First of all, I'd like to thank everybody (except that Anonymous jackass) who gave me recommendations for my Happy Hour playlist. Especially to BZ, who brought her "A" game to the table and sent me a list of stuff I could use. I'm currently compiling songs that I'll use.
On Friday I went to a surprise party for one of my frat brothers. His wife emailed all of us and asked us to be at this restaurant at 6:00 pm. When my frat brother and his wife arrived at 6:30 pm, there were only 3 of us there for the surprise. Everybody else showed after he and his wife. Black people really know how to fuck up a surprise party. We got to put that CPT shit in check. If not for work, for each other!
Saturday another one of my frat brothers had his birthday party at one of the little clubs in town. When I walked in, it was like that dream. You know that dream, when you're confronted with all the unpleasant people from your past in one room? Am I the only one that has that dream?
It was a small gathering, so of the 10 women there, I think I'd talked to 5 of them. And another one of 'em I was cock-blocked from hooking up with. This place is small, for real. So I spent the time touting the little happy hour thing we are having next week. Look, money is money. I don't care who the fuck shows up, as long as it makes me look good on the bottom line. Anyway, one of the women I was talking to was out with "The Transplants", the night I was wearing the Single Moms shirt. I'll call her Wanda because she's short, funny and nasally like Wanda Sykes. Wanda says, "That was a wack ass flyer I got on the email. It was wack and generic." Gotta love that bluntness. Somebody has to love it. "I did my best", I respond. "Your best was wack."
The women spent their time complaining about the lack of tall dudes in the house. I was the tallest dude there and I'm not that tall. At 6'3", I'm probably one of the shortest of my boys. I was trying to lecture them on not selling a short dude "short", because I hate that sort of profiling. They all said the same thing, "Why do you care?" "Because y'all swimmin' in a shallow pool and you keep dumpin' water out. You better adjust them parameters a little." They responded by getting the fuck outta there and heading towards the 'hood spot. That's the ticket, find a tall felon. Idiots.
On Friday I went to a surprise party for one of my frat brothers. His wife emailed all of us and asked us to be at this restaurant at 6:00 pm. When my frat brother and his wife arrived at 6:30 pm, there were only 3 of us there for the surprise. Everybody else showed after he and his wife. Black people really know how to fuck up a surprise party. We got to put that CPT shit in check. If not for work, for each other!
Saturday another one of my frat brothers had his birthday party at one of the little clubs in town. When I walked in, it was like that dream. You know that dream, when you're confronted with all the unpleasant people from your past in one room? Am I the only one that has that dream?
It was a small gathering, so of the 10 women there, I think I'd talked to 5 of them. And another one of 'em I was cock-blocked from hooking up with. This place is small, for real. So I spent the time touting the little happy hour thing we are having next week. Look, money is money. I don't care who the fuck shows up, as long as it makes me look good on the bottom line. Anyway, one of the women I was talking to was out with "The Transplants", the night I was wearing the Single Moms shirt. I'll call her Wanda because she's short, funny and nasally like Wanda Sykes. Wanda says, "That was a wack ass flyer I got on the email. It was wack and generic." Gotta love that bluntness. Somebody has to love it. "I did my best", I respond. "Your best was wack."
The women spent their time complaining about the lack of tall dudes in the house. I was the tallest dude there and I'm not that tall. At 6'3", I'm probably one of the shortest of my boys. I was trying to lecture them on not selling a short dude "short", because I hate that sort of profiling. They all said the same thing, "Why do you care?" "Because y'all swimmin' in a shallow pool and you keep dumpin' water out. You better adjust them parameters a little." They responded by getting the fuck outta there and heading towards the 'hood spot. That's the ticket, find a tall felon. Idiots.
Be Cool,
KZ
25 comments:
LMBOA @ "That's the ticket, find a tall felon. Idiots."
We all do it. I know I prefer tall men, but men also look for what they find visually pleasing *cough*lightskinlonghair*cough*. Everyone needs to expand their parametres.
