Thursday, October 04, 2007

Ad.ho M.ukha Svanasa.na

About 4 weeks ago, I started this yoga class. Now I know what you're thinking, so fuck you. I took the class because I'd started this intense workout regimen and I wanted to not be sore after every workout. It was an opportunity to learn how to properly stretch and to meditate properly.

Anyway, I was apprehensive enough about it, knowing I'd be the only Black dude in the class and likely in Satan's Anus the only Black person. I was right. One thing I can tell you though: white women with small waists and big sista-like asses are drawn to yoga. At least in my beginner level class that seems to be the case.

A few of my associates know I'm going to this class, Bloopty being one of them. She says to me yesterday before class, "Do they make you do downward facing dog? It'd be funny to see your big ass doing downward facing dog." I told her they hadn't as of yet. Maybe they didn't cover it in beginning yoga. Boy was I wrong.

On the white board at the beginning of class, the yogi wrote "A.dho M.ukha S.vanasana", sat down in a comfortable, cross-legged seat, and proceeded to explain the meaning of each word. When she was done, I hung my head. Downward-facing dog position. Curse you, Bloopty!

How something that looks so simple, can end up so painful is beyond me. My pelvis aches, my lower abs hurt, and my wrists are sore. And it's undignified looking. Shit! Still I soldier on until I no longer feel like a painscicle.

Peace,
KZ

6 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

How tall are you....about 6 feet and gigantic inches?

Ass up...back arched...ummm, this position sounds mighty familiar to me...I think I may have...ummm...ah never mind, I've never even been in a yoga class...

LMBBAO...or rather...your big black ass...heeheehee

Curse me? But why my friend...scratch that... my associate?!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i heart you for taking yoga that's all i can say.

did you know that if/when you can place your hands flat on the floor in front of you, kinda like touching your toes, you have the flexibility of a 25 yr old.

i miss yoga. these days i only do it in the steam room at the spa. something about the heat makes me wanna streatch.

Knockout Zed said...

@BBB
Yeah, I'm sure you've done the downward facing poodle, my associate.

@AJ
Hehehe. Nasty!

KZ

ChezNiki said...

Downward facing dog is supposed to be good for digestion, too. Not very dignified looking, but apparently very healthy.

Look at you! Getting all healthy and stuff so you can look good in your tux at your wedding... and go tantric on the honeymoon
:-P

aquababie said...

i love that you're doing yoga :) email me if you need some online yoga advice. since i've been doing yoga for 9 years and teaching 5, black folk are rare. when i go to a workshop, i've one of 3, maybe 4. i've taught maybe 5-6 black folk myself.

downward facing dog is one of my favorites. it's a kick-butt posture and a fabulous stretch. when you start more intense classes it's the resting pose...and you're always glad when it comes. let me stop talking yoga...i could ramble on forever :)

1969 said...

Props for taking yoga Zed. It will definitely help you with making sure you are getting proper stretches in.

The hardest thing ever is Bikram yoga where you do yoga in a heated room. I took one of those classes once and thought I was going to pass the hell out.

As for you doing the Downward facing dog? Hmm.....it's too early for me to come up with a witty statement. The visual is enough :)