", then it's a go. It's the one area in which I'm an optimist.


BZ said...


aquababie said...

i try my best to live up to my word. i swear i feel as if i was born the most dependable person in the world. i wonder if that's on the same gene as the people pleasing thing.

i am getting better telling folk "no" these days. in fact, my cold shoulder is working quite well...

Robert L. Mack said...

I'm agreeing with Hassan here. Due to flakiness, I've become very independent. Because when someone let's you down, that shit stings. I was mad at my boy for a while for not coming over while I was at work to let the cable guy in. I had to eventually leave work early to get it done. But that's still my boy and I love him to death. I just know not to ever come to him for anything important.

Oh and I'm terrible at calling back. You're better off emailing me.

Anonymous said...

*chanting* Fuck the flakes, fuck the flakes!

I'm feeling your pain, so I won't dare say don't let it get you down and all that jazz. Fuck the flakes, go for self and keep it movin' baby. They'll need you way before you need them.

Knockout Zed said...

You feel my pain!

The power of "no" is unlimited. I'll be there for those who are there for me, starting now.

The calling back thing is a killer for me. If I call you and you e-mail me back, that's a dis. I'm taking it as such, too.

Especially when I'm stalled out in the boondocks and my friend is in the city, he's gotta help me out when I don't have access to shit.

They better hope that they don't need me. Today is a new beginning. I'm wiping the slate clean until they fuck up again. Then it's on.


Rashan Jamal said...

It absolutely sucks when you do stuff for people and when you need something, they say they will call you back and dont. That's why I don't rely on anybody for anything if I can help it. I learned that lesson in the past, and I learned it again this weekend.

Miz JJ said...

I will bend over backwards for my girls so if they flake on me then I just make a little mental note of it in my head. If it keeps happening I just phase them out of my life. My life is too short for that type of frustration.

Mr.Slish said...

I think I'm gonna go hiiide somewhere..Not Gonna LIE not Gonna LIE..I do that shit constantly...Say I'm going to do something then hope the invidual forgets about or finds someone else..

Flakes like me are just eager to please the masses..We don't mean to be flaky..Just that we say yes so much and have to follow through on so much other shit that someone might get the short end of the stick...

NOW!! I know what you're going to say "Then why say yes" Well maybe at the time we said yes the task at hand was probably doable then you remember you promised to do a favor for someone else that asked first. What do you do? You don't want to flake out on that person since you did the same thing to them that you're about to do to the person who asked for the favor in the first place.

Zed all i'm saying is Flakes are misunderstood and need direction. If you explain to us what you need us to do is extremely important and I mean you have to stress IT!!! Like call every other day just to make sure More than likely the task will be carried out.

Its sad. I know. Grown folk should do what they say and say what they do.

Knockout Zed said...

I'm not a favor asking machine and shit. I'm sure you're not either. So to get fucked over based on a rarely asked thing, that's never anything major, you gotta start questioning the worthiness of your friend. Fuck 'em.

My little notes to myself are getting longer and longer.

You actually make a valid point. The scope of the favor and moreso, what performing the favor symbolizes is not always apparent to the person who is being asked to perform it.

I've just come to the tipping point from my perspective. I remember when I was the only cat with a car with a lot of my friends. I remember being asked to use my car, my apartment, asked to lend money, and I was always there. I feel like a damn fool to not be able to ask these cats for anything and be able to count on them.

sunshine said...

Man do I feel you! I can't stand when people do that sh*t to me. I am always on time, when I say I am going to do something-you know it's done. But you got those bastards that are so inconsiderate, selfish and all about themselves who could care less.

Little Brown Girl said...

that would be me...*sigh*

Angel said...

flakes should be handles in one of two ways:
1. throw some milk on their ass (or whatever white, milky substance YOU prefer zeddy ruxpin


2. wash them right outta your hair with some shampoo especially that has t-gel. i've always thought the t probably stood for trifling anyway...

Knockout Zed said...

I can't even bring myself to do little payback shit to them. That's how I know being flaky is who they are and not just isolated.

Damn, you're a flake? Really? *sigh*

Oh, I'd need a lifetime supply of milk or T-Gel, stat!