Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Mind Games

Anybody that knows me knows that I hate almost everything. There is very little that brings actual joy to my life. It makes for a pretty miserable existence, but it's all I have.

I wanna try self-delusion. I want to immerse myself in it, to BE deluded. I'm not just saying this shit, I mean it.

I abhor small talk. Yet everytime I walk into the restroom, or a conference room, or just down the hall, I'm inundated with mundane, uninteresting conversation. If I could adapt my mind to want it, covet it, and absorb small talk, I'd be happier.

Then again, like everything else that I love, it would probably elude me if I really wanted it. If I craved small talk, I'd never get it. It would another one of those things (like more money, blowjobs, a career I like, etc.) that I just can't seem to get. But that could be a strategy, too.

If I actually desired getting hit on by trailer park chicks, being underpaid and overqualified, being asked overfamiliar favors by people I barely know, being told too much information by strangers and taking horses to water and trying to make them drink (a.k.a. supervising staff), then I could avoid them altogether. They'd pass me the fuck by.

It would be one huge mind game with the universe.

Be Easy,
KZ

8 comments:

1969 said...

Somehoe I understood this and dare I say...it was genius.

Blah Blah Blah said...

I think I have actually mastered this. How? I am not quite sure.

Then again, maybe not. Just remembered being on the train last night.. and this grown ass woman was poppin' her gum. every few *pop* minutes she *pop* her gum and then *pop* go back to chewing it like she *pop* was a cow chewing cud *pop*

I realize that is minor compared to not getting head...or a career you like...but in my mind...it's all the same damn thing. Could grown folks please stop popping their gum!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

maybe and i do mean just maybe if you didn't hate it so much you wouldn't get so much of it...

kinda like me and really short men who only want me for my really tall genes.

or me and liberal white folks who only want me to prove that they actually know a REAL live black person.

Less hate and more concentration on getting head...jedi mind trick or whatever!

onefromphilly said...

Confuscius said:
Happiness does not consist of having what you want, but in wanting what you have.

Knockout Zed said...

@Sixy
Finally! Someone gets it. Thanks, Sixy.

@BBB
If poppin' her gum brings her joy, why squelch it? The train ride is relatively short, when compared with the average life span.

@AJ
Concentrating on head ain't a bad idea. I'll think about it. LOL

@OneFrom
It's generally the same thing Buddha said. Desire causes unhappiness. Stop wanting shit, you'll feel better.

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

Actually if you think about it... the life span of an actual ride from Shea stadium to Grand Central...it's actually a huge chunck of my personal time that should be used for reflection on important shit like D.Wright's earlier home run or one of my old stories about Ricky Henderson when he played for the A's and use to drive around east Oakland pimpin' and profilin'...
Meanwhile...this bitch is chomping her jaws on some gum that's probably stale and showing her lack of class and upbringing while disturbing me!
*whew!*
I just felt like fucking ranting on her ass I.HATE.GUM.POPPING!
no need for reply*

Knockout Zed said...

@BBB
Whatchu know about baseball?

Or better yet, football.

Go Lions!

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

YOU know I love the Mets... always an Oakland fan, whether A's or RAIDERS... but right now I am stuck on blue and orange.
HELLO! The A's in the 80's were the shit... Ricky Henderson, Mark Macguire, Dave Henderson, Canseco....man that team under Larussa was the she-ite!

Today is T-Bubbles birthday!