Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Zed Got A Bed

Unrelated quote from Hip Hop's Golden Age
On the end of my chinny chin chin sits black hairs/string by string I think I counts five pairs - "Peachfuzz" by KMD

What's happening GorillaClan? It's ya boy, KZ, looking to turn his luck around. I took my car to the shop yesterday. I found out the first mechanic I took it to tried to gouge the fuck outta me. He told me that I had a blown head gasket and the repair would cost $2400. Then I went to other mechanics that estimated that a head gasket repair wouldn't cost more than $1500. Finally, I took it to one of the other mechanics who told me I'd been misdiagnosed. I had a intake manifold issue that would cost me $450. I dodged a bullet on that one.

So I was feeling pretty good about myself. I decided to call Jayne Kennedy. I left her a message and realized that I forgot to leave my callback number. Stupid! So now I gotta wait to call her again and remember to leave the digits if I have to leave a message. In the meantime, I can honestly say I kinda miss Batshit. I guess it's really a matter of not having anyone to "play" with as opposed to missing her crazy ass.

You know how you put your business card in one of those bowls at a restaurant to win a free lunch? You know how you find out that that shit is a scam for a financial consulting group to call and harrass you at work? Well, I stupidly dropped my card in a bowl and "won" one of those lunches for 15 people. So you know I don't know anyone here, right? So I'm asking staff if they'd like to go and hear this spiel. A few takers, but not 15. So I talk to "Poppins" who has a huge stable of eligible female friends. I ask her if any of her girls would be interested. She gives me a woman's name and number and asks me to call her to see if she'd like to come. I feel this is a little awkward, but I call anyway. We talk on the phone, I tell her I work with Poppins and invite her to this lunch. She tells me she also got roped into this shit with the free meal and hers is tonight. She invites me and of course I have to accept.

I get to the restaurant with these 14 strangers, we introduce ourselves and I meet ol' girl. She's o.k. looking, dressed nice with a low cut top and some huge ass titties. So now I'm interested. We listen to a five minute presentation from the financial advisor who then leaves, and we are left to chill and eat. It's actually a pretty good way to get friends together to eat for free. To make a long story short, when I finally left after about 2 hours of getting to know all the people I ate with, I shook ol' girl's hand. "Remember to come out to my lunch on the 4th, o.k.?" She holds my hand, "Maybe we can do lunch before then?" She's smiling. So now I gotta fuck her.

In the meantime, today I take delivery on a BED. That's right niggas, I finally broke down and bought a bed. I actually bought it on Friday before I knew what the car was going to cost me. I got sick of waking up sore on one side of my body. Hopefully my dreams will be better. I know my sex will.


6 comments:

Disco said...

O.K., as for Batshit, you are PROVING the statement that I always make :"crazy pussy makes for crazy niggas". ARE YOU SERIOUS??? You "miss" this BROAD IN ANY WAY???? You have more puh-SAY swirling around you than the average lesbian! WTF is wrong with your head???!! If I were up there I'd HAVE to come by just to slap the SHIT out of you, hopefully back into reality, and leave.

*wiping brow*

O.K, onto the bed. Ladies: all I have to say is....bring a black light with you. You have been warned HAAAAA HAAAAA !!!!

Melle Mel said...

You sure do meet a lot of hoes to be out in the boonies Zed!

NameLiar said...

Damn she held on to your hand so now you got to fuck her...So what you saying is that I have to shake a niggas hand and smile and I will get the drawz...I'll have to try that tactic with the appropriate nigga. I'll report back with my findings...lol

Knockout Zed said...

@Robyn
I root out pussy like a hog finding truffles. It's what I do.

@KeKe
I would walk by most of these women if I were in a major metropolitan city.

@Nameliar
It only works in remote areas, far removed from civilization. Otherwise, I would have thought, "Damn, she's forward." Try it anyway. I'd like to know how that works out for you.

Chubby Chocolate said...

Missing BATHIT?! I see you like that crazy, psycho, keep one eye opened sex? Yeah, me too. :-)

If we ever should meet, I have to remember to not shake your hand...

toneec42 said...

Whew! I'm glad to hear that shaking hands thang is only in the boonies, otherwise I'd be walking around with my hands in my pockets all the time.
Happy you up off the near floor. Grown people should not sleep on futons.