I was on my way to get my shoes shined yesterday and I saw ol' girl. Ol' girl is this woman I see almost everytime I'm "Downtown" (sorry about the quotes, but it's really very little). A Black woman, around my age, doesn't ever speak. That's par for the course around here, though. As I was getting my shoes shined I looked out the window while she read.
I was in one of my midday "isolation" funks, where I've just gotten off the phone with a friend of mine and I realize how alone I am here. So I make a determination. I'm going to insinuate myself into these Black peoples lives. I refuse to be treated like muthafuckin' scum because I didn't grow up in the Boonies.
I was in one of my midday "isolation" funks, where I've just gotten off the phone with a friend of mine and I realize how alone I am here. So I make a determination. I'm going to insinuate myself into these Black peoples lives. I refuse to be treated like muthafuckin' scum because I didn't grow up in the Boonies.
When I came down from the chair, I paid ol' dude and walked across the street to ol' girl.
"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm fine." She's still looking down
"My name's Zed, what's yours?"
"Malakia."
"Malakia?"
"Unhunh."
"Well, it's nice to meet you Malakia." I extend my hand.
She looks up at it and half heartedly shakes it. "I've seen you out here before."
"Yeah, I know. I see you all the time too. I just wanted to introduce myself so it wouldn't be like we were total strangers. Do you work downtown?"
"Yeah, I work for URQ. It's a healthcare system."
"Really? I work for the city."
Her head goes down. She's reading again.
"Well, it was nice meeting you."
"You too" she says, without looking up.
I walk away, pretty much resigned to not doing that shit again.
I got back to my office 10 minutes later. One of my staff people comes in and says "Were you just on Main Street?" "Yeah." "Well my daughter's friend Malakia just called me and asked about you." "Really?" "Un-hunh." "She asked who you were and I told her you were the boss." "Ummm, OK." "She wanted me to give you her number and to let you know you can call anytime."
I will not call that number. I was not fishing for her number. I just wanted to be able to see a Black person on the street and greet her, that's all. So now since I am whoever the fuck I am, I'm validated as a person, and not only will she greet me, she wants to hook up. I think Sadat X said it best: "I wasn't that cute when I didn't have no loot."
I will not call that number. I was not fishing for her number. I just wanted to be able to see a Black person on the street and greet her, that's all. So now since I am whoever the fuck I am, I'm validated as a person, and not only will she greet me, she wants to hook up. I think Sadat X said it best: "I wasn't that cute when I didn't have no loot."
She's on that proverbial "BULLSHIT". If this is the way I get to interact with people in this city, I give up.
KZ
44 comments:
Fuck her...literally...and then tell her she was just fodder.
Then you can resume your courting with....whoever. Just not her!
Riveting.
Thanks for telling this story. Because at any time of the day when I'm approached by some random brotha he gets the shoulder. I just don't want to be hit on.
I guess they're not always trying to hit on me, huh? My ego is way too big.
@Blah
That's why you've always got a place in my heart. That right there!
@Chele
To tell you the truth, Chele, I probably would've been trying to hit on you if I approached you or her, if circumstances were different. I'm just not in that place right now. But really I was guilty before I opened my mouth.
Another thing is, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't IMMEDIATELY called her homegirl's mother to get the lowdown on me. Obviously she was interested or something.
The game was unnecessary. Completely unnecessary. I don't want her, never did.
KZ
interesting...
now go play fair and ask me a dayum question please LOL!!
@RD
I got PLENTY of stuff to ask you. Blogger are nosy and gossipy. They'll be calling me out all over the blogosphere, so I have to be careful!
KZ
that's funny...funny how "much more attractive" loot or an impressive title/position can make you to some folks...man she should consider herself kicked to the curb with a steel toed boot.
Dang, that IS a small town...Well at least the report back was good, "He's the Boss"
...instead of something foul like, "Gurl! He got herpes and four kids, his last babymama just go out of jail and no one's heard from his wife in ten years, she may be buried under the house!"
I mean at least your reputation is good and all. But yeah, you dont need to call that one back. When you see her again, and you will, make sure you look down at a book when she speaks to you...BWAHAHAHAH!
