Thursday, January 11, 2007

Humor, Part II

On the phone with Three two days ago
Three: How long y'all been talkin'?
KZ: (thinking) Since October.
3: That's a lot of fuckin' talkin'.

Email from Endo, yesterday
Old man, you just decided to dis me on Saturday. Can a sister get a call back? Dang! Is it because I'm a virgin? LOL. It's all good. I guess you got busy.

Conversation with my boss today
Context: Every job I've ever had since college has given me MLK Day off as a paid holiday. Not this one. They allow you to volunteer in the community instead of working that day (you bring back proof that you actually volunteered) . Black people here usually take the day off using a vacation day as a way to protest the policy. As a result, city government looks bad. They desperately need Black city employees to participate in volunteer photo ops.
AQ: You doing anything Monday?
KZ: Yep. I'm taking the day off to celebrate MLK Day properly.
AQ: Oh. Nevermind.

Staff person at the Secretary of State's (DMV equivalent) office last night as I renewed my car registration
Lady: Did you play football?
KZ: Once upon a time.
Lady: College? Pro?
KZ: High school.
Lady: You've got that kind of build. Why'd you quit?
KZ: (irritated) It bored me.
Lady: Was it the pain? Were you scared of getting hurt?
KZ: (more irritated) No, it bored me.
Lady: The pain scares a lot of people off. You shoulda kept it up.

Bugaboo, My four year old nephew who can't remember my name
Hey, like the green shirt, big guy! (then he gives me the thumbs up)

Note to Mos Def
Muthafucka, if you ever decide to take a shit inside a CD case and sell it for $15 a shot again, you need to let Africans know. Black Dante, Pretty Flaco, or whoever the fuck you are, you can get jumped! True Magic my ass!

Be Easy,
KZ

19 comments:

The Brown Blogger said...

Word is born on that Mighty Mos shit.

1969 said...

NOOOO...Mos' CD is garbage? Say it ain't so.

Nice shirt big guy!

Disco said...

LOL @ Three...but feelin him.....

Yeah, I said it....

Anonymous said...

Loving the humor, big guy!

onefromphilly said...

Come on now... you know the lady at the DMV was bored senseless! You should have entertained her with your tales of glory when you played for the Lions. And since she wasn't listening to your answers anyway...the time you were MVP in the Superbowl........

Nexgrl said...

Thank you Zed. I was contemplating the purchase of that CD. I now know better.

I worked at a company that didn't give MLK off and I did as you. I also took Malcolm X's B-day off and would piss them off each and every year for doing so, but I didn't care.

City gov should do better.

aquababie said...

we get mlk day off...in conjunction with robert e lee's birthday. that lady at the dmv was stuck on stupid. some folk don't know when to shut up.

thanks for the warning on mos def's cd. i had high hopes for it.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i didn't even know that mos def had a cd...i suppose that makes me out of the loop huh?

Knockout Zed said...

@Hassan
That cat burned hot piss onto a CD and sold it to people.

@Sixy
That's the worst purchase I've ever made in hip-hop. And I bought the Rappin' Is Fundamental CD back in the day.

@Robyn
I obviously cut it short, but he was breathing fire. He calmed down somewhat when he saw I was ok.

@Chele
LOL! That little muthafucka...

@OneFrom
I wish my answers were enough. If she was attractive I might've entertained her a little. But it wasn't worth it. "Gimme my gotdamn license plate!"

@Nexgrl
May 19th, mama! They never know why I'm not there, but I'm off regardless.

@Aqua
Good ol' Robert E. Lee. God bless the South and overt racism.

The CD is streaming for free on the Geffen website. If you wanna see if it's garbage for yourself, check it out. I'm telling you I didn't know it was coming out. I was at Target and I saw it. I considered myself lucky until the ride home. Then the ride to work the next day. Then the ride home again. Ugh!

@Miss Ahmad
Go to the Geffen website and listen to that hot garbage.

KZ

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i'm not in the mood for hot garbage no thank you...

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

I almost choked on my Ginger Ale when I read the comment about Mos...saying it ain't so!

Anonymous said...

-Tell Three to SHUT UP!
-Kids are so funny, you can't help but laugh sometimes
-Mos def has officially fallen off...that hurt to say out loud

Miz JJ said...

Gotta love little kids. They are telling the truth.

Did Mos pull the same stunt Common did with Electric Circus? Man was I pissed when I bought that CD.

Supa said...

Wha?? Mos Def's new stuff is booty? You lyin'...

Honest said...

Hey big guy that was funny.

Knockout Zed said...

@Miss Ahmad
At least you wouldn't have to pay for it like I did. Free hot garbage might be OK.

@Dyna
Yeah, Mos tried to slip some bullshit in. I no longer trust his work.

@Beauty
Three is Three. He's trying to make sure his boy ain't being played cheap. He's just doing what I would do to him.

Mos. *sigh*

@MizJJ
Yes, but Common didn't pull this shit TWICE, which is essentially what Mos did. This is the second time he's gotten us.

@Supa
Listen to the streams. They don't lie.

@Honest
I'm glad you're still among us. It's been awhile since you've posted. Get to it!

KZ

SynSational said...

CU@ Three....that's a lof of talking. LOL

We don't get MLK day off, yet we are supposed to be so 'diversified'...whatever man. My unit is small, so we have to keep our fingers crossed on days we want off that no one has asked already, and when I went to get that day off, this white lady already had it off. Once again, whatever man...

Anonymous said...

True Magic??!?! I had some coffee called Dark Magic from the new Keurig machine at work...kept me up for two days!

The home office of my new job is in Sweden, so the company is open on Monday. I will not be there, Im from America. Them cousins better take off and go skiing or something.

Yes Zeddie, you will have to get another blogger ID, so you can comment...dont worry, it was painless! Will, Organized and your other special friend are over there...

Anonymous said...

*snicker* Those were classic