Thursday, September 29, 2005

Your Boy Catches an "L"

"My girl's a grown woman/she ain't gettin' her Eagle on/she'd rather be in the bed/tryin' to get her Kegel on" -Phonte from Little Brother, "Say It Again" on The Minstrel Show.

Hey niggas, what da deal is? Man, I'm fucking sick. Sick to my stomach. I just left lunch with Jayne Kennedy. We met at this upscale downtown restaurant. I got there first. I asked to be seated on the atrium facing the entrance. She came in looking fucking outstanding. Tall, beautiful, titties and hips and shit all coming at me. She's smiling, just fucking beautiful.

When JK sat down we immediately started a lively conversation about the culture shock I must be experiencing. She grew up here in Satan's Anus, so she's pretty used to the slow ass pace and lack of black people. Her only escape was when she went away to college (we went to the same university. She started the year I finished so we totally missed each other). She got dragged back by family obligations. So we begin to talk about situations.

She asks if I've ever been married or if I have a girlfriend. I say yes, I've been married and divorced. No I don't have a woman currently. She says yes, she's been married and divorced too. But yes she has a new boyfriend, who she's been with 11 fucking days.

If you know me a little bit by now, you know this, I don't give a fuck if she has a man. This is my issue: because the relationship is so new, it'll be harder to fucking sabotage. Them fucking endorphins are still intact. If she'd been with this nigga a year or so, I could slip in and fuck. He'd be none the wiser, except for how much more room they'll be in the pussy after me! hehehe

The one thing on my side is that this shit is long distance. That nigga lives....drumroll please...IN DETROIT! Unless that nigga's dick stretches across the state, I might be able to get over.

So she sees that I'm disappointed. I can't even fucking fake it. I had some shit riding on this, like my whole muthafuckin' winter in this hellbox. JK says "Well at least let me introduce you to some of my friends". I say "I don't wanna meet your friends. I'm interested in you". WTF?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water here, but I'm about to lose my fucking Player Card. As a matter of fact, if any officials from Player, Inc. read this blog, they might be calling to revoke it soon.

JK says "I have friends that are so much more accomplished than I am and they are beautiful women". I say "If I go out with them I have absolutely no chance to ever hook up with you. That shit's over." I continue, "I'll tell you what, if you and this cat are still together in 1 year, I'll met your girls. Otherwise, if you break up with him before 1 year's time, you gotta give me the first opportunity to date you." She's smiling and shit, "O.K. I can do that." I'm fucking pitiful, grasping at straws and shit. It was fucking absolutely embarrassing.

I left a defeated man. I'm embarrassed to even see her around after that shit. I was desperate and completely uncool. And now sick to my stomach.

Nauseously Yours,


Melle Mel said...

Damn Zed, haven't you known her like 10 days?!! Funny how things like that manage to happen. Don't worry, she could still be the one, I don't see a ring on her finger :)

Pamalicious said...

Hmmm, both of ya'll endorphins are on overdrive. I wouldn't throw in the towel just yet - it takes 14 days for signs of insanity to come out of the practiced. She hasn't slipped from your fingers just yet - so you may get your 'winter blanket' afterall

Chubby Chocolate said...

You're hanging up the gloves so soon? If she moved you that much, keep at it!
Beware though. You showed her your hand, so she's get one up on you...BUT CONTINUE TO FIGHT!!!
You're my blog-twin...We fight dirty when it comes to gettin' the draws! GO FORTH & SABOTAGE!!!

My-Conscience said...

**Shaking head at Chubby Chocolate.

Zed I think you have met your Match. I hate to say, but GO JK!!!

You are still my peeps though.