Friday, September 02, 2005


Hey good people, what's poppin'? It is 5:14 am right now and I'm blogging. Why would I be doing such a thing at such an ungodly hour? You know it's gotta be good, right?

Well, I just got kicked out of "Batshit's" house. Just like that. "I need some time alone." I know what you're thinking, "Zed, what the fuck did you do to warrant such a response?" The short answer is I fucked the shit out of her and she was feeling guilty about giving up the ass, but let me flesh it out a bit.

I guess you've all read the previous post about how she gave me the ol' 68. I was pissed but I kind of just put it behind me. I live so far off in the boondocks that it was going to take me at least a few months to find another single black female to even be cool with. She called me yesterday and asked if she could come to my office to see me. I was pretty bored having just left a series of meetings, so I told her it was cool.

"Batshit" came in looking good, all made up with a pretty dress on. She closed my office door behind her and came to sit on my lap. This was a first. She began to kiss me all over my face. Another first. She started talking dirty to me, "My pussy is sooo wet". Yet another first. In fact, so many firsts, it was beginning to look like an Ebony/Jet Black History textbook. She stood in front of me and lifted her dress to reveal she wasn't wearing panties. Then she came back closer to me to rub my dick. It was a tremendous display of freakiness for a woman who just a couple of days prior I couldn't even tell found me sexually attractive. When she finally left my office I was determined I would fuck the next time I saw her.

I had to preside over an advisory board meeting in the evening, so I talked to her late, around 10:00 pm. "Batshit" invited me over. I brought condoms.

I came in and almost immediately had a face full of pussy. Again. I am kind of partial to eating pussy, so it's hard for me to say "Fuck that, I'm not eating her pussy". It just sort of happens organically. So I'm sucking the clit, right? "Batshit" says "Did you bring condoms?" I nod. I don't talk with my mouth full. She smiles, "Come get some then." I rise and fly over to my discarded pants, fish the condoms out of the pocket and put one on.

So I'm tearing the pussy up, right? This shit feels great, and plus a nigga's ego is soaring 'cuz it's all about the hunt and the capture for niggas. We finish. She's holding me. Then, slowly, the "Batshit" I remember comes back. "I need to tell you something." Oh shit. "You're not the only guy I'm seeing. I'm seeing two other guys." In reality I'm thinking "That's it? Stop being so dramatic about that shit." But there was something else at work with me. I had put in so much time just kicking it with "Batshit" I really did like her more than as a potential fuck partner. I started to feel a little upset, kind of betrayed. So now, in my mind this broad becomes "Nola Darling" and I'm that big headed light skinned nigga "Jamie" and this is a scene from "She's Gotta Have It". I start feeling like a chump and I realize that I've let my guard down in this little city. This shit don't happen to me. None of these little difficulties would have happened to me in Detroit. But I've let my guard down in this city, so I'm really mad at myself for being a sucker. I tell her "I really have put you at the forefront of my social circle. I don't really appreciate being one of three like this", I say hypocritically. "Batshit" also tells me that what we did violated her pact with God. She feels she has betrayed Him by breaking the promise that she'd only have sex again with husband. Yeah, folks, I know. She not only invited me over after what happened last night, she initiated the sex. She is really living up to her name, but I'm really too tired to argue and I fall asleep.

I'm awakened a couple of hours later by "Batshit" grinding her pelvic bone on my thigh. She's moaning and putting my hand on her snatch. Dick is at attention. I grab another rubber and I'm in it. This time it's a little more in synch, a little wilder, a little rougher. This shit feels great. Again we finish. It is 4:46 am according to her alarm clock and she gets up to run a bath. I lay there for a few minutes and then I get up to see her. She's sitting in the bathtub looking straight ahead. I go back to the bed and fall asleep. "Batshit" comes back to the bedroom wrapped in a towel and asks me to leave. "I need some time alone."

So there you have it, one more episode in the Boondock Chronicles.

Take it easy,


Melle Mel said...

Damn Zed! You got the ass and look what happened... She truly lived up to the name "Batshit" this time!

Disco said...

DAMN!! Her ass is crazy and you gon come home a find a rabbit boiled in scalding pot of hot water in a minute bruh. Tread lightly Zed. The bitch is crazier than you know....i am sure of it. Tel this broad to STOP fuckin' wit'cho testosterone or CHILL it.

My-Conscience said...

Sound like split personality to me. Zeddy.. face it that is the life a single man trying to get ass. Just deal with it and move on and be thankful that she is not married to you telling you this.

Anyone who talks the talk about God, but don't Walk the Walk are not walking at all!!!

I suggest you take Robyn's advice and stay away.. Next thing you know she will be telliing you that some guy gave her something and now you have to go get your mouth checked out!!! YOU CAN GET SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH.....BE CAREFUL.. DON'T JUST USE CONDOMS, USE DENTAL DAM'S AS WELL...

Chubby Chocolate said...

Zed, Zed, Zed...

Did you not heed what I wrote on your last post?! The others are right, STAY AWAY from her. She's playing with you. She's living out some sick fantasy with this "I'm saved, but am fighting temptation" bull crap. Stop falling for her trap! You sought, you conquered, leave it at that.

Knockout Zed said...

I try y'all. I really try. I listen to all of you. If you knew how isolated I am here and the life I am used to living, you'd know how hard it is for me to just let it drop. I did what I did. I'll try not to do it no mo'.

NameLiar said...

I have a feeling if she calls you will be back for more Zed, especially since you are isolated and the shit is good. Just put ya guards up, remember your foot work, bob and weeve

twin said...


My-Conscience said...

Jerk that Johnson before you sleep with her again!!! You hear?
-Mecrazyme A.K.A BossLady as per Sudani72 on my blogroll.

toneec42 said...

Zed brotha! Not to jump on the bandwagon, but "Batshit" ain't all there. And now that you've hit it and hit it well, she gonna come at you seven ways to Sunday. She may even convince herself you are her husband since she couldn't resist the temptation.

But do I sense a little more on your part than just a new playmate? Maybe I'm wrong.

Remember measure twice to cut once.

Organized Noise said...

You reap what you sew.

Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it.

Everything that's good to you, is not good for you.

Those days of search and conquer should have been left in high school. The older we get the more drama we have to deal with. This woman sounds like she needs to spend some quality time laying down on a leather couch.

She Her Me said...

Dang, for real??

I usually am on the woman's side in things like this...but uh... That broad is certifiable. Seriously.

Btw, you are an excellent storyteller. I'm trippin out over here!