Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Uncle Phil, et al.

Yo, I got a pet peeve. Yes, yet another one. People really need to shut the fuck up when they don't have anything constructive to say.

Case in point, people are constantly telling me I look like somebody else. The shit is never flattering. Not even a little. Any African with a fat or round face is my fuckin' twin to hear other people tell it. Ic.e Cub.e, Antho.ny An.derson, Mr. T, Bar.ry Wh.ite, Ha.mmond, and Muham.mad are the short list. Do I look like any of these cats? No, and if I did, I wouldn't wanna be reminded of it.

Now ever since I've kinda been on the "fuck it" tip by not dyeing my beard, the other comparison comes through.

"You know who you look like? Uncle Phil from the Fresh Prince!"

Oh joy! That's the look I've been going for.

That's your wish. African, I'll be your Uncle Phil. And when you ain't lookin', I'll be Uncle Fillin'-up-your-woman's-guts-with-cock-sauce.

OK, I'm not that cat right now, but you get the point. No cat has ever had to do more with less than I have. Gigantic headed, fat faced bookworm without flashy shit, and I still do OK. More than OK.

I was out eating with my boys and this lady rushed over to me and said "Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Fre.d Ham.mond?" And I said "Yes, ma'am they have. And not once have I been flattered by it." She looked at me all crestfallen and shit, but at least I didn't tell her she looked like LaW.anda, which she did.

All I'm saying is, I see people that look like famous people all the time. I just wouldn't rush up and tell 'em that shit. You never know how they'll take it, ESPECIALLY if you don't know 'em. That shit to me is just nuts.

Be Prudent,


Blah Blah Blah said...

I have been told a billion and one times I look like Vanessa Williams...
First off...I'm not grey eyed (nor do I have herpes muthafucka)...
..but if I was getting paid like any of them...well I'll look like anyone you want...with the right amount of motivation...ya feel me.

I actually think you look like this guy named Keith I know ( he isn't famous but your a dead ringer!)...but sorry, I know you do't want to hear that is what it is. Embrace your look-a-like-ness...

Knockout Zed said...

You look just like the herpes-less Vanessa Williams.

You're funny.

1969 said...

LaWanda Page? "WATCH IT fish eyed fool"

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i don't look like anyone..humm i wonder if i'm missing out on something!

Angel said...

"And when you ain't lookin', I'll be Uncle Fillin'-up-your-woman's-guts-with-cock-sauce."

always so vivid with the if you HAD to choose who you looked like the most though, who would that be?

Knockout Zed said...

The kids only know about that from TV Land. You'll confuse 'em.

It's not fun when someone says "You know why you look like?" and you have to wait to be insulted.

Easy...the one person I do look like, my father.


Little Brown Girl said...

At least none of those people you named are unattractive. And if Uncle Phil wasn't errrrrr uhhhh well you know..nevermind.

I think it depends on who the person is. I am told I look like Rihanna (minus the eyes) first I'd be irritated but then I realized she's kinda cute so it wasn't that bad being likened to her...only that broad looks like me cause I am older LOL!! Being compared to uhhhh say Olive Oil would not be a good look for the person making the comparison, but tell me I look like someone pretty and it's all good. LOL!!

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

I wish I DID look like someone famous....instead of a dead ringer for some random chick who stole something from the jewelry dept at K-Mart Sunday. Alls I wanted was a can of smell-good for my truck.

ChezNiki said...

My middle sister left Boston a year ago and people from all over New England mistake me for her. They gush over my (her) dance shows and rave about my (her) self esteem workshops and wonder when I (she)cut my (her) dreds and joined the choir, LOL.

Funny thing is, Ive been gone from NYC for almost ten years and my baby sister is mistaken for me!

Sometimes I wish I did look like a celebrity. Then maybe people could tell me and my sisters apart!

ChezNiki said... used to dye your beard? Interesting.