Thursday, October 13, 2005

If Ballsacs Had Nostrils

Say hey, Munkeelitos! This day has been really fucked up! Extremely fucked up! And I can't really event go into details. Some shit y'all just can't know. I'll let you in on a little of this shit.

The women in my office are going haywire. They beefin'. Tough. They fucking hate each other and are at each other's throats. Guess who's gotta stop the age old feuds and shit like a backwoods Farrakhan? Yep, ya boy ol' Knockout. One secretary hates another secretary because she's getting over by finagaling an office. Another secretary somehow got a handicapped permit and gets to park in the pay lot for free (how dare that arthiritic kneed bitch!) and the other one's are hating. One receptionist has gotten siddity and high falutin' since she got that fancy fuckin' degree from Satan's Anus University. It's all one big melange of bullshit, my nigga.

So I'm the nigga dealing with all the emails, snide remarks, the abuse of position and any other shit they can think of. On top of having a million meetings to go to and listen to whitey sing the blues. Half long, twice strong muthafuckas. Brevity. Conciseness. Unheard of concepts. Shut the fuck up you half witted ass-drone.

I went to this Young Professionals networking gig at the little art museum here with Jayne Kennedy. Instead of being able to get to know her better, she brings her girl with her. A gotdamn buffer. You rotten bitch. Anyway, I'm there with two beautiful women which does me not fucking good. No other black women there, so I got a monopoly. Her girl, as I've stated, is a dime. She got a man too. So I'm listening to these chicks talk about their men. Where's the fucking exit? I had been taking classes from 6:30 pm to 9:30 pm on Thursday nights. I blew it off to come check out JK and this is the shit I get? I didn't invite her to this shit, she invited me. "I don't want to be there alone." I chilled for a while then I left and caught half the class. I wash my hands of that 'ho.

When I came back from class, I called Batshit. She was sounding down. "What's the matter with you?" "I'm about to be 33 and I don't have a baby." "Yo, I'll call you back." That's the very last thing I fuckin' wanna hear. I ain't havin' that discussion, not tonight and not with her.

I don't like dwelling on shit I could've done better, but I made a major mistake recently and I can't take it back. That shit is compounded on all this other little shit. I'm not gonna dwell on if and buts. Shit, if ballsacs had nostrils, fragrant nuts would be the norm. But that's not the case.

Keep Risin',


Insaneblackwoman said...

Knockout -
Please tell me that there is not a place on Earth called Satan's Anus, Michigan. Surely you made that shit up! Must have made that shit up! Can I look that shit up in a Mapsco? Ha !!! Finally figga'd out how to find yo ass. For some reason, I couldn't access your blogspot, but now I have, and I like it. You certainly lead one interesting life, bro.

Didi Roby said...

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha....wait! I'll be back to comment:)

twin said...

u don't have a son or daughter on the way do you. the way you sound you are about the be a father.

Disco said...

dawg. look..... chill.

I got'cha back and that's all I got to say about this.

BUT. where do you come up with the FUNNY ASS SHIT you say??? I have no you for eons and am STILL enthralled by your comedy ALL da time! LOL

Didi Roby said...

Yeeeeessssss IIIIII CCccaaaaannnnn:)

See that's why I work with men...:)

Fragrant Nuts...ummmmm:)


sj-the-infamous said...

"I'm about to be 33 and I don't have a baby." -- Run from that chick, that's emotional madness you really don't wanna be a part of.

There's gotta be some new pussy prospects up in Satan's Anus, playa....

Chubby Chocolate said...

Zedster, they come a dime a half a dozen (you're in the boonies, so they're cheaper in Santan's asshole)...Did that make sense? I'm a little lifted right now, I can't tell. Wait. You know what I mean?! OK. I'm gonna stop blogging while high.

My-Conscience said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
My-Conscience said...

YOU LEFT A CLASS TO GO CHILL WITH SOME GIRL WHO BROUGHT A FRIEND? **Shaking Head** Education of any type comes first!

JK and her friend are laught at you right now. That is some real woman shit (and I am all woman).

JK probably said: Girl, I invited his ass out and he is going to skip class to be with me honey, thinking he is going ot be along with me and get some of this, well you wait until he sees you here.. (Both women laughing)....

Keep your head up and a condom on!