Hey peoples. I'm truly tired. Mentally tired. I need a real fuckin' vacation. One involving not moving a muscle, and lots of alcohol. I always take days off in drips and drabs because I'm really too restless to enjoy a lot of unplanned time. I get four weeks of vacation a year, which is double what I got at all my old gigs. And I never used it all at my old gig. I think I may need to just take a week and be at home.
I got Wispy(admin. asst.) in here complaining about Debbiee (that's the way her dumbass spells it, admin. asst.) and her lack of work ethic. For 10 pts: What color is Wispy? Bonus Question: What color is Debbiee?
This shit don't stop. My boss is on vacation for the next 10 days, so it's all me. That means every dumb ass question that comes from City Hall is now my bailiwick. How many teardrops can fit on the head of a pin? I'm your guy. What's better for my puppy: Eukanuba or Science Diet? Ask Zed. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Yes, you, despite your childish denials. Couldn't be? Then who?
I got Wispy(admin. asst.) in here complaining about Debbiee (that's the way her dumbass spells it, admin. asst.) and her lack of work ethic. For 10 pts: What color is Wispy? Bonus Question: What color is Debbiee?
This shit don't stop. My boss is on vacation for the next 10 days, so it's all me. That means every dumb ass question that comes from City Hall is now my bailiwick. How many teardrops can fit on the head of a pin? I'm your guy. What's better for my puppy: Eukanuba or Science Diet? Ask Zed. Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Yes, you, despite your childish denials. Couldn't be? Then who?
In my frustration I've created a comprehensive list of people, organizations and situations that are untoward, in my humble opinion. I say to them all: You, sir/madam, may eat a dick!
The police
Assumptionists (go buy a "Jumping to conclusions" mat!)
Flight Attendants
Platinum Diggers (Super Gold Digger ass broads)
Pretentious hair stylists (loctician, my ass)
Your pastor
Platonic friends
Casper, Wyoming (fuck a city that calls itself "Casper")
Fat bootied lesbians
Comcast Cable
Wild Pitch Records
Boston Market
The University of Michigan
Tom Breihan from the Village Voice
Chain e-mails on any subject whatsoever. I gives a fuck.
Assumptionists (go buy a "Jumping to conclusions" mat!)
Flight Attendants
Platinum Diggers (Super Gold Digger ass broads)
Pretentious hair stylists (loctician, my ass)
Your pastor
Platonic friends
Casper, Wyoming (fuck a city that calls itself "Casper")
Fat bootied lesbians
Comcast Cable
Wild Pitch Records
Boston Market
The University of Michigan
Tom Breihan from the Village Voice
Chain e-mails on any subject whatsoever. I gives a fuck.
Regards,
KZ
44 comments:
i heard about what Tom said.......
What did Boston Market do to you..im craving some of their corn bread..rihgt now....COMCAST>>>IS THE DEBIL>>>how i got service on July 8 and i owe them bastids $213.......
Oh yeah FIRST yall SLIPPIN
first!
my pastor?
now that's taking it a little too far. sounds like someone needs a little respite from the work force...
to bad you don't like fly cuz i know a few relaxing places i could suggest!
you really own a tux?
damn girl who keeps changing her name beat me!
@Ill Nana (yes, you still Ill Nana)
Boston Market won't build a store in Satan's Anus. The only time I can go is when I'm on the other side of the state.
Fuckin' Comcast! High assed prices!
@Miss Ahmad
Damn, Miss Ahmad. Second ain't so bad.
Relaxing places? Jucuzzi? Bra testing facility? Oralsexatorium?
I do indeed own a tux. "Real" frat business means I have a gang of formal events to go to. So I need that tux at least 3 times a year.
What did Wild Pitch records do? They holding on to some old Main Source masters?
mustard and ketchup please.
@T Cas
EXACTLY!!!! I knew a real hip-hop head would know my beef!
I bought "Breakin' Atoms" on CD years ago. Someone broke into my car last year and stole it. I tried to buy another one and it was out of print. I went to eBay and they wanted $150 for it. That shit made my stomach turn.
KZ
@Chele
The other bloggers don't know I luv you like I do. That comment is one of the reasons why.
KZ
Dude I'm taking a semi vacation now and chilling at home it's great. You really do get yourself together after sitting around scratching for a week.
Just in case you're asked. Proplan is better then Eukanuba or Science Diet.
tuxedos make me quiver...on the inside.
HEYYYYYYYYYYY!! WTF???
Platonic Friends
HEEEY MAAAN!! I just did an ode to Zed and now THIS???? My ASS BET'NOT BE INCLUDED IN THAT SHIT!!!!
**snarling and growling**
And just FOR THAT.... I got a chain e-mail wit'cho e-mail addy ALREADY printed out (all 20 of them....).....
Mother made you........
:-)
Oh hell no not boston market. I love that place. But I must say Publix can eat a big chunky one too for being out of fish fry seasoning yesterday.
Sounds like someone peed on your wheaties this morning. Exhale Zed!!
Newy
You a nut!!
Are you poking Debbiee? Da hell Wispy get that extra 'e' from? Sounds like she wants next. Break her off, maybe she'll leave you alone.
Can I have your email addy? You'll like this chain. I heard you'll see naked women on your screen after clicking send and it'll give you good luck. LOL
NOOOOOO!!! Not Boston Market =-(
I's sho do luvs they chicken (lol)
Zed, I don't talk to you for a week and come back, and you're still bored, still Pet-pissed off, still refereeing fights with the Squawkers (let 'em fight goddangit, let 'em fight! LOL!), still off on a tangent, and still in need of a vacation... what I'ma do with you?
I'm going to my meditation spot tonight; I'ma say a prayer for you, okay? LOL! Wish you could join me. No yoga involved; just you and your Lord in the middle of my backyard. In the dark. No lights. Well, maybe ONE candle...