Ol girl tryna do a background check on a brotha. That's too funny.
The nerve of her to think u wanted to HOOK up...although u know u wouldnt have approached her if she was a MUD DUCK.But im saying u should F.U.Ck her and then DUCK her and then she'll know hows it feels
Cancel That Bitch...You Can Buy Another !!!
@All y'all
UPDATE: She sent another message from my staff person. She wanted to let me know that she's got a bachelor's degree and is able to talk about a wide range of subjects. She's itching for me to call.
@Newy
I should try to get at one of her friends.
@Mack
Dude, I approached her so business like, without game, and she still played me like "blah"! (No offense, Blah)
This bullshit brush off is a common story among hard working, quasi-decent, "square" dudes.
@Chez
She is ensured of the "flux" whenever I see her again. I love this shit.
@T Cas
I wouldn't have even minded the background check. We all do that when we can. It's the Mike Jones shit. "Back then y'all didn't want me..."
@Ill Nana
This is the key to the story, Nana. You're exactly right. I likely wouldn't have approached her if she looked like "The Gooch". But I still didn't try to spit game.
If I fuck and dodge, that would be devastating move. I'd have to do that just before I leave here.
@1 In
She's as good as done.
KZ
that is some bullshit...
small towns gotta love umm!
You better not call her!
Don't give her the satisfaction.
DO NOT DO IT!
This is the conversation that took place when she called to check on you:
Malaika: Some guy tried to hit on me and he claims he works for the city...His name is Zed Zednanerh...
Worker: OH girl, He's big time here, he's my boss....
Malaika: Why didn't he say that, then? Well give him my number.....
Then the next time you see her (because you will see her) be as nice as you were before and watch her practically beg to lick your ass crack.
@30preg
I know you whole life story just by reading your username!!! That's pretty live!
Yeah, small towns suck.
@CC
They're on some ol' bullshit! I can't take it!
I don't have that number anymore. There is no chance I could call it even by mistake.
That's Satan's Anus, though.
KZ
Don't stop meeting and greeting black folks just because of that one idiot woman. I'm in NY, land of the crazy folks and I speak to anyone who speaks to me or if I make eye contact. . I don't do teh name thing but I always say hello. Sometimes a simple good morning can make someone's day (I was told that this morning).
Mofo's are funny about the not speaking because of perceived superiority. Anyway, she was also trying to play the game all wrong. ah well such is life.
what kind of booshit is that? you doing the right thing. you know, here in atlanta there's alot of that 'no talking to an african' thing going too. you'd think it'd be different, right? only here, there is alot of competitiveness and that makes folk unwilling to extend themselves, even in friendship. it SUCKS.
Lawd, lawd,lawd......
I am with Blah...FUCK THAT TRICK.
I hate hoes and hoes hate me for that VERY REASON!!!
**BIG OBNOXIOUS SIGH**
>;(
I try to say hello to the black people when I see them because where I live (Canada) there aren't many. I think in the states though if a dude says hello and introduces himself it seems like he's trying to pick you up. That's just my experience. It's too bad you can't just talk to people without it seeming like some sort of commitment.
do not pass go...do not collect $200...do not call that heifer.
that was a bullshit move! especially since she admitted to seeing you around and not speaking. it would be different if she had extended the invitation before learning of your credentials.
the second message is cracking me up! did she say that shit for real?
OK I’mma take the other side of this. Just for the sake of an argument (or an attack) and to keep this going. Maybe she wasn't or isn't a bitch. Maybe she's one of those people that doesn't like strangers approaching her on the street? I think that you look like a friendly person but looks can be deceiving. Serial killers look like normal people. After all she did call, she didn't just throw your card in the street!!!One conversation and you’ll know if she’s full of shit not. Sometimes we are just so hard on each other. OK don’t everybody attack once.
@OSB
Everytime I speak, all of a sudden something on the sidewalk or a wall becomes hella interesting. The Black people are wack!
@Honest
She won the game. I'll never talk to her again.
