Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Up Without Smoke

What's up Hottentots? I'm tired as fuck, but I'm not sleepy. I can't sleep. I was lying in bed just thinking about shit and I had to get up. I wish I could smoke. Yeah, I smoke occasionally, but just Djarums and shit. I actually feel like getting lifted. I haven't "smoked" since my wedding day.

I got married in Negril, Jamaica on December 24, 2000. It rained most of the week I was there. Me and my best man bought some stuff on the beach one night. We smoked it 3 hours before my wedding. That was one of the stupidest things I'd ever done in my life. We got so high we were giggling like little girls and shit for the next 3 hours. That nigga's nose started bleeding onto his white shirt as my wife started walking down the aisle. As we were reciting our vows, I actually had to fight an urge to run at full speed into the Carribean Sea. Needless to say, that was a fucking precursor to things to come.

I don't really have shit to talk about but I felt like blogging and shit. I'll be a little conversational. E.T. was texting me all fucking day long. About little shit. I talked to Jayne Kennedy on the phone for about 40 minutes and shit. Feeling her out. It was unproductive. Batshit is in her rare ass form. She invited me out for coffee after work. She's as beautiful as she is crazy, so you know she's a dime. She spent a lot of time talking about her favorite subject: money. I hate that shit. I'm always broke, but I hate talking about money to people. Can you tell it's late for me? Friday I went to the dermatologist and she insisted on going with me. What the fuck was that all about? Bonding? Fuck that.

Did I tell y'all about the Training Specialist in HR? I don't think I did. It was a little embarrassing. This chick is like a 40 year old white woman. Anyway, the day I went home to Detroit, the week before last, she called me in the office and asked me out to dinner. Now, what kind of arrogance have black men given to white women to make them believe that we'd take any piece of shit broad out because her skin is white? This broad is old looking and used up looking. Anyway, I declined. I saw her when I got back at Target. I was there trying to replace toiletries and shit that got stolen. I only had two things in my basket at the time: 2-twelve packs of Magnum condoms.

She stopped to talk to me and shit and she kept looking in the basket. I honestly forgot what I had in the basket until she walked away with a stupid look on her face. I felt like an ass. Do you think she'll leave me alone now?
What the fuck ever.

Anyway, I'm about to go watch ATHF.

Peace out niggas,


Chubby Chocolate said...

I got a very vivid image of your wedding day in JA w/the herb. LMAO!

Djarum Menthols used to be my smoke of choice. I used to buy beedies at the Indian store in Berkeley on Telegraph.The strawberry ones! Oh, you brought back memories...

~ Eclectic Soul ~ said...


Damn Zed... Djarums & Magnums, huh? You brought back some memories for me, too. *whew*

My-Conscience said...

Isn't she the one talking baby? Well she went to the Derm.. with you to make sure you were not taking some chick to her prenatal appointment.

As far as the condoms in the basket.. well at least she knows you stay protected.