Have a good one.
Oh yeah, you stopped mastur...didn't you? I just noticed.
back at ya, boo.
LMAO @ Robyn.
Fascinating.
....did you just tell me to go eat a dick? Well ok, don't be mad when I do it and it ain't yours...
...wait eat?...I thought you meant suck!
Fascinating.
LMBBAO@Lesbians with big booty
See that's why you have to occasionally look at the FRONT of a woman, Knockout. Cuidado, Boo before your next post is called Angie with Adam's Apple!
BWAAAHAAAHAA!
@CG
I'm trying to take a breather. Between personality disorders, the department budget, and the eight projects I'm managing, it's impossible to do anything about it.
Eukanuba is just fun to say!
@Honest
@Robyn
Remember when that cat offered Malcolm X some nutmeg in cold water when he was fiendin'? Platonic friend, where's my nutmeg? Hunh? Not you specifically 'cuz you'z a married woman, but you get my analogy, right?
Mother had you...
@Stilts
How they gon' be outta fish fry seasoning in the south? That's treasonous!
@Newy
Pissy Wheaties may eat a dick, also.
@Single Ma
Nekkid women are always lucky!!!
Nah I ain't pokin' them chicks! They're the worst!
@1 in
Boston Market could at least have a little booth or something in the mall. I mean, damn.
@Insanity
I need somebody to pray/meditate or something for me. I'm wildin' out.
I did stop masterbating as a matter of fact. I might start again soon. I recently got some inspiration.
@Chele
You know I gotta stop harassing you once you jump the broom, so I'm trying to get as much as it in as possible right now.
@Blah
I can't get mad. I had that gland removed telephonically.
Fascinating?
@Mariposa
Really? Butterflies don't eat dick?
Interesting.
KZ
@Chez
You know I have a hard time paying attention to the front. But I'm not gonna miss a damn cock and balls, I ain't that blinded by booty, trust me!
KZ
lol@the JUMP to Conclusions Mat...CLASSIC
i know what you mean about no vacation. i was trying to get a trip in this weekend, but that fell through. now i have no idea when i can catch more than a day.
having responsibility sucks ass sometimes.
damn blogger keeps eating my comments!
umm i'm available for vacay after the first week of october and i'll be in need of alcohol and relaxation by then anyway!
Note, I will never send you another forward, my bad...*lol* I wish I may eat a ...*lol*
Yes, Police...
Platinum Diggers, I love that one...
Pastor...I hope I don't go to hell with you for agreeing...*lol*.
I hate Com(c)ASS...muthafuckas!!
Platonic friends...give me a break on that one but I guess in a men's case that would suck...I like platonic(sike) friends, until they start tryin to fuck me, so now the friendship is no longer platonic, as if it was, ever....
Yes please take a vacation!!!!!!!!!!
@L and TV
Gotta love Office Space
@Aqua
I'm the most irresponsible responsible person I know.
@Miss Ahmad
I'm supposed to be doing the planning?
@Mack
My raspy assed cable connection is buggin' the fuck outta me.
@Nsane
I don't mind forwards. I hate the shit the says "Send this to 20 people".
Most platonic friends are convenient platonic friends. I ain't givin' you the pussy, but pay for dinner. What part of the game is that?
@Phoenix
I need something. SOMETHING.
KZ
@All y'all
To explain this one a little further: I can't stand it when chicks start a sentence "Pastor say..." Man, fuck yo' Pastor. He's just another dude. Get off his dick.
Imma start my sentences "Zed say..."
KZ
okay lemme see if i got this right
Zed say eat a dick Pastor?
Thats game baby...I saw if you got it like that run with it...*lol* But no ones forcing you to buy dinner...but platonic friends do that, as if, that will get the drawers...*lol*
Inspiration for Masterbation...wow I did not know that was needed. From what I hear, one just needs an urge.
Well, I hope life starts treating you better!
Sir Zed...take it from someone who has been on vacation for the last two months, its not all that its cracked up to be...but it does sound like you need a vacation, they got you over there stress'n.
@Miss Ahmad
I hope you told your pastor to eat a dick today.
@Nsane
It is kinda like "if you got it like that, run with it". I get that. But I don't like a chick that I'm not bonin' looking at me like a cheapskate when I'm trying to split the bill. Let's all play our parts. I'm definitely not paying for anything with the expectation I'mma fuck.
@Isha
These days I need inspiration. I didn't used to.
@Slick
Shiiiittttt! Let me find out through experience. A two month vacation? I'll try that shit anytime!
KZ
Friday nite when I ate a turkey dinner @ Boston Market i thought of you...it was mouth watering :_
@Ill Nana
Damn it!!!! Why are you taunting me? I love Boston Market and that comment was like TORTURE!
KZ
no but tomorrow i'm gonna go around work all day telling ofay's
Zed said....
i'll let you know if i'm still employed at the end of the day!
that list should include girls with tongue rings! h wait! that would include me! nevermind... ;-)
@Miss Ahmad
"Zed said I didn't need a bra."
And that's how you keep your gig.
@FA
Tongue ring you say? Austin you say?
KZ
damn i just tripped off those Casual lyrics..
what you know about Casual? isn't he from Oakland?
@Miss Ahmad
I'm a hip hop purist. Of course I know about the whole Hiero crew.
Yeah, ya boy's from Oakland.
KZ
Dayum...what is wrong with "Fat Bootied Lesbians" What did they do to anybody....dey can't control dey booty and how fat it is!
I feel you because I am running up on some fine ass brotha's blogs that are gay as hell...I mean they would throw up at da sight of my goodness. Tragedic...simply God-forbitten Tragedy!
Awww, Man you can't be writing funny shyt like that!
I love it.
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