Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Twenty Three Days...

...makes a habit. What have you done for the past twenty three days straight of the new year? Liar! I've been getting more and more aggravated each day, so that's something, right? Guess what? After much back and forth with HR, the director, and everybody else in the world, your favorite deputy director sent out a little email yesterday to all staff that went something like this:

Unusual scents or str.ong odors may trigger re.actions in our staff and/or customers. Please refrain from using heav.ily scen.ted pers.onal care products in order to enhance acc.essibility for everyo.ne. Tr.eat this as a m.atter of department policy. Your cooper.ation is greatly apprec.iated.

That was it. that little blurb has been causing a shitstorm (figuratively!) around here. Most people (my boss included) thinking it went too far. Wispy and Evette didn't think it went far enough. Evette, a sista, went so far as to tell me the little policy didn't address burnt popcorn smell, which makes her ill. All day long people have been coming up to me, "Hey boss, how do I smell?" My response, "Neutral. Just as the policy dictates." Assholes!

Male Blogger shout out

Rob Mack had a comment in my last post that made me think about something. What's with Black people and the words "moot" and "fathom"? (For the record, Rob Mack knows the difference!!!) Damn near eight times out of ten, Black folks will say the wrong fucking word. Instead of "moot" they'll say "mute". Instead of "fathom" they'll say "phantom". It's 2007, get that shit together. I can't phantom that we don't understand the difference.

I wanted to take a minute to thank Slisher/Slasher and Hassan for being stand up dudes. Everybody's got REAL shit going on in their own lives, but both these brothers read the lines and read between the lines and reached out to me. I appreciate it. Both of y'all got projects to finish, get to it!!!

I'm Out,


onefromphilly said...

I decided a long time ago that worrying about people using the wrong word, using a word improperly, or mispronunciation of a word is a mute point. HA!

Knockout Zed said...

Gotta luv it though, don't ya?


onefromphilly said...

And about that Scent Policy!!! I would have given you shit all day long for sending that out.

(I know your hand was forced, but I still would have f*cked with you about it.)

Anonymous said...

Mute and Phantom ... oh brother. Now I don't feel bad about the "I digress" comment.

You really work with a bunch of idiots. I see more and more why you hate it.

Nexgrl said...

You and that scent e-mail are a sign of the times.

I work in a public library and the librarians want to limit the scents our co-workers wear. They eat some funky food, and they are greedy, so they don't care about those smells......BUT, we work in a PUBLIC library. Funky patrons walk in and out of here all day long. Some of them even stay in here all day.

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

How about except and accept...LOL!

Knockout Zed said...

It's still getting crazy. They keep complaining.

Thank you. And the idiocy don't stop once I leave in the evening.

We got a public facility too. How the hell can you be persnickety and you eat like a fuckin' NFL lineman? She eats some heinous shit.

Have you ever been in a meeting and an African says "pacifically" and they mean "specifically"? Hilarity ensues!


Disco said...

you're kidding right? GROWN ASSED people who do not know the DIFFERENCE between those words......

That's a DAMN shame.....


A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

what's this boyz club shout out?

okay well i'm gonna give myself a shout out for continuing to believe that Zed can and will fall helplessly and hopelessly in love with life and a woman to add value to said life!

cheers to me!

I mean to you!

or whatever:-)

The Brown Blogger said...

I cannot fathom why africans round my workpiece bathe themselves in the cheapest, loudest and mindboggingly repulsive swap mart bought scents and think that shit is okay.

I guess it becomes a moot issue when I bring in all of on my Egyptian Musk smelling shit from the crib and peddle it off at 10 bux a bottle.

1969 said...

Irregardless, good post.....LOL

Angel said...

one of my co-worker/classmates had me dying the other day when she said that our professor thought he was better than us "just because he had a jurisprudence degree..." i just looked at her and nodded my head slowly before asking her what type of school one would have to attend to get that type of degree... ;-)

NegroPino™ said...

We not allowed to microwabe popcorn at my job..there are signs around the microwaves too..apparetnly some years ago, the popcorn was making the fire alarms go off in the builing.....

I didnt know conversate wasnt even a word !!!!!Who Knew

Knockout Zed said...

You know you've met some ignorant asses floatin' around corporate America. I can't be the only one.

@Miss Ahmad
I shout you out daily, you just be missin' 'em. And stop posting dirty pics on your page so I can go to it at work!

I'm sure some of my people actually shower in cheap cologne. I'm certain of it.

LOL! I never get enough of shit like that!

Y'all are actually making my ass laugh out loud! Did you really ask her that?

Y'all reason for not microwaving popcorn is much better than ours.

Yeah, "conversate" is one of my super big pet peeves.


Miz JJ said...

If you do not understand big words, perhaps you should not use them. Seems simple enough to me.

That scent policy had me cracking up. Where I work we would probably have hired a consultant to come in and give brown bag lunch sessions on the scent issue to develop a policy based on consensus. My head hurts just thinking about it.

Robert L. Mack said...

thanks man, I think listening to a lot of sports talk radio shows and guys who call themselves "english and journalism" majors have influenced a lot of my writing and speaking style....that being said, I'm still the same guy who will eff up from time to time with my your/you're and their/there/they're...

I think Biggie messed up a lot of people with conversate...

Here's another: What about "efforting"?

And what about advise and advice...I see that a lot of times

The Stiltwalker said...

I'm an excellent speller.

Hay, what about the muslims and their incense? That shit is loud...

SynSational said...

I just still can't believe you even had to write that damn thing. Wait, yes, I can. Still a damn shame.

BZ said...

irregardless (regardless)

aks (ask)

conversate (converse)

for all intense/ive purposes (for all intents & purposes)

oblige (obligate)

*rolling eyes*

That scent policy is funny. But, I'm mad at old girl for commenting about burnt popcorn. WTF? Get over it!

calikim9 said...

What about the people of say they are allergic to colognes but they take smoke breaks and when they come back to the office they smell like they cut and rolled a whole pack of cigarettes?

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

you gotta admit it was kinda genious of me to shout myself out though wasn't it?

Disco said...

@ BZ: here's another one

Sufficive to say (suffice it to say)

LAWD!!! Learn ENGLISH (the advanced kind people if you're over 21)!!!!

aquababie said...

that scent policy is a trip! those folk should come to my job. i could hook up some ammonia or some other repugnant smelling shit and that would be all she wrote :)

and our lab director says liberry...i have to keep from laughing in his face.