@Nikki
In Detroit, a cat might blow your brains out but at least he'll speak. It didn't used to be like that. Growing up in the 80's, if you spoke to a dude you didn't know, you'd get your ass beat. "Nigga, I ain't friendly!" That was the mantra.
@Robyn
It's a sad state of affairs when you can't say "hi" to your peoples, men or women.
@Miz JJ
Actually if I was trying to pick her up, diss me and be done with it. Why call your friend's mother? Because she was frontin'! She was diggin' me and wanted to see if I was worth it. That's why I'm upset. All she had to do was be civil. Or else not call to find out the deal on me. Rejection is a part of Black male life. I can take it.
@Aqua
I shortened it up for the blog, but she DEFINITELY had see me before. She ran down THE LOCATIONS. And then she played herself. Goofball!
That second message is THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!! She actually is trying to make herself more attractive to me by playing the erudite.
@OneFrom
You're right, you can't judge a book by it's cover. But I say let me pursue a date or a phone number before I get dissed. I didn't hand her my card, I just introduced myself and was going to leave.
She played herself by telling her friend's mother to give me her number. I could still be a serial killer or an asshole. Now she knows I'm second in command of a city department. What the fuck does that mean other than she thinks I'm making money?
I see where you're coming from though. I get it.
KZ
lol@the sadat quote
phife has a similar quote too
I see you take pos/plug 1's advice..never flaunt the coin cause dime getters be gazin.
hmmmm...i have mixed feelings on this one. i feel what you're saying though, why you gotta be cool now that she's called her peeps to "validate your existence?" but then again, we all do that at some point or another. when you introduced yourself and said you worked for the city, she instantly knew that she could check up on you because she had peeps there. tnow the next question is, but why check up on you, right? well, that's because her ass was probably "intrigued" at the fact that yall have seen each other before, yet YOU were the one that initiated contact. no corny lines. no fronting. no pretenses. no expectations. "I just wanted to introduce myself so it wouldn't be like we were total strangers." as a professional woman, she was probably already ready with her bullshit detector spray! but you didn't come at her like that. and the fact that she called up her peeps and got a "reading" on you that was official ("he's the boss"), probably made her smile a little bit too. i know it's not right zeddy ruxpin, but it is what it is... :-$
With great power comes great responsibility.
Now its your responsibility to tap that ass..lol..
Like onefromphilly, I was ready to play devil's advocate on this one(because I'm a mean motherfucker on the street too, and while I try to smile/talk to my peoples, sometimes my default "don't talk to me" face is set and I don't even realize it), up to the point where she called again to make sure that you knew she had a B.A. and could converse on a range of subjects. WTF? You ain't hiring a nanny.
I'm not part of the coterie, but that's just my 2 cents --
LMAO @ that 2nd phone call.
Da hell???
If you gotta spit your credentials like that, you aint nuttin but a hoodrat.
Ole phony broad. Hmph
Cracking up at this one. So has she sent you an e-mail yet letting you know her Sign, GPA, myspace page address and school schedule?
Goofies like that make it rough for real women who know HOW to play the "game" without fouling out. It's all about the style.
Bet...do the check up if you are unsure..but don't send ya' friends mama to deliver the message.
Think you'd have been much more impressed with a fancy note sent to your office with
"It was nice meeting you today, thanks for the introduction. I like a man with manners/style/dreds (whateva') Do you do Coffee?
By the way...Nice Tie"
It's all about STYLE!
To hell with her and her no manner having ass!
Tell call and tell her you're not really into dating but you'd like her to come over when you get home from the club and see how that goes over...
I had a similar experience, some nobody ass actor thought I was an assistant and when he found out i was a producer he wanted my card...i literally laughed so hard in his face he was visably uncomfortable.
some folks ain't got no home manners.
wanna movie reccomendation?
You know, I was right with 1fromPhilly with that one! Especially since I always seem to have seemingly normal men walk up on me only to find out they have some sort of personality disorder or some other "bullshittery" going on!