LMAO! That was too funny. I ain't gonna deny. I'm 5'3 and I like my men over 6'0. I think it's a subconscious "selective breeding" thing. I like dominant traits, and height, to make up for my shortcomings (no pun intended). Maybe if I find a tall, slim, brown dude with good eye-sight, my kids will have a better chance surviving with the fittest. LOL
OH, and glad I could help with the music. :-) I have more where that came from if you need more.
CLASSIC!
You know my story, Im in Boston. I dont think Blackgurls (those who want a Blackman) up here have any water in our shallow pools... maybe some mud ...and a discarded beer can. Short professional Black dudes in Boston want tall thin blondes
:-o
But I kinda understand those ladies. Its just easier to feel the love in the hood. Im worth two drinks in Downtown. Im worth four drinks six dances and two phone numbers in the 'hood, LOL!
Maybe Im lazy... Or maybe I just bloom where Im planted...
A tall felon?? Ahahahahahaha
The hood does have it's strange attraction. One thing is that all you have to do is Be. The hood doesn't require anything from you. You can come in dance, drink, talk shit, and leave. One just has to remember not to take it home with you! Our saying back in the day was "leave the streets in the street"!
LMAO @ cheznikivox "Its just easier to feel the love in the hood. Im worth two drinks in Downtown. Im worth four drinks six dances and two phone numbers in the 'hood"
That's classic!!
Gotta luv picky ass tricks. First, you should've told her if it was wack, then you do it over, skank. But that's just me....
Secondly, I'm short, and I've dated people from my height on up to 6'7, and if they can take care of me in all ways...it's all good. LOL But I won't deny I love to ride on the tall rides at the park the most. Lemme stop....hell, all the men who keep professing their love to me (excluding one) are about 5'6 at the most.
Them tall dudes seem to be coming up short in my life right now. They actin all scurred. LMAO
Your best was wack
Damn.
I was out with a friend over the weekend and a friend of hers brought out some dude for her to meet. When said dude was out of earshot her friend said:
"So what do you think?"
He's short.
"He makes 80k a year!"
Yeah but he's short.
I got her point (she earns a paycheck so his paycheck is irrelevant) but they continued to go back and forth. Just like he didn't want to date a big girl she didn't want to date a short guy. Same thing.
@Miz JJ
I'm not that dude, trust me. The light skin, long hair dude, I ain't him. Love that Canadian spelling of "parametres"!
@BZ
Why shut out the short dudes? They need love too!
The music was on point. I hope the FBI don't drop down on me for pirating.
@Chezniki
Are brothers still on that bullshit? I get where the sisters were coming from to an extent, but if you're 5'4", anything over 5'7" is being greedy! These dudes were doing well, educated, professionals who got the flux 'cuz dey short. Not ugly, not obnoxious, but short. Dang!
@OneFrom
The hood here is just wack! If you relish THIS hood, you are truly bottom feeding.
@Syn
Tall dudes coming up short? Neva that!
KZ
@Chele
It's all subjective.
My boy Hutty is 5'5". He makes $200K per year. He looks mighty tall standing on the hood of his Black SLK55 AMG. I bet his dick looks bigger on an all expenses paid vacation in Martinque.
It shouldn't be about money, but sometimes it is. Just like it shouldn't be about weight or looks, or sex. But sometimes it is.
KZ
you were just feeling cocky in your favorite tee shirt. you ain't fooling me!
They're just faking the funk right now, so that's why I say they're coming up short in my life. But best believe me, I'm not giving up on the tall ones.
@ KZ: Ok, so I'm only 5'3. I can work with 5'5 (Sandman was only 5'6). You want to introduce me to your friend? LMAO!
I could use a good vacation (among other things). ;-)
I think your pretty tall and this is coming from a tall woman. LMAO at "That's the ticket, find a tall felon. Idiots" Zeddie your cynical azz is absolutely hilarious to me. I was having a very rough day but this post made me smile...thanks for that!!! I can always depend on you to put a smile on my face, even when you aint trying.
were these amazon women or something?? i'm 5'2" and anything over 5'9" is tall to me :) i've dated men 6'0" and over and lawd that came be a mess of work! LOL
but I give you this for pondering....
Are those chicks ANY different from your garden variety "detroit-hood-chick"???????
**sigh**
Didn't think so......
