Thursday, November 02, 2006

Killin' Me

On the phone

Three: What you been writin' lately?
KZ: Fuck you mean? You don't read 'em?
3: Fuck you! I'm busy.
KZ: OK. (silence)
3: For real, what you been writin' about?
KZ: I thought you might be too busy to hear about it.
3: What kinda bitch *African* is you? Stop bein' so damn sensitive.
KZ: If you read the fuckin' blog, you'd see I'm in a bad place right now.
3: Well, you got your health. What the fuck else you want?
KZ: Ehh.
3: I got an idea for a new blog.
KZ: I don't need your ideas.
3: I'm tellin' you, you'd have a buncha muthafuckas commentin'. You'd own that bitch.
KZ: What's the idea?
3: You and a few of them blog *Africans* need to get together and have a shared blog called "These Bitches Kill Me".
KZ: "These Bitches Kill Me"? What the fuck would we be writing about?
3: The various muthafuckin' ways in which, umm, various bitches and the like, umm, you know, effectively be killin' y'all *Africans*, and so on and so forth.
KZ: Hunh?
3: You know with the shit they do. "Three get my nails done", "Zed come over my mama's house with me". You know, that shit.
KZ: I already got a blog like that. I call it "Babee Munkees and Clams". Ever heard of it?
3: Well, this way it wouldn't just be you! Everybody got different ways they get got. Y'all need to compile that shit into one giant finger, the finger of blame, pointin' at hoes. "Does this shit sound familiar?"
KZ: I'll think about it.
3: You better do this shit before somebody else take it.
KZ: You think there's an audience for that?
3: There's an audience for that bullshit you be writin'.
KZ: Duly noted.

Peace,
KZ

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is 3 one of the flakes that you were referring to? Just curious.

onefromphilly said...

Hunh???
Maybe I'm a litte slow this morning but..... hunh?

Little Brown Girl said...

Can we call three zero instead? Cause that was a wack azz idea!!!

Knockout Zed said...

@Chele
Incidentally, he's one of the few friends that is always there. Unless a woman is involved. Then he's a flake.

@OneFrom
It's a conversation with a bitter man. Read it again.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@RD
He's pissed at women. He's trying to use me as a vessel of anger and venom.

KZ

1969 said...

What did women do? Why is it always us? Men are high maintenance as hell.

If every woman a man meets seems to have an issue then maybe....it's not really her, maybe it's the man?

There are two sides to every relationship.

And yes, some b*tches are crazy :)

Knockout Zed said...

@Sixy
Men: Food, drink, sex, sleep, silence
Women: Everything and then some
I don't know about the high maintenance part on both ends...

I don't have women problems outside of actually meeting one.

Yeah, Three's got issues. I got issues, more issues that he's got. They just aren't the same issues.

KZ

Ming Houser, Realtor said...

Let's entertain the idea for a moment...

Who would this blog consist of?

Hypothetically speaking...

Knockout Zed said...

@Dyna
That's easy: Rob Mack, T Cas, Organized Noise, and me.

Slish is my brotha, but he's wearing love goggles. And I don't think Hassan would gripe like the rest of us. So that's would be the group. I thought about this yesterday when the subject was broached.

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

I'm tired of women getting a bad wrap. Zero...I mean three is taking his frustrations out on women when he probably has never once looked at what he might be doing to add to his problems. Eff that...I ain't being the punching bag no more. You men got serious problems...problems that have nathan to do with us.

I'm with Sixty...it can't always be US!!!

As for the blog idea....HATED IT!

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i'm with roycee and 1969 i think it's too easy for men to point the collective finger of blame instead of getting the therapy they need...

sounds like that's yet another vessel of divide cuz only broken broads will still think you're sexy after participating in that shit!

onefromphilly said...

LOL @ Royce D calling Three - ZERO hahahaha

onefromphilly said...

And Yeah, I'm cosigning with my sista's on this topic. Women CANNOT be the problem all of the time!!!!! Men SUCK and sometimes not in a good way!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1969 said...

Men: Food, drink, sex, sleep, silence

Hmm...lets see...You want food but WE have to cook it and if it isn't to your liking, your non-cooking behinds have the nerve to judge our efforts and complain.

Drink...that preferrably WE serve you as you are lounging around watching a game hogging the remote, flipping channels.

