Friday, August 25, 2006

Things I Found Out Too Late

The withdrawal method doesn't work.
"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life."
Sex On The Beach is a beverage.
I hate microfiber.
Desire causes discomfort.
You can learn everything you need to know about anybody after 2 conversations. People are itching to tell you what makes them "unique".
The internet is crawling with liars.
Anyone frequently calling themselves "intelligent" or "classy" likely is NOT.
Eight hours straight is the longest I can be around anyone without a break.
I can't date a woman if I've never seen her natural hair.
"I have something I need to tell you..." is not foreplay.
Patience and paralysis due to indecision are not the same thing.
Assholes have better days than most other people in general.
There is no way in hell I can handle 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.
You can't be cool with all your exes.
There has yet to be a party that has lived up to its billing.
Even people that wish the best for you sometimes resent your success.
Candy is delicious! (OK, I found that out early)
Fear runs the world.
Aloofness is a two way street.
The people who notice the most often say the least.

KZ

22 comments:

Blah Blah Blah said...

I'm NOT intelligent and classy.
I'm not Unique.
I do however cause dicomfort!
I have great days :-)
Cameo said it best!

chele said...

I'm a product of the withdrawl (rhythm) method. Clearly, it doesn't work.

I usually get what I need in one conversation.

... never seen her natural hair. Sounds like a good story.

Nika Laqui said...

Zed, you are too much...
I loved this post...
We foundout a lot of the same things.

I'm the person that notices the most and says the least...

Knockout Zed said...

@Blah
You're not funny either!

I bet your days are fantastic.

Are you offering me some candy?

@Chele
I'm glad it didn't work in your case.

I was thinking one or two convos. Basically, you can get it pretty quickly.

There's this woman that BLAH BLAH BLAH wanted me to kick it to. All I've ever seen is her braids. Naw, sis. I need to see what you workin' wit'.

KZ

Knockout Zed said...

@Nsane
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize most of these things.

I'm like you too. I'm quiet, all the while compiling "evidence".

KZ

Mr.Slish said...

"The People who notice the most often say the least " WHY IS THAT!!! If you see something that I can't Teeeeelllll Me !!! I wanna know!!!! Don't lay in the cut and watch shit go down, wipe the shit off my face, and say " Oh I saw that coming" I HATE THAT SHIT!!!

Oh btw What up Playboy..Called you last night..Wanted you to check out that report on abc's Prime Time " Aids in Black America" ..lol Chezniki Posted something about it..Check it out...

Knockout Zed said...

@Slish
When did you call? I didn't see it on my phone. I mighta been out having unprotected sex with a hemophiliac Haitian intravenous drug user.

KZ

Phoenix said...

I notice alot. I love to watch folks. I wish that people would sometimes shut their mouths more cause it is usually nothing but hot air coming out.

so did you find out all you need to know about me????????

Most assholes I know "are" very happy.

One thing I found out too late was that most people will come to disappoint you at some point in your relationship with them.

Knockout Zed said...

@Quest
What you know about that?

@Phoenix
Did you watch me? I'm a muthafucka!

One conversation was all I needed. I know you inside and out. Well at least outside. hehehe

When you don't have to consider anyone's feelings but your own, life becomes so much easier.

Everybody disappoints. I disappoint women because I'm too sexy to stay in close proximity to.

KZ

That Girl Tam said...

I'm comin after you...you called me MEAN (yeah I know I'm all late n'shit responding) but I'mma fuck u up man...

But you know you're still my favorite BIATCH, right?? You know that right? HAHAAHAHAHA

Rashan Jamal said...

I found out too late

Most people who claim to be assholes (present company included) are not as assholic as they seem.

And most people that claim to be saintly are not as righteous as they seem

Intelligent and classy means "undercover freak" on the internet.

Why when you typed "candy is delicious" did i get a flashback of LL saying "Im the type of guy that says pudding is delicous"

Knockout Zed said...

@Tam
On my own page!!!! And you don't think you're mean?

@Cas
Dude, I can't stand these baldfaced fuckin' liars, frontin' constantly! What's that saying? "You ain't gotta lie to kick it!"

I can play internet asshole all day, but it's hard to be just mean to a person face to face. If you don't care about a person's feelings, I mean truly don't care, you can breeze through life, steppin' on necks and shit.

As soon as a woman says "I'm classy", I think of a two dollar prostitute.

That LL shit! I forgot about that. It musta been in my subconscious!


@Restless
I just bought a fuckin' microfiber couch about a month ago. I feel like chuckin' this bitch out the window. It feels weird against my legs and shit.

KZ

i like liquor and tv said...

What about skinny, drunk and stupid?

and lol@The people who notice the most often say the least

People like that annoy me. People who sit back in the cut and just look at people. I mean you can pretty it up and say, they're very observant. But still, they freak me out. It's kind of stalkerish IMO.

aquababie said...

i'm one of those silent watchers too. if you listen long enough, true colors start to show.

Sangindiva said...

The withdrawal method doesn't work.

TRUE- I KNOW FIRST HAND OF THIS.

Patience and paralysis due to indecision are not the same thing.

TRUE- BEEN THERE, DIVORCED THAT

There is no way in hell I can handle 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.

TRUE- I KNOW YOU CAN'T HANDLE THEM BABY,
THAT'S WHY THE MAID WILL TAKE CCARE OF IT
JUST BUY THE HOUSE...

Candy is delicious!

DO you want some candy from this CLASSY, UNIQUE,
INTELLIGENT woman? hahahaha!

Angel said...

hell yeah for not seeing a woman's natural hair! i useta have a friend in highschool and we stayed in touch a little while after. so when she got married, me and a mutual friend went to the wedding. needless to say, her soon-to-be-husband had NEVER seen her natural hair. so she was standing there arguing with us about perming her hair with the weave and tracks still in place!!!!!

sj-the-infamous said...

nothing to say....

Organized Noise said...

"You can't be cool with all of your ex's" . . . truer words have never been spoken.

A.u.n.t. Jackie said...

sex on the beach is much more than a drink.

if you can learn all you need to know in two conversations you're probably not a very good listener..

withdrawl is a great method to get pregnant but not to avoid pregnancy!

and umm what do you think of inherantly lazy, awkward, part nerdy women?

That Girl Tam said...

22nd in line BIATCHES!! HAHAHA

Zed...I heart you! LMAO @ the comment u left on my page...u crazy!

Honest said...

Great post and yeah people always want to tell you how they're not like the other billion of people on this earth.

Why the drug user gotta be Haitian? You have a problem with Haitians?

Cleary I'm sensitive about it.

Knockout Zed said...

@L and TV
Skinny and drunk is bad too. Just not as bad.

I'm that cat that annoys you. I'll watch it unfold and say nothing.

@Aqua
What do you see here?

@SanginDiva
You offerin' me candy?

@FA
Hypocrisy run so rampant!

I need to see your real hair and not in a gotdamn photo album.

@SJ
Nothing?

@ON
Some hoes is just evil.

@Miss Ahmad
Is it more than a drink? Or is it the gateway to JAIL?!?

People tell you everything in a very short time. EVERYTHING YOU NEED.

Withdrawal is only for banking accounts.

Inherently lazy, nerdy girls? I'll try that.

@Tam
Always looking to call us bitches!!!
Damn you!

@Honest
No beef with y'all Haitians. I got beef with stereotypes, though.

KZ

@