But when she called back and dropped her personal resume? Oh now that's some pretentious shyt! Like a Bachelor's degree means that she has conversation?? I know plenty of women and men who came out of college with me and had not a DAYUM bit of convo in them! Plus she looks down on people if they don't measure up to mainstream standards?? Oh puleease, tell that heifer to go kick rocks! That's some BS right there!
*LOL*! All this from someone who FINALLY commented on your post! Better late than never!
~Jaine Blaize
@L and TV
"...they call me Luther Van because my style is so amazing." I love that line. That dime getter line belonged to Trugoy.
Sweetie, it's time to post!!!
@FA
I got a new update. Wanna hear it? Here it go: She CALLED me and left a message on my work phone.
Who's the boss? Hint: It ain't Tony Danza.
@Slish
Man, that advice sounds like it comes from the Slasher. You know the Slasher is my man, right?
@Adams
You gotta know how many dumbass people I know with Bachelor's degrees. Slightly more than I know with Master's degrees. And I know one or two PhD'd idiots.
@Single Ma
I haven't even had sex with a chick without a BS-BA since I was an undergrad myself. Why would she think it's all that impressive? Degrees ain't shit but hoes and tricks.
@1969
Didn't Biz Markie make a song about this?
@Isha
We all check up on someone when we can, right? If we have a friend that may have the inside scoop, we call 'em, right? But she COMPLETELY blew me off. Not cordial or subtle, but completely, then tried to redeem herself. That's the shit that I can't swallow.
@Miss Ahmad
Damn, you laughed in his face? I'll be careful what I ask you for, OK?
@BB
You know my life ain't shit. These little bullshit stories are the most exciting thing happening in my life.
@Blaizie Blaize
When did a Bachelor's degree make you smart? It takes someone who hasn't been around a lot of college educated people to make that leap. A college degree shows me one thing: You're able to complete something other than high school.
KZ
This was actually VERY funny.
The thing is... she is SWEATIN' you now.
I mean when you approached her were you looking
like a scrub or something?
I mean if she knew ANYTHING about "ties"
she would have known- like i did-
that you was the MAN!!! She already is unworthy
because she is a payless shoe hoe, for not recognizin'
the real when he comes correct.
Don't worry Zeddy, when you're ready to move away from there you come on home to me :)
P.S.
I'm a Superstar, have a degree and can talk about a wide rage of subjects...
I'm also VERY spoiled, prone to spend ALL yo' cash,
but will look GREAT on your arm :)
I'll be sure to leave a message for you AGAIN later...
well i laugh at laughable shit, that's what keeps me young and alive!
i thought you liked those aggresive women anyway. if you're not gonna offer to show her your porn collection or first date her at the strip club maybe ya'll can be friends and laugh about all of this in years to come.
sounds like she's a lightweight stalker which could prove to be real interesting, real fast!
@SanginDiva
Heeeeyyyyyyy Sexy!!!!
When I spoke to her, I was wearing a light gray suit with a patterned shirt french cuffed shirt, a cool tie, and freshly shined Kenneth Cole kicks (not Reaction, real KC!). Suit and tie cats ain't everybody's cup of tea, but c'mon! I was pretty fly.
Don't make me fly to Cali and upset your other suitors!
KZ
@Miss Ahmad
Hey Beautiful!!!!!
Don't you like the smell of desperation in the air? It's fan-tas-tic!
We ain't gon' be friends. I'll speak when I see her, just as was my initial intention.
KZ
She so garbage!!!
son, I'm sorry. I'm not posting anytime soon. I have absolutely nothing new to say. Plus I'm still sick. Please feel free to post something...bimbo's and airheads, funny fat kids, funny commercials...
that was tru's line? I coulda sworn that was Kelvin. I'm slippin.
if she shows up at the office next, i might faint away :)
Okay I am totally confused...this ish like a scriputre...I gotta read the one before and after your initial contact first in order to say anything...:)
I came to be FIRST for the NEW post. Set my alarm clock and everythang!! Damn man. You slackin' on your pimpin'. (LOL)
I'll be back... (sigh)
Peace!
The new and improves Mariposa ;)
"Rejection is a part of Black male life."
It's a part of Black female life, too ...
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