Sex when YOU want it no matter how tired we are after working, cleaning , etc. We always have to act enthused so we don't hurt those fragile male egos.

Sleep when you want to. No matter if we have to clean up, cook and maintain every other facet of your lives while you get to just chill.

And you want us to be silent while we do all of this.....

YUP. High Maintenance goes both ways.

The Very Reverend Ace Clemmons, Jr. said...

1969: "Men: Food, drink, sex, sleep, silence"

yea, but not in that order.

Blah Blah Blah said...

Three sounds like a gem. He sounds sexy than a muthafucka! ::YAWN::

TCas isn't as spiteful...if he is...he don't write about it. RMack is too young, he's not as jaded, so he can't participate. ON...well, how old is RMack and ON? Slish would actually be good in this...but that would require him to tak shit...and right now he's talking that "other" shit ...so that leaves Zednanreh to be the fearless leader in this quest to put his thumb on the female population and squish us out...oh unless of course Three has started blogging...
(he sounds like his problems are the pink elephant in the room)

Don't get caught up in bullshit Zed. The majority of your audience if of the female persuasion...don't isolate yourself in the blogworld...

Then again...who da fuck are we to you anyway...just some faceless broads with shit to do at work but read your bullshit anyway. That's all any of is are...you to me and me to you...right?
So write whatever you want yo!!

Blah Blah Blah said...

...eh, Zed...dude...sorry about all that jibber-fucking-jabber at the end....I'm on some other shit right now...
You know how it is...woke up with the wrong muthafucka in my bed this morning!

B~E~Z

1969 said...

Zed knows we love him and his writing. A healthy man vs woman debate never killed anybody....except maybe Nicole Brown Simpson, Bonnie Blake, Sunny Von Bulow....okay, never mind.

Anonymous said...

There is hella blog space out there. If he's that disgruntled, he sounds like he needs his own personal space to let it off. Somebody'll read it.

Anonymous said...

There's hella blog space out there. If he's as disgruntled as it sounds, he needs his own personal space to let it off. Somebody'll read it.

sj-the-infamous said...

*giggles*

aquababie said...

black women are the mules of the world...

we have to carry too much shit on our back like packs. it's so easy to place the blame on us. we jsut sart accepting shit. that's why i ain't with the dude i was seeing any longer. i got tired of being his pack mule! i ain't gonna bitch on your blog.

thank you zora...

Knockout Zed said...

OK, I'm back. I've been at a damn meeting all day and I have another one in an hour or so. I'll get to the relevant stuff:

1) I don't agree with Three or the blog idea. I think I've said I don't have any women problems. None. Not a one. Outside of actually meeting one. I don't blame y'all for shit except selective memory and an unhealthy dependence on the romantic. Romantic - etymology: latin, root word: Roman, being of Roman or Italian descent. In other words, not my African ass.

2)Three would never blog. At least not have a blog with comments. You see, he HATES y'all. It the reason he doesn't read my shit. He thinks y'all are haters. "They talk shit about what you do because they don't really know you. Fuck 'em."

3)Rob Mack has a point about the ladies and that "Get Out Of My Bed" joint. I can't imagine how poorly a male version of that shit would be received. I'm all girthy and lenghty and skilled and shit. Where's my props? Where are my blog kudos?

KZ

ChezNiki said...

They got a blog like that in Boston called the "BrothersManLaw." (I would link it, but I dont know how) We all have issues with the opposite sex. I just dont think that sort of thing should be done in a group...of all men.

Yeah, and Three shouldnt have a blog...PERIOD.

Side Bar: Did you cut your hair yet...I just wanna know when to give the memorial service...
:-(

The Brown Blogger said...

I'm a former rapper turned poet by way of getting shitted on by corporate America with a book deal on the table. Just send me back to cubicle hell broke with that idea will ya?

KZ, you are absolutely right when you say I wouldn't touch that project with my enemy's hands. It's bad enough my sisters are chickenheads, bitches, hoes and video props in my industry and we allow that and look the other way, getting paid off of it. What kind of spiked Kool Aid/Cisco combo is your boy drinking to even suggest some ish like that? I mean, I've had my share of hardship with a sister or five in my day but not enough to put em on permanent blast (remember text-evidence from yesterday?) in cyberspace. That's the ultimate form of self-disrespect, non support and hatred for the ones that made and raised our stank asses!

he ain't thinking straight. Some woman done touched his ass and it bent him the other way. Shame.

