Wednesday, October 12, 2005

There's No "i" In "Buttfuck"

Hey niggas, just reloadin' and shit. I went to lunch today with the Deputy City Manager. She's a black woman, extremely professional. Good ass person. If I ever descend into the dark cavernous abyss of Beelzebub (i.e., get married) again, it would be to a woman like that. Real sharp and shit. Hannibalette (that's what I'm calling her) asked me to lunch because she found out I was friends (and frat brother) to her favorite nephew. So we kicked it.

She squoze (is that a word) me for every drop of information on my department she could. The inside scoop. I did the same from her on a citywide basis. Her insight was amazing. She let me know where all the pitfalls would like and who I was likely to clash with. Hannibalette told me to watch out for the fall of Poppins, 'cuz she always wears out her welcome very quickly. She told me I should be running my department in a matter of months because my boss has a distaste for the day to day dealings (shit, so do I !!!).

Hannibalette also told me that she wants to retire soon. "You should be readying yourself to step into my shoes", she said. Fuck that, I'm going to the Big fucking Apple, I thought. But I listened politely. The one thing she did that was invaluable was to run down every there who has fucked black people over every chance they've gotten. Some were crackas I suspected that hate niggas, others flew under the radar. It was a good long list. I made a note of it but by no means did I think it was comprehensive.

She also gave me a heads up on HR. "Don't tell them any shit you wanna keep personal. They talk to everybody about everything." I figured as much, I don't trust HR muthafuckas in general (right, shemunkee?).

The bottom line is to watch out for the fuckin', 'cuz it's-a-comin'.

But you all knew that, didn't you?
KZ

8 comments:

Disco said...

HR Disclaimer: I tell nothing to no one (other than my black hr co-worker). THAT would be my boss you were referring to....nosey, tells ERRRRRRY'BODY's fuckin info even though that hoe is the GATDAMN V-FUCKIN-P of HR@!!! WTF???? So, yeah I agree....shemunkee has spoken.....

Chubby Chocolate said...

It's always nice to have someone give you the inside scoop about the politics of your work place... At first, I wouldn't trust people like that because I thought they were trying to set me up. But there are good ones.

Robyn:You're hilarious!

NameLiar said...

Yeah the "Inside Stuff" wasn't that Ahmad Rashaad's show...lol. It is always good to know what the hell has been going on prior to you starting. No one has done that at my job yet but I guess someone will eventually.

sj-the-infamous said...

The title alone slays me....

Now I gotta go back and read this sh*t LMAO

sj-the-infamous said...

Got it....makes sense now.

How does the saying go? Always keep ya third eye open?

Knockout Zed said...

@Robyn
All y'all HR niggas is suspect!

@CC
I honestly wouldn't have trusted her under normal circumstances, either. But I swear she was even-keeled and very straightlaced around me until she found out I was close with her nephew. Then she decided to kind of take me under her wing.

@nameliar
I'm going to keep asking you shit on your blog until you're sick of me! I want to know it all!

@sj
It's good to keep your third eye open, just not your "brown eye". 'Cuz that's how they fuck ya!

Didi Roby said...

You nosey nigg you!:)

Thanks for your kind words...I feel better...:)

WTH? I got ya know!!!

My-Conscience said...

NEVER EVER TRUST HR!! Only trust in yourself. Shit.... Even watch out for her... It could be a test.