Monday, October 30, 2006

Stupidity Is Free

I'm sitting in my living room. It's dark and I wanna go somewhere. I have no place to go. I've been here, in this city since July 2005, and I don't have any idea where to go. I just finished this book I was reading and I wanna do something other than reading.

The boredom is overwhelming. I can't talk to any of my co-workers, because I don't really have any. Some of my best friends in Detroit were the dudes I worked with. These corny dudes around here are murder. I can't talk to these cats, not that my circle was extra large at home.

The women here aren't really what I'm used to. There is something underneath the surface I can't put my finger on. It's frustrating talking to them, so I don't.

I'm beginning to hate talking on the phone. Everytime I hang up, I hate it here even more. I talked to my mother today which is always a bad discussion. I called her because I was feeling bad, thinking it would be a cool conversation this time. It was torturous, dog.

I was leaving work today and it was beautiful outside. The only thing I could think of is that I got approximately 30 more years of this shit.

Man, fuck this.



Miz JJ said...

You just described my exact night. Except I love talking to my mom. And stop talking crazy. You are not staying in SA for 30 years.

Knockout Zed said...

My moms puts on what I like to call "The Criticism Hour". Fun for the whole family.

I'm not talking about SA for 30, I'm talking about working, period.


aquababie said...

the anus can't be as boring as where i live. at least you can drive to detroit. hang in there.

am i the only person that actually likes talking to their moma?

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i was gonna say something sarcastic and mean, but i changed my's your lucky day:-)

listen the weather is changing, the time just changed and your moods seem to be doing the same. Winter is a dark cold place, that's why I live in California.

Be nice to yourself, even though you are a total jerkstore, you're no worse than anyone else out here, and if you aren't kind to Zed no one else will be.

If that doesn't work drink as much Cisco as your body can handle and I'll be you forget about all of your troubles:-)

Angel said...

hmmm...a little extra pensive i see..happy monday to you still boo! ;-)

Anonymous said...

I co-sign with Miss Ahmad on the Cisco. Don't forget about the Mad Dog, Twenty-twen...

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

in a pinch St Ides will do, as well of Colt 45 if you can find it!

1969 said...

Some Brass Monkey or Thunderbird will work too!

Zed, I is for the birds. Put your entrepreneurial hat on and come up with a great idea to get you on the road to early retirement. Otherwise, you are right....30 more years of this crap.

Mr.Slish said...

You and I must have the same mother...They're not going to change. I swear my momma thinks i'm a loser..

On the real...Use the free time you have and start writing...Both of us need to start putting our wild imaginations to good use and get a few dollars while doing it...Write young man write!!

Knockout Zed said...

You can't believe the sheer boredom combined with the cliquish nature of the the people makes for a bad time.

I know people who like talking to their mother, just not very many of them.

Speaking of people who like talking to their mothers...

@Miss Ahmad
OK, I get it, I'm an asshole!

And yes, drinking will be an option this winter. Hopefully time will pass quicker.

I had to write in lieu of slitting my wrists.

I'mma stay "fortified", trust me.

@Miss Ahmad, again
Ah the Malts, the kings of liquors.

I was hoping to write myself outta working forever. But that takes committment and hard work, so I'm back to square one.

My mother thinks I'm a loser, too. To hear all the shit I'm doing wrong all the time is tiresome. I don't even know why I thought calling her yesterday would be different.

Writing is the best option. But for me it's a real moody activity. I really have to be in the mood to write. I've been trying to work through it, but it's rough.


Anonymous said...

I'm one of those people that loves talking to my mama...but in person more than on the phone. I kinda hate talking on the phone and the fact that she doesn't know how to end a conversation kinda makes it hard for me. But I love talking to her none-the-less.

Dude, you need to get up and out of SA. Or find a hobbie.

Little Brown Girl said...

Tht's my everyday! I'm like why the fuk do I continue to get up and do the same wack azz routine each day. It's terrible!

Blah Blah Blah said...

Ummm, my life is cool. I like it. I complain but in the end...get rid of the cry-baby and things are great!

Your not an asshole! Not all the time...not always. I'm not sure what a jerkstore is... but your not that either... well...not to me. HA!

As for know you don't drink by yourself! Why are you even entertaining the idea...ok...maybe you are a jerkstore....for thinking about drinking in a dark livingroom with the odd glow of Sports Center in the background as you ponder the emptiness in "The Anus" for being a loser....we'll that's something you have to squabble out with moms...

onefromphilly said...

Zed..don't get back into that funk. You were doing so well. You had two good dates and your mood was a little up-beat. Don't go back to that dark hole. Write, exercise, take up a hobby, volunteer. There are so many people in this world less fortunate than you.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

heeey, i only called you a jerkstore. i said nothing about you being an asshole.

I was trying in mine own way to tell you you're ain't half bad. maybe a quarter but not half.

and be nice to yourself and the world will play follow the leader.

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

My attitude about Boston is starting to Mirror this post. Change gone come...

Knockout Zed said...

It the fuckin' dark and the cold that makes it worse. In the summer, you hardly realize the routine you've become accustomed to. When winter hits, it becomes all too apparent.

Everybody cries. Just not so publicly, that's all.

My moms used to say I was a loser for getting kicked out of college. Then after I graduated, implied I was a loser for not having a Master's degree. Once I got the Master's, she didn't think I had what it took to be in charge. Now that I'm almost in charge, I'm a loser for not having a wife. Thus, the saga continues.

I used to not give a fuck about people's opinions and shit. I find myself contemplating all the time whether or not people "really" like me. This is a strange place I'm in right now. I can't shake it.


Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad
OK, I thought asshole was implied. I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. That being said, I'm still a jerkstore!

You tryin' to leave Boston? For where? What's good?


Anonymous said...

its dark in your living room?


Robert L. Mack said...

I say call the right person and that might change your tone just a tad, get it?

Knockout Zed said...

@Editor Shawn
You're the shit! I mean that literally.

Yeah, I think you're right.


aquababie said...

ok, from your description, i wouldn't enjoy talking to my mom either. doesn't she realize how great a person you are...or is this some type plan to get you super-motivated? it ain't working

Knockout Zed said...

I forgot my mom's weight talk, didn't I. Also, I'm fat. Thanks, mom!

My mother is competing against other mothers in who has the livest son. That's it. She also wants more grandchildren. That's the crux of it. I gotta be perfect.

Did you wear that to work? That's kinda hot!


aquababie said...

ok, you gonna make me call my moma! when i talk to my friends, i can only imagine how it is to have a moma that doesn't think you're good enough. hell you could be in jail and be impregnating half of the anus. you're a stand-up dude from what i gather by reading here.

and yes i did, but i keep my boobs in though. i ain't trying to start a riot. i even have a little tail! LOL i'm having a little fun for today. :)

sunshine said...

Ok- You need to uproot to a new place with more folks on your level.

But I need to do the same thing..

Knockout Zed said...

@Aqua, again
Maybe she gives me props in private, but not to me. My father used to be her partner in crime, but he has changed drastically. He's always saying how proud he is of me.

Yeah, keep the puppies covered up. No need to fuck with dudes while at work.

I'll be ready to go soon. I'm starting to think I'm limiting myself by just looking on this CONTINENT. We'll see.


Supa said...

So wathchu gonna do, African?? (re: the next 30 years)


Knockout Zed said...

Supa! Mama I know you busy, but I gotta get a signed book from you.