The next time you see that cat, smack that fool in the back of the head for even sugessting that ish.

Angry fucker.

"I got nothing against no Viet Cong. No Vietnamese ever called me 'nigger'"
- Muhammad Ali

Anonymous said...

girthy, lengthy and skilled

hehehe

Knockout Zed said...

@Chezniki
My issues with the opposite sex are limited to a single one: the lack of access to them. That's it. My problem is I'm woman-dependent. I needz a chick! And I'm a dude that's been shitted on for being TOO nice.

I'm waiting for my new clippers in the mail.

@Hassan
He's stuck on these chicks seeing the "error of their ways". I say living well is the best revenge. I'm trying to live good as a muthafucka.

Three luvs "gutta" chicks. He won't fuck with an aspirational woman, so he's blaming them. That's it in a nutshell.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Chele
You're the only one, sweetie.

KZ

Little Brown Girl said...

LMAO @ Zero hating us...that's some funny shyt. And he's supposed to be your homie but got 10 million excuses why he doesn't read your shyt. Interesting...tell him I said "Dah Fuk Outta here wit dat shyt!"

Zeddie, please don't cut your hair...someone please talk some sense into him...he needs an intervention CLEARLY!

Oh and Hassan...you betta PREACH!!!

onefromphilly said...

Zed, don't cut your locs yet. Consult a professional loctician about joining them if you feel they are too thin. I told you, it can be done, my loctician has done it!

BZ said...

Brother's Man Law It already exists - well, at least by a few cats up here in the Bean (two of whom I actually know, personally). Some of it's pretty good.

Blah Blah Blah said...

As I said... Three = YAWN...

I caught it too but I wasn't gonna say shit about it...you know I be scared and shit!

...but about that one thing you and I discussed...ummm, why we on this shit right here?

*no need for reply...'cause you slow on the uptake...LOL...Holla (that's another one I hate)

Knockout Zed said...

@RD
Ya boy Zero is lazy. That's not a knock, I'm lazy too. But he's a special kind of lazy, that's why he's not reading. He's a double edged sword too. He's my closest friend and my second harshest critic (behind myself).

That being said, I'll consult with a few people on what's next hair wise. And Three has been my barber since '90.

@OneFrom
I waiver back and forth on whether or not it's worth it so save 'em. Today I'm leaning towards cutting them. Yesterday, I was keeping them.

@BZ
I already got three blogs, I don't want another one anyway. Three is trippin'.

@Blah Blah Blah
Three likes your voice.

You ain't gotta be scared. He likes to be pampered.

Aiight! Holla!

KZ

Angel said...

hahahahahahahah!

only if we females can compile our own (and of course use yall's blog as a reference)! ;-P

Rashan Jamal said...

I'm down for some misogyny!!! These b*tches kill me. How many these *africans* can't fuck blogs are there? Let's do it!

Rashan Jamal said...

damn, I just read the comments, and Bloopty said I wasn't spiteful... that may be true, but I got stories too. You know I got a split personality.

Mr.Slish said...

I LIKE IT!!! I say we do it..For Educational purposes!!!! Lets put it together...No one has to know who's writing the posts...LETS DO IT!!!!!

Knockout Zed said...

@FA
I ain't touchin' that subject matter with a ten foot pole.

@T Cas
Who doesn't have stories about how women "did them wrong"? The so called livest, coolest, pretty boy, superthug muthafuckas be tellin' those stories. We all got 'em, I just don't know if I'd be willing to devote too much time to them.

@Slish
You know good and gotdamn well you betta not be participating in anything remotely like a "fuck dem hoes" blog. Man, I shudder at the thought!

KZ

Miz JJ said...

As a contributor to 'Get Out of my Bed' that blog isn't about how men ain't shit. It's about bad sex. We don't men for all the problems in our lives.

Knockout Zed said...

@MizJJ
I want to write a bad sex blog, too. It'll be called "Out of Jergens".

KZ

Hyps said...

I'm in love - can I get three's number?

What does that say about me? don't answer lol.