Tuesday, November 28, 2006

One Half Ape...And The Other Half Munkee

Verbin'
I talked to my boys this weekend, but I didn't head to the D. I was afraid of all the "Dupreeing" that would be offered, you know couches to crash on. I wasn't trying to Dupree, just hang out a little, so I declined and stayed put.

I Loc Nessed instead. Laid low and attempted to be introspective. Negatory. I didn't read a lot. I watched TV. I went to the movies and saw Ca.sin.o Ro.yal.e. I loved that shit, this new Bond shit. Extra grimy like a laundromat on the Eastside. I even fucked around and ended up watching shit I never wanted to see in my life. I mean, this one cat Heathed this other muthafucka all up in his Gyllenhaal!

I was ready to Yeti, but the snow never came. It was in the 60's all weekend. So I Sasquatched and watched my hair and feet grow under sandpapery, low thread count sheets as I laid on my back trying to make out the images on my dusty ass TV.

The best laid plans of mice and men...
I was supposed to spend all this extra time cleaning up and shit. I didn't wash clothes, scrub, scour, mop, vacuum, or otherwise improve my home. My house is likely worse for the shit I messed up by being home an extra couple of days. I got shoes to shine and suits to steam.

Part Gorilla
I'm feeling this extra aggressive thing whenever I get ready to go to work these days. This real "punch a muthafucka in the face" sorta thing. What is that? Life?

Delusional defined
LoLo: You comin' to my birthday party?
KZ: Naw. Imma, uhh, be visitin' my parents. Imma be in Florida.
LoLo: I bet your parents would love me. You should give me your mother's number. She'd love talking to me and she'd probably invite me down for Christmas.

KZ

22 comments:

The Stiltwalker said...

Low thread count sheets? You slippin homie.

Anonymous said...

You are possibly the only man I know that has admitted to watching Heath and 'em without being forced by his woman. LoLo really has a high opinion of herself, huh? Too bad she's really just comic relief on your blog.

Knockout Zed said...

@Stilts
I'm cheap, plus I only sleep in the bed.

@Chele
That speaks volumes to my boredom. I watched that shit and actually felt sorry for them cats. I felt sorry for their wives, their kids. It was all fucked up.

LoLo truly believes she's my next chick. Every conversation starts very serious-minded and ends with her trying to put her clit in my mouth.

KZ

Blah Blah Blah said...

LoLo need to slow the fuck down. You mustanodda told her I was going to FLA for Christmas! Learn her something!

...liked that play on the names... Heathed this other muthafucka...
Niiiice.

Other than that...
Interesting!

Miz JJ said...

Every weekend I say I am going to clean and I never do. I need to run out of drawers (and I have been known to go out and buy more) before I will do some laundry.

Lol @ Lolo. Where do you meet these women?

Knockout Zed said...

@Blah
Why she tryin' to meet my mother? That's some out of bounds shit.

Interesting, indeed.

@MizJJ
They know my ass at Target. I'm buying new underwear weekly just to keep from washing. It's horrible.

Y'all act like I'm trying to find the craziest women I can. It's not like that at all. We used to work together, that's how I know her.

KZ

Sangindiva said...

LoLo is KILLIN' ME!!!

I can't BELIEVE she said give me her number!!! hahahaha!

Little Brown Girl said...

You should give her the number...Momma's are always real good at settin skanks straight!

Disco said...

HA! I saw that shit for the first time this past weekend too! Too "seed of the earth/coyboy-ish" for me..... didn't mind the gay thing.... but that outdoorsey/western feel bothered the SHIT outta me!

And yeah....ole girl is MIGHTY delusional! JESUS!

The Brown Blogger said...

At least you actually did something this weekend.

I'm still checking my pulse

Mr.Slish said...

OOOOOh I get the feeling everyday while i'm work...

Give Lolo my number I'll make believe I'm your mama " You know my zeddy likes the pussy clean shaven"

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

i'm totally stealing LoLo's line...I think it's kinda awesome!!

aquababie said...

lol @ mr slish! lolo is on something else. do you put out radar for the crazy ones?? i did something this weekend. i completed wasted my time trying to make some extra money. these folk rather go to the mall though. and i did clean on sunday.

Knockout Zed said...

@SanginDiva
She was true blue about that shit. "I'mma make yo' mama luv me."

@RD
My mother will really hurt her feelings. That would be some cruel shit.

@Robyn
My experience was just the opposite. The western shit I didn't mind. The other shit was tough.

LoLo gets off the phone mad at me everytime. You'd think she's cut it out.

@Hassan
I tried to take your advice and just get away from shit mentally. It worked to a point.

@Slish
That's what I'm talkin' about! Teamwork!

@Miss Ahmad
There's no way you'd use that line. I don't believe that for a minute.

@Aqua
The crazy ones luv me and the sane ones become crazy as soon as I enter with "the dragon".

KZ

Anonymous said...

I was up in the theater watching "Cowboy Up"

I guess the curiousity got to me. Thankfully they kept the sex scenes down to a minimum.

There is a lot to be said for Sloth.

I highly recommend spending weekends doing as little as possible.

As for LoLo...all I can do is shake my head and chuckle...I hope she has a hobby.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

but for real i think your mom would love me:-)

Nika Laqui said...

If you don't wanna meet up with her what makes her think yo mama would want her to come down for x mas?

Knockout Zed said...

@DP
That shit was just fuckin' heartbreaking for everybody involved. Sad shit.

LoLo's hobby is calling me with stinky fingers.

@Miss Ahmad
There's only one way to find out.

@Nika Boo
See what I'm sayin'? That makes logical sense to anybody else. I say "I don't want the pussy" and what does she do? Keeps trying, that's what. I can't speak any plainer.

KZ

i like liquor and tv said...

Lolo? I think you spelled her name wrong..should be Loco.

Angel said...

"I'm feeling this extra aggressive thing whenever I get ready to go to work these days. This real "punch a muthafucka in the face" sorta thing. What is that? Life?"

actually...it is called aggression. and you really should talk to someone about that before your ass get a lawsuit!

Knockout Zed said...

@L and TV
Whenever someone says that, this is what I'm thinking:
"Hey Ese, don't you know I'm loco?"

@BTT
Damn college women! All that book learnin' and whatnot.

KZ

Sheletha said...

so did you ever dust off the tv???