It leads to me creating my own fun. Like collecting bullshit events that have happened in the past few weeks and making a "Shepherd's Pie" like post. This is the scrapple and bullshit of my life in the last couple of weeks, condensed in a single place for your consumption. Enjoy!
You ever notice how you get the most attention from the people you want it from the least? That, my dear bloggers, is the story of my life.
Email from Charlize Theron:
We haven't been able to hook up in months. Either you're too busy or I'm too busy. In any case, I believe that our inability to connect speaks to a greater meaning. I think it's time we stopped "messing around" and took our relationship to the next level.
Ummm...*delete*
Voicemail from Carmel:
If you're here for Thanksgiving, I'd really like to see you. You need to stop being so mean and keep in touch in with me. My girl Punkin had a sex toy party at my house a few days ago and I wanna try some stuff out.
Ummm....*save*
Discussion with Batshit:
Bats: I know you'd be the perfect donor. I'd have you sign a contract relieving you of all your fatherly duties. I'm serious. I'm ready to have a baby, with or without a husband.
KZ: Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?
Bats: I'm serious.
KZ: I'm not the man for that job. You need to pick one of those other cats. That'll never be me, man.
Bats: You know you want a baby.
KZ: I want a sane baby.
Text message from Ivana:
You'z a buster! Why you running from the pussy?
Ummm...forward to Three with LOL addendum.
Email from FIFA Booty:
Hello Mr. Zednanreh, I was hoping we'd be able to see one another again before the year ends. Sincerely, FIFA Booty.
Squo? Ummm....*delete*
Voicemail from Flakette, a one date chick:
I can't believe it's been over a month since we went out. You were on my mind and I was wondering if you were busy this weekend. Give me a call when you get a chance.
Bitch, was I on your mind when you flaked out on the second date we made? Ummm...*ghettoredhotdelete*
Wanna trade? Anybody?
KZ
21 comments:
I like Shepherd's Pie.
I hate when people don't post....it's a blog muthaeffa...so get to blogging. *whew, had a moment*
Stick with Carmel....I truely believe there is another story to be squeezed outta that one! Make it happen Hammer...
Here's my witty answers:
Charlize: The number you have reached is not in service, please check the directory and don't try again!
Carmel: Like Blah said...there maybe another good story here so uhh tell her to pencil you in for next week but keep the eraser handy! HA!
Batshit: I'm still sore from my vasectomy!
FIFA booty: I like flat ass girls.
Flakette: I'm sorry, what's your name again?
Ummm... Nah.
my short answer...RUN! all those heifers are crazy. i think you need to put a disclaimer on your ass.
This was funny! I'm so stealing the format.
To Charlize: Our inability to get together means that we don't need to be trying to get together. How's that for deep?
To Caramel: Word?
You handled Batsh*t well.
You gotta do these more often...LOL Nice to see Carmel is still throwing it at you and Batshit is well...still Batshit LMAO
Why in the world would you want to trade in such amusing moments like these? :)
LMAO @ Ghettoredhotdelete! I'm using it...
And hellyeah I'd trade...your getting way more positive action then me at the moment. Well I'd trade if some of those were men, who were attractive and at least halfway sane...on second thought...nevermind NO TRADE!!! LOL!!
Keep that head up man...
...not no parkay, not no margarine,strictly butta..strictly butta baby
Lately, my life hasn't been much better.
It must be me. I have never in my life been as forward as these heffas. I have never offered up the goodies like that and if it's been a month since a guy called me I sure wasn't about to call him.
And what do you mean when y'll don't write??? I've been writing everyday for yo ass for the past month!!
@BBB
You mustanodda checked my M.O.
@OneFrom
I think I need you as a ghostwriter.
@Hassan
You sure?
@Aqua
I can't help it. I got what psychologists call "animal magnetism".
@BZ
That Charlize shit came out of the blue. She'd never came on me like that.
@Mack
The End of Head is very popular. Unfortunately, nothing like that has happened to me since.
Real frat biz has fucked up my social life. I'm not jinxin' myself again.
@Beauty
People like hearing this crazy shit, but it kinda depresses me to write it.
@RD
You know my angst. None of this is positive action. It sux!
@L and TV
@Dyna
At least you're in a major city and you are fuckin' SMOKING HOT! *sorryichanneledawhitedude*
@Chele
Yeah, you wrote everyday for 30 days, but I write about 24 days out of 30, so I'm pretty close. And you're the only one! People be taking time out for their lives and shit. Fuck that! Entertain me!
KZ
Maaaan..You don't want my life right now...lol
a friend in grad school turned me on to shepherd's pie! she made hers with lots of meat and the potatoes were always so buttery...but i digress.
zeddy-kins, uh, you have lots of messages for a man who proclaims to be in a "funk" and who is soooooo ready to leave from his location...? i mean, i'm just saying. no, all action isn't good action, but some action is indeed SOME action... :-/
i got nothing, and i ain't writing nothing either!!
you got something alright! you have what my folk call "the scent".
"KZ: I want a sane baby."
No way you can end the dialogue right there. Did she shut the hell up after that classic or what?
I try to stay updated, but my life is boring compared to yours. You got a lot woman running through your life. I know, I know quality not quantity.
@Slish
Yours has got to be better than mine, just on general principle. Have you had sex in the last 4 months? Do you live in NY? It's better!
@BTT
Maybe I maligned Shepherd's Pie a little. I just wanted you to envision a hodge podge.
One message was from Detroit. Three from here and the other was from Montgomery, AL. I'm still picky. I'm still in a funk.
@Miss Ahmad
I'm waiting...
@Aqua
I think it's the aura of aloofness. Still waters and shit like that.
@SoWise
She hit me. On the arm. Hard.
KZ
@MizJJ
In my opinion, others people's boring shit is much more interesting than one's own stuff. I could read about you sitting around scratchin' your ass. But I'd rather have pictures. LOL
KZ
WEll u can check me out cuz i did that IPOD shuffle thingy.......
Oh, when you said, "Wanna Trade?" I thought you meant you wanted folk to comment back with their own failed-booty-call text messages...
...now that would be a post, right there! LOL
You just be careful and stay out of that snowstorm...and stay out of the carmel, too!
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