Friday, February 02, 2007

Stinkbox

I had a fucked up meeting last night in which my proposal got defeated resoundingly. I was called everything in the book, I believe. I deserved it. I really did. I was trying to fuck up their lives. No bullshit. The meeting lasted until 10 pm.

Anyway, I had a 7:30 am meeting this morning with the City Manager and Mayor. Nice. After that bullshit meeting I had to meet with my boss. While we were meeting, something special happened.

Wispy walked in and told us that the new hire, Squintisha, is wearing too much perfume. Yesterday she came in to me on that same bullshit. I told her, per our scent policy, to ask her if she could tone down the perfume. If it persisted, I would get involved.

This silly bitch didn't say anything to her yesterday. Today she brought it up to Squintisha. Squintisha said, "I'm not wearing perfume, it's just my body wash. It's what I wash my ass with." WTF?

So now I gotta kick it to Squintisha, let her know how highly inappropriate her response was and reiterate the scent policy details. For the record, if you want a visual of how she looks, look no further:Pretty much identical, but a lot more of a hot mess.

So she comes in my office, struttin', smirkin', attitude on full blast.

"Squintisha, you are aware of our scent policy, correct?" "Yeah", she sighed. Her funky ass bodywash was wafting over to my side of the desk. It was quite horrible. "When you were informed that your personal hygiene products might be adversely affecting your co-worker, how did you respond?" She smirks, "I told her it's the bodywash I wash my ass with." "That's an inappropriate response, Squintisha. Highly inappropriate." First, she apologized to me for the response, noting Wispy isn't an angel in her own right. Then she went for the gusto.

"Shoot, I don't smell. She smell! She be wearin' the same funky clothes every other day. I wanna make a complaint against her. Her booty stank." Right then and there, at that moment, I knew that I wouldn't be able to end this week on a good note. These fuckin' people.

Stay Cool,
KZ

16 comments:

Gemini Girl aka GG said...

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, baby u need a vacay..come read how my week has gone maybe it'll give u a pick me up.

Anonymous said...

I'm real curious as to who is doing the hiring over there and where you brought on board to corral the ignorant africans?

her booty stank? Come on.

Knockout Zed said...

@Cali
I wish I was a fiction writer, I swear.

@Mz Tired
Why couldn't she have used the word "body"? Now, it's an inappropriate language in a work setting issue.

@GG
I need a vacay, some pussy and some vodka.

I think I'm only getting the vodka.

@Chele
This new hire is a 15 year employee that got transfered to us, through no desire of our own. I doubt that they brought me on to corral these ignorant Africans, because I'm doing a piss poor job of it.

That's a quote, "her booty stank". Ig-nor-ant.

KZ

Miz JJ said...

LMBAO. I can not imagine saying something like that to a supervisor. These people your work with have no broughtupsy.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i think you missed out on an opportunity to offer to bathe her...

you might wanna consider that an option!

onefromphilly said...

Why is "It's what I wash my ass with" an inappropriate answer,
if that's what she does wash her as with????????

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

well...*does* her booty stank?

Knockout Zed said...

@Miz JJ
It's a fucked up mentality she's brought with her to my shop, for real. Her parents, who also work for the city, are good cool, people. She's just crass.

@Miss Ahmad
I'm not bathing her with YO' dick!

@OneFrom
Her use of profanity is in violation of a long standing city policy against that sort of fucking language in the gotdamn workplace.

@Rev. Ace
Sadly, I think she's right!

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

LMAO!!!Dayum bodywash is generally light she must be lacing her shyt with something else.

Ya'll got way to many policiesup in that piece!

Have a good weekend man!

Anonymous said...

Pahhaa! 'Her booty stinks." That shit is High-larius! And these are grown people.....

Angel said...

what the hell kinda bodywash she got that "wafts" so strongly??? yep. i knew she was gonna say that wispy's ass was stinkin' too!

Anonymous said...

No she didn't say "Her booty stank" at work. I wish we could have seen the look on your face. HILARIOUS.

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a nightmare. Too bad you cant encourage the new girl to file a scent complaint against Wispy. Sorry things are going so badly over there. Hopefully you can get out of there soon ((full frontal cyber hug)).



...GO BEARS!!!!

(scuse me, wrong post)

Anonymous said...

Some days I envy you, however this is not one if them. Fifteen years and she's still employed, somebody is really dropping the ball here.

*note to self* Always resist the urge to say "her booty stank" out loud to any coworkers.

Honest said...

LMAO! I haven't heard anyone use the line "her booty stank" in a while.

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

15 yrs on the payroll, and "her booty stank" is the most tactful way she could put it? smh

I wanna believe that Wispy's working her nerves to the point that she just lost it, but you DID say she's crass. That doesn't happen overnight. That's probably why she got transferred in the first place.

I work with Marines who've been in for years. They can be right as rain, but phuck it all up with their approach.