Monday, October 31, 2005

A Bathing Ape

Say Niggas, what's words? I just wanted to reflect on some shit. This blog is for me, not you, so you just gon' hafta deal as I talk about something you probably don't wanna hear. File this under T.M.I.

I take baths about 3 times a week. I'm not Rev. Run and shit, I hate them. I love showers, but sometimes a nigga gotta soak. My main reason is that I'm fucking two "squirters". Do you know what I mean? Women who have squirting orgasms. Your fucking bed looks like a pool when you're done. I'm constantly washing sheets. You gotta take a bath to get the smell of pussy completely off. That shit goes everywhere. Squirting is some disgusting shit, but it's like tangible proof that you're putting in work.

The first time I ever hooked up with a "squirter" was in 1995. I had just graduated from college and I was visiting campus to see some friends. I ran into one girl that I used to know (that I never had sex with)I'll call "Squishy". My boy Three had hooked up with a girl and he wanted me to wait for him. I had no place to go, so I ended up at her crib waiting for my boy. Squishy asked me why I never stepped to her. I told her I thought we'd be better friends. One thing led to another (doesn't it always?) and we ended up in the sack. So I'm eating the pussy, right? She's grabbing my 'fro yelling that she's about to come. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" and roooosh, I almost fucking drown. I got up mad as fuck. "Did you just piss on me?" "No, that's the way I cum." "Get the fuck outta here! Who cums like that?" She wasn't lying though.

I'm in a situation now where I'm having sex with two squirters and it's a trying assed time. It takes a lot of extra hygiene and a lot of washing to stay on top of the situation, but I'm managing. It's hard being a 6'3", 300 pound nigga sitting in a standard tub. So far, it's been worth it.

Stay Dry,
KZ

11 comments:

Melle Mel said...

Zed, this shit is hilarious!

All I can say is that you are a trip!

sj-the-infamous said...

LMAO LMAO LMAO

Spray N Wash, playa....get a case.

Insaneblackwoman said...

Yo,Zeddy:
Tell them hoes (the squirters) to keep that pussy juice to themselves! You don't want that shit on you, nigga. Tell them they gots to keep the squirting to a bare minimum. Or at least a playa know when they about to start squirting so you can stand back in time. Hahahahahahaha!

Pamalicious said...

Clunk! the sound of me falling out my chair from laughing.

The_Practitioner said...

Bro, all I gotta say is that I feel you in a major way.

About 4-5 years ago I had my first "squirter" encounter. Right at that point of orgasm (whilst I was pounding away)...here comes the rain again...woooosh. Soaked sheets. I too thought I was a victim of a golden shower. But I smelled the puddle and alas it was oderless. But that still did nothing for the stain it left on the matress.

That shit should cum with a disclaimer. :o(

twin said...

Dog I had a squirter when I was 18 it scared the shit out of me. I thought she had burned me or poisoned me because it was all over my nut sack. Its funny now but back then it was like seeing Micheal on HALLOWEEN

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...

Smdh... QQn... *lol*

Chubby Chocolate said...

AH! HAAA!!! That was hysterical.
Just see it as our version of rewarding you with a nice "Shower" for a job well done!

toneec42 said...

Zed, I don't even know what to say to you anymore! Bah-haha... most brothas is working hard to make their woman squirt and here you are complaining and shyt! Just goes to show, munkees ain't never happy...

Disco said...

*raising head and opening mouth*.... well damnmmm......I'd heard of those women (white girls only)....I SWEAR I didn't think that they existed in the black community...... That is some strange and freakishly interesting shyt..... how in thee FUCK does a body produce enough liquid for it to seem like somone peed on you????

*crickets*

I need to be a biologist or sum shyt that could give me that answer! I just for the LIFE of me think that is the weidrest and I THOUGHT IT TO BE, the rarest thing.

But you're fuckin TWO BLACK HOES WHO SQUIRT?????*crickets*

interesting and gross....all at the same time. :-)

I'm about to call your ass...

TRUTHZ said...

well, i prefer the term "gush" and it's just as uncomfortable for the girl the first time she "gushes" or squirts as you say as it is for the man who experiences it....if we were together and I gushed, you would need a pat on the back becuz it would mean that you put in some work, cuz i don't gush for everyone..