@Knockout-Maybe so, but I like to rest my head on a Brother's chest BEFORE we lay down... so that's in the 6'3" to 6'5" range(Im five-four and a half)
This may be a "sour grapes" situation, but my preference is based on past 'success.' I like young, redbone, tall, thick, blue collar men who grew up south of Providence, because they are the ones who show me love.
Im 'supposed' to date/ f*ck/ marry a Professional man. But if they dont want me then what am I supposed to do? Buy a cat and rocking chair and stay home clutching my bible? Neva nuna dat!
@One-You put your finger right on it. You can just be yourself in the 'hood. Im not gonna become a thin, lightskinned, pouty 25 year old with perky breasts and slanty eyes anytime soon (a did buy some hair, though LOL). This is it, this is me, and Im pretty fabulous. If thats not enough? To the left, To the left, MFer!
((stepping down from soapbox))
the hood gets a bad rap and although i'm not from the hood i have spent some time in the hood and compared the middle class silver spoon in their mouth momma bought 'em their first BMW when they turned 16 guys i grew up with, there's something to be said for a man who still some drive in him who understands where's he's from and where he's trying to get.
can't knock a brother for having some street sense to go with that book smarts cuz hell these days even your republican president is a gangsta.
i get teased for talking like a valley girl in the hood, but i bet i could still pull one if i needed to:-)
LMAO women including some I know are always bitching about not finding quality men but then are going to bitch and moan about a dudes height. I'm guilty of making a few "climb him" statements but at the end of the day if dude is "like that" then I'll have to just hang with my 5' 5" dude.
@Miss Ahmad
You never cease to amaze!
@Syn
Thanks for that.
@BZ
Ol' boy is married and off the market. Chicks laughed a lot, cracked short jokes, etc. His wife is getting the last laugh.
@RD
The thing is, they thought I'd be cool since I wasn't the target of their wrath. When I would be around Three, chicks would call me "the short one". When they saw us apart, they'd be like "Dang, you're tall". Pure silliness.
I'm glad I could make you smile, I'm getting the flux in that regard.
@Aqua
The tallest one was gumpy-lookin' E.T. at a staggering 5'7". They wuz frontin'.
@Robyn
Yeah, you're right. But at least in the "D" you don't have only hood chicks to choose from.
@Chezniki
Blue collar <> Thug muthafucka. I don't equate them at all. I get blue collar, I don't get the cat that sleeps on your couch when you're at work.
@Miss Ahmad
THIS hood has no redeeming value. I grew up in some pretty dire surroundings, but this shit is horrible.
@Honest
Yeah, I've heard a few offers to climb Zednanreh Mountain, but that doesn't mean I'll forsake my shorter brothers. I ain't better because of genetic chance.
KZ
Here is my wisdom on the topic. (And this is coming from a married woman).
SHORT MEN TEND TO F*CK TO THE LEFT.
Ladies, you will feel me on this. For some reason, the height disparity causes them to try and overcompensate and afterwards, your whole left side is jacked up for some reason.
I will stick with tall anyday. Better control and traction.
@Sixy
Damn. Sorry.
@Mack
My preference is dark women but these days I've been spending my time on the lighter side of things. The view is not bad from here. A bubble is cool, but the hook is better. Do a Google search (not at work!!!) on "backbite" and tell me what you think.
KZ
@Knockout-True True.
I guess with Slishy gone, you have to take up the Blogger male/female relationship posts.
@1969-LMBBAO!
To the left! To the left!...Now slide, Baby slide! OMG!
((holding my side, crying))
HA- find a tall felon...got my coworkers wondering what I'm laughing at.
Coming from a father who is 6'9" I can't say that I dont perfer em taller but I've dated the shorties too. A good man is a good man but we all have preferences.
1969 got me falling out damn chair wit short men doin the do to the left. Makes me wanna go out and test that theory (going to the rolodick to see who is on the short list)
@Chez
See what I'm sayin'? I knew you'd feel me.
@"J"
Short list? Punny, punny stuff!
KZ
Give me talk dark and handsome any day!
See the ladies know. I dated this short guy once and it had to end